What do you do when your child seems to an unhappy, frustrated and difficult to please child?

[Mandymoo]

DD is 3.6yrs and is beginning to drive me up the wall. No matter what i do for her, it never seems to be enough. I took her to the local soft play barn this week and made it a real day out for her but she still found things to moan and whinge about. I'm getting to the point where i think "Why do i bother" - i KNOW she's 3 and this is what they're like but dd is sooooooo difficult to please and seems so unhappy. She doesnt particarly like playing with other children, doesnt go off on her own at groups (sticks to me like glue), doesnt even say "hello" to her granny and just generally seems to be an unhappy child. Any advice?

mandy, my dd hates pink and fairies and princesses and I think that lack of interest in what all the others seem to be into also sets her apart. What kind of things does your dd like to do? Where do her passions lie?

Imaginaryfriend - DD is REALLY into the whole pink thing, ballet, princesses etc (much to my horror!). She's so socially "shy" that she wont even say hello or goodbye to her grandparents - I've tired talking to her and explaining that its polite to reply when spoken to etc but she just says "I know mummy, my words just get stuck" - what can you say to that?

If we go to the soft play area, she wont go off and play, either myself or dh has to accompany her at all times. If a friend comes to play with her, she whines because they want to play with her then when they get fed up and start playing on their own, she whines that they're playing with her toys! It just seems easier sometimes to stay at home and be done with it but i know thats not the answer. It just seems so hard when other children seem to have fun and be happy (like children are) and dd is scowling and complaining.

Did you ever read the book "raising happy children"? I haven't read it but maybe it might have some good tips on the happiness issue?

I think you don't need to worry about the social interactions stuff at age 3 - it will all be very different by the time she starts school. I had similar concerns about my dd at preschool for a while - then she suddenly found a best friend - a boy - and it all changed. Let her stick to you if she wants to, eventually she will feel happy to go it alone, and in all likelihood will quite possibly be one of the most outgoing children in her class by the time she is in reception!

mm, they do sound different in other ways, our girls. Your dd sounds incredibly shy per se. I was very like this as a child and was actually awful at school until I was about 6 or 7 when I made a friend who I clung to like glue! I spent all the Reception year not saying a word in school apparently - the teachers were forever calling my mum in.

My dd's not like that, she will speak, especially to adults. She just doesn't seem to fit in with other children at ALL. And I get the feeling they don't really take to her. Or rather, they try but get sick of her shunning them.

Mine hates the whole pink thing which doesn't help. She likes animals and strange things like aliens, snowmen and 'friendly monsters'!

mousie, I didn't worry about the school stuff until I saw just how sophisticated other girls of dd's age were ...

oh and by the way, soft play places create so many tears in dd I rarely ever go anymore.

A lot of stuff on this thread is really striking a chord with me.

Unfortunately my DD is nearly 7 and has been like this since about 3ish.

I ALWAYS find myself thinking that she is very unlike a "normal" child. She is very rarely happy go lucky. Very different to how I remember being as a child.

She isnt particularly shy although can be, but does the not saying hello thing quite often

She is very popular at school and has lots of friends and converses really well with adults. In fact her sullen attitude is reserved solely for me.

I find it exhausting, upsetting and disappointing to be honest. I feel desperate for her to be different but sad that I would want to change her.

She is very, very bright and very sensitive (related to the dot of water on dress story) - with DD if her sock seams arent perfectly lined or her shoes fastened with equal tightness all hell breaks loose!