bullying in the extreme

[zipper]

my son, who is 12,was recently shot in the back of the head with an air gun on his return home from school. This began what seemsto be a long battle to try to get the culprit expelled, but has really got us nowhere. The headteacher feels that 10 days exclusion is sufficient for this crime, despite the fact that the boy in question has been bullying my son and others relentlessly for ages. My son has experienced verbal and physical abuse, had his property damaged, had coke poured over his head, had rascist comments directed at him, been ganged up against and now shot. When will it end if the treatment of such bullies is so soft. Has anyone else encountered such an attitude? We even involved the LEA and police in the last incident.

and now was SHOT AT! and the culprit gets 10 days?!

FUCK THAT.

are the police involved in this? time to press charges against this perpetrator in criminal court if this occured off school property. if it's on school property, time to apply for Legal Aid and sue the council for failing to adequately ensure the school was safe - and having a gun on the property sure shows they failed in that endeavour.

yep totally agree with EIS
this is CRIMINAL not just a school matter

and get some press involvement maybe, plus contact your MP.

outrageous. Your poor son

this is really awful.when my son was being bullied i aproached the head of the school discipline team and found her more effective than the headteacher.do you know the set up at the school?can you approach the dept that deals with the bullies.

The police arrested the boy, but gave his parents three days to bring him to the station, in which time he managed to get a friend to provide an alibi. So the police will put it forward for prosecution but say it ais unlikely to go ahead as the boy is so young etc etc.
The school say they can't conclusively prove the gun was ever on school property, despite the fact that he took it out of his rucksack seconds after leaving the school gates. He showed it to a few others in the course of the day, but that doesn't seem to be good enough evidence either.

Is moving schools an option if the school are so utterly unsupportive and your son is miserable? This sounds intolerable.

The alibi was disproved when other children came forward to say they had seem him on his own, one child described the pellet cartridge in detail to the head but was told this proved nothing. Another said they saw the gun but retracted the story as this child was actually a friend of the bully and didn't want him to leave the school.

If I was getting nowhere with the school, and prosecution was looking unlikely, I'd be very tempted to go to the press. Local papers initially but with one eye on the nationals as they love this sort of story. Like any organisation schools detest and fear bad publicity, and often prove reactionary in the aftermath. If it would help to get rid of the bully it might be something to consider, but you'd need to think long and hard about how your son would cope with the publicity. Although I guess you could request anonymity on grounds of his age.

the local paper is interested. Don't know what to do.
When it first happened I thought it would all be so easy to sort due to the severity, but not so. It seems there is more help for the bully than the victim.

Zipper your poor boy-what a truly awful experience. My now 13 year old boy has been dreadfully bullied this year, threats made against him, his savings stolen etc.

the school tried to persuade us to involve the police but we didn't want to put him through it. The bully was moved to a different year group, taken off a foreign trip etc but was never actually punished.

If I were you, I'd be wary of involving the papers- i would worry about the impact of the publicity on son.

Have you spoken to the chair of the governing board- they will uually make the head take action.

According to the head, he DID take action! We have found out load more whilst the investigation has gone through, turns out this lad had plans to set fire to our car and also shoot my daughter with the air gun. The way I have seen all this condoned makes it obvious why there is so much yob-culture out there, they can just get away with it. In fact, it would seem that bullies seem to recieve pity, which, may be fitting in some circumstances, but is usually not appropriate.

Change schools.

That was the instant reaction. But now, I truly don't know what to do. He has got a nice little group of friends there and is doing very well academically. Also, it seems, especially to him, that he is being punished by taking him out of the school when the bully stays.

bloody hell the school sounds absolutely useless- have you done all the usual things like quoting their anti bullying policy at them, and what did the LEA advise?

this does sound way beyond bullying if your whole family is being threatened.

have you got support from other parents? Maybe a petition to the head and a consultation with your MP?

And .......once its all sorted....change schools but DO NOT GO QUIETLY!!!!Good luck

bloody hell the school sounds absolutely useless- have you done all the usual things like quoting their anti bullying policy at them, and what did the LEA advise?

this does sound way beyond bullying if your whole family is being threatened.

have you got support from other parents? Maybe a petition to the head and a consultation with your MP?

And .......once its all sorted....change schools but DO NOT GO QUIETLY!!!!Good luck

I think that from what you have said you have already exhausted all avenues of getting the justice you deserve. This is absolutely wrong but it sounds like the current situation. So imo you and your son need to decide whether he is safe enough and there is enough positive stuff happening for him to remain at the school. If so, I don't see any option but to drop this and move forward while keeping an eye out for any further incidents. If not he absolutely has to change schools. It is utterly unfair but I honestly think that if you pursue this further while he is still at the school you will jeopardise his happiness there as much as the bullying has done. I think his opinion counts 100fold here. Does he feel that this has been dealt with or blown over enough for him to feel safe in this school and want to stay there or does he feel utterly wronged (understandably)and want out?

