Letter from health visitor in magazine.

[leanoracat]

This is from a letter from a health visitor to the letters page of a supermarket magazine. '...health visitors provide a universal service to all families with children under five. They offer research-based, up-to-date advice that is clear and consistent, and they are available for contact no matter how small the query.'
Discuss.

What I want: friendly, interested but too much, iyswim. Supportive of my choices, not trying to impose her own. Visible would be nice. Oh and please don't say 'If we'd done his development test he'd have been referred a year ago, shame someone else did it' when it WAS you!

And don't tell peole (who turn out to be my sister) all about how 'amazing' I am, and please don't ask me if I love my child in a room full od people just coz I refuse to burst into tears when DS3 fails a hearing test.

And finally (it was the same HV btw) if someone has a premmie, but not PND, don't be so sure they will develop it that you bang on their door on the way to work every morning for months to check 'just in case'- until in fact they get so depressed by yur interference they develop....

exactly

(the premmie was my sister)

See, now I can start to write a list

Leonoracat - I am gloriously defensive and have had a crap day.....

Sorry, if my explanation came over a bit grumpy, Pierre, I think I was being defensive too!

Chandra: OK, sorry, I was mistaken about colic. I thought that it was just intense, inconsolable crying, but it was a misapprehension. I've been back to the books: some babies pull up their knees, but no-one has found any convincing evidence to link the symptom to any specific abdominal complaint. Doesn't mean it's not from the gut, though, just that there's nothing serious wrong (as everyone knows, anyway). Also, seems that there is no treatment which definitely helps, although doubtless some people find certain things seem to work, which is great.
(Anyway, wouldn't count myself as a museli-knitter!)

Thinking about it some more, given that childrearing is as much an art as a science, and working out why babies are crying isn't always that simple, probably lots crying episodes get labelled as colic - maybe there's more than one cause, depending on the child. (Still backpeddling furiously! )
Seriously, when we had our DS, I discovered that it's difficult to find consistent advice. Obviously there are different valid approaches to child-rearing, but when it comes to distinguishing between choices pertaining to your child's health, it would be nice to have advice that is based on some evidence.
One midwife expressed concern that I had taken DS out to a restaurant aged 1 week (non-smoking) with my family while my DW slept off a migraine. I had reasoned that children don't need to be hermetically sealed, and I wasn't planning on passing him round anyone who was ill. I was trying not to be an overprotective parent who sterilised everything.
Thinking that I had better follow whatever advice she could offer, I asked when he could go out.
'Well, he hasn't had his vaccinations yet, has he?'
'But that's not until 3 months. Should I keep him inside until then' (starting to sense the HV is not really sure why she's saying any of this)
'No, of course not'
'Well, sorry if this sounds pedantic, but when?'
'Yes it does, actually'
Eventually, she hedged and said it was unrealistic not to take him out, and what do parents who have a child at school already do? We could take him out for short period each day. Well my point exactly.
I checked with a doctor friend, who asked some other colleagues (paediatricians and midwives) who agreed that there was no problem taking the child out early on.
Sorry that went on a bit, but if I had been more timid, and had not pressed her, we would have been left with a vague idea that taking our DS out was bad, but not quite sure when we could do it, angst, anst, when we'd previously been perfectly happy.

goodness - good job you pushed her - imagine staying in for 3 months!!
thats the annoying bit though - a statement with nothing to back it up!!

when you get a good one though like i had with my first then you notice the bad ones even more!

But the thing is, when you are allocated a HV, you don't know what's bad and what's good, unless you research things - and even then you need to make your own judgements.

Think how many women post on here saying things like "my HV has told me that I should top up with formula" when this is at best arse-like in its usefulness for most women.