Tried LEA, who are all up in arms that the school won't expel the boy, but don't seem to be achieving anything. We seem to have come against a brick wall, and I don't know why. Because the boy came up with an alibi this makes things less clear cut in the eyes of the police, but no-one disputes the fact that it actually happened. The big issue seems to be proving he had the gun in school, apparently can't expel him if can't prove it. Actually had letter from school explaining this and saying that they don't want to lose my son! It also detailed the anticipation that he will not be safe so we have been told to pick him up from school, which we would do anyway, and told that there would be a SAFE place for him to wait. How ridiculous is this situation?

So if no-one disputes it happened, what are the police doing to investigate it? Or are they just presenting a half-baked case to the CPS?

we HAVE dropped it so to speak. We had no choice. The final insult came when the local councillor suggested that we meet with the family to DISCUSS the situation! What a pile of pap! I just can't believe that it is so hard to make a complaint that potentially embarrasses the school. I feel that too much of this gets brushed under the carpet, and I just wish there was something positive that I could do about it in general.
We DO discuss everything with him, and we have decided to 'see how things go' until the end of term, adn then think about what to do come Sept. Not ideal, but what else can we do? My son is being very mature about the entire issue, I am very proud of him, and I have obviously done a better job bringing him up than the parents of the bully!.

I get the feling with the police that they feel it's unlikely to be put forward as it is a schoolboy issue, he hasn't got any previous record etc, as the culprit is also only 12. The officer who arrested him said that a caution would be best, but as the boy didn't admit it (well, no surprises there) he was bailed and the case goes to CPS. We will wait and see, but are doubtful anything will come of it.

Zipper-

I really feel for you in this situation.
I was bullied quite badly at school and I ended up taking an overdose at 13 coz nobody did anything about the situation.

I'm not trying to scare you. Your boy sounds as if he is handling the situation very well.

But the school needs to be named and shamed. If you sweep it under the carpet, that is exactly what they will do. If it were me I would go straight to the papers.

I know you want to wait and c what happens, but what happens next might be a lot worse.

Good luck! I hope you get things sorted.

Zipper, contact Kidscape here . They are excellent and may well have some additional advice for you. We removed DS1 from school last year (Y6) because of bullying which the school seemed reluctant to address in any way other than by paying lip service to the situation.

You could write to the chair of the board of governors and send a copy to the LEA. There are strict protocols which then have to be followed.

Take your son to the GP and get him to detail how this makes him feel - you presumably have medical notes from the airshot pellets. Let the school know that you are keeping detailed medical notes on the effect of the bullying. Councils are being sued by pupils because they failed to protect them from this sort of behaviour, so I suspect the LEA won't want to envisage a court case.

DS2 was shot at by a boy with a BB gun (same sort of gun?) and the police were really quite proactive in pursuing the child involved. I never found out what happened as the child had moved by the time the police caught up with him.

Seriously, Kidscape are great and will help. They are even prepared to get involved with schools to help them address bullying.

I would absolutely take my son out of school. his safety at least is in serious jeopardy if children can bring firearms into school unchallenged
My ds got suspended from school for two days last week and banned from representing his school in a quiz tournament for bringing a craft knife into school, total stupid mistake on his part but the school have zero tolerance, my ds is also 12, your school sounds like the kids are in charge not the staff. An airgun surely puts everyones safetly at risk.
Local papers, MP, really put some serious pressure on the LEA

Have you asked to see the school's anti-bullying policy? If not, do so and then ensure that the school is following it.

Ask for a meeting with the headteacher and then request a copy of the minutes. That way, if the head makes any promises you will have evidence if he then fails to follow through.

Your son seems to be dealing with the whole nastiness very well, but it is important to keep a close eye on him. DS1 didn't show his emotions much at all and I only found out later than he had considered killing himself, which completely devastated me as I had no idea it had affected him so profoundly.

Did the police go into the class and speak to everyone and ask for witnesses? or interview any of this boy's friends etc.? how do you know what he planned to do (set fire to car etc.)?

The LEA cannot be completely powerless in this case - what about the board of governors - have you spoken to them?

I think it is the sort of story the papers would absolutely love (especially with the very sad recent stabbings/shooting that have taken place) but you do need to take care if you go to the papers because it will bring a lot of publicity to you and your family.

Also, if you do go to the papers, any reports must be careful not to identify the bully as then it will be difficult to get a conviction on the basis that the jury might have been prejudiced by the newspaper reports.

It seems to me that a lot of policy these days is driven by a desire to avoid litigation, so perhaps making a lot of noise about issuing court proceedings might produce a more effective response than anything else.