22 month old son not talking and doesn't always respond to name

[FirstTimeMummy82]

Hi everyone,
This is the first time I have posted something on here. I usually just read everyone elses posts and I don't come on that often.
I am really worried about my son's development. He is 22 months old, he is my first baby, but he isn't talking. He says the odd word like mama, step, train, up. He doesn?t say the same words over and over again though and he doesn?t respond to everyone when they say his name. I think he is choosing not to respond as he does respond to me and my mum (sometimes!) He definitely isn?t deaf as he turns around when the tv or other noises happen. I?m panicking he has autism. My husband and mum both think he definitely doesn?t have it as he is really happy little boy. He?s very affectionate and loves cuddles and sitting on your knee. He plays with his cousins and he loves to be tickled and when you stop he actually takes your hand and puts it back on his tummy so you do it again. My mum who looks after him quite a lot as I go to work (she used to be a primary school teacher) says she doesn?t think he has autism because he?s so sociable and affectionate and he understands what she says. If he goes to do something he shouldn?t and you say ah ah no, then he stops. We?ve taught him to do high fives and he loves playing peek a boo. If you don?t know he is in the house and you call him, he?ll come out to show you where he is. He?s also has really good concentration levels, for instance, he will sit for ages reading books. Ha obviously he?s not actually reading them(!) but he looks at all the pictures and that and carefully turns the pages. My friend?s children who are around the same age just destroy them and get bored after a few minutes. But it?s embarrassing when my friends try and talk to him and say his name ?cause he just ignores them! He started nursery about 2 months ago, he only goes for half a day a week (there's no more availabilty at the mo) and he also goes to a playgroup once a week and since that he?s been babbling loads. The thing is, when I Googled it (which I know you shouldn?t do!) he should have 50 words in his vocabulary by now, he should be pointing at things, he should be bringing objects like toys over to me and he should definitely respond to his name. He has his 2 year evaluation coming up so I was just going to wait for that but now I?m thinking of taking him to our GP as I?m so worried he?s got autism. I know they?ll say he?s definitely displaying signs of autism though and I read it?s not so much the odd things they do (he loves wheels, he bounces loads, looks out of the sides of his eyes) as all kids do weird things, it?s more the things they AREN?T doing. He?s such a happy, affectionate, content child, could it really be autism? I play with him all the time and encourage him talk but I?m going to start doing this even more. I always know what he wants so I just give him things like milk when I know he wants it so I need to start making him ask for it (but he just kicks off!). And I sing to him a lot. He knows the actions to ?if you?re happy and you know it? and claps his hands and stamps his feet. Also he loves Baby TV but I?ve stopped putting the telly on because he LOVES it (too much) and doesn?t pay any attention to you when it?s on. The thing is he knows how to work it now and I?ll hear the telly go on and he?s put it on himself lol. I?ve done a list of the things he does and doesn?t do below which I?ll take to the doctors.

Things he does:

Peek a boo
High five
Jumps a lot
Walks on his toes
Pretends to be blind (screws up his eyes and walks around with his arms out)
Laughs a lot
Puts his arms out to be picked up
Says the odd words
Affectionate
Likes to be cuddled and likes to sit on your knee
Plays with his cousins and likes being around other kids
Claps
Sings
Babbles
LOVES the telly (too much)
Has a temper sometimes where he clenches his fists and shakes
Looks at the corner of his eyes
Gives you his hand when you ask for it
Loves being tickled

Things he doesn?t do:

He doesn?t talk
He doesn?t respond to his name to most people
He doesn?t look at everyone

I was wondering if anyone else is going through the same thing with their child?

A very worried mummy xx

@Nadi77

I really hope that you'll see this message and reply... What happened with your son? We're almost at the same situation atm.

Hi there, My son is now 10 years old and I have updated this thread with updates all the way through. He was diagnosed with ASD but I've updated our journey if you can read back xx

@Jemjems89

Thank you for your thread! My eldest has just turned 4 and we're still waiting for an autism assessment but it's pretty much acknowledged by us and by his nursery he has ASD. I'm also now worrying about my almost 18 month old as his eye contact has reduced massively over last couple of months. And although he points, he doesn't point consistently and his words also seem to have dropped so I think I'll be trying to go through the appropriate people sooner with him. But your post is so reassuring at how well he's doing, it gives me hope that these 2 will be ok in the long term

I'm really glad you feel reassured by my posts. It is always a worrying time at the beginning but early intervention is key and I'm sure everything will be fine xx

Hey everyone. This is the first time I'm writing in a forum because I have no one to ask. A very worried first time mom here. I have a 23 month old who doesn't say any word. He doesn't point. Instead he hand leads if he wants anything. He doesn't dance to music. He's very very affectionate, loves cuddling or kisses me without even asking sometimes. Good eye contact most of the time. He grew up in lockdown so he didn't have much opportunity to socialize with others. Been going to nursery for few hours for past two months.

He can imitate some of my facial expressions like blowing raspberries, playing with tongue. He repeats if I papa and dada but couldn't repeat anything else. He's keen to learn words. Keeps bringing me stuffs and raises it over his head and I tell him what it is. He does this quite often. Loves playing with car lying on the floor. He doesn't play alone much. He likes to involve me or my husband in his activities. Like if we are drawing, he gives me his crayon and asks me to draw by hand leading. His babbling changes once a while. Sometimes mama nana and sometimes papa dada !

He also imitates actions like rubbing Vicks, turning on dishwasher. If he watches me do something for a while then he tries to do it by himself. He loves reading books a lot. Keeps bringing it and makes us read.

He understands lot of my commands like bring me your water cup, close the door, bring me your ball, turn the lights off, eat, come here, bring me your shoes. If I ask him to point a color or an animal on his book, he can do it. He can point to body parts too.

He can do some gestures like clapping, high five, blow a kiss, giving, reaching, he learned to wave bye bye recently but it's more like shaking his entire arm. He communicates with me in a way he knows how to. Like hand leading, eye contact, grunting. When I don't understand him he gets frustrated.

When I'm angry or when I'm crying he comes and makes me kiss him or he kisses me. His gross motor skills and fine motor skills are fairly good. Can climb, kick, eat with spoon, build blocks.

My main concern is he doesn't point at all. If I say, what do you want? Touch and show me. He will touch the object sometimes. Sometimes follows point. Mostly no. No single words yet. Responds to name as long as he's not busy doing something. Sometimes he doesn't care. He likes spinning wheels and playing with cars lying on floor. He sometimes walks on toes but stops when I say no. Loves watching TV but didn't imitate anything from TV. Could he be autistic? I'm so worried. His nursery people are concerned about his language delay but not concerned he's autistic because they feel he doesn't have any autistic traits. They said he's playing beside other kids but he's not interacting with them.

He was born 3 weeks early. Could that be the reason for language delay? Thanks a lot for reading such a long post.

As a father myself your post really got to me, me and my wife is really concerned as our son has the same symptoms. I know its been a long time but can you update me on your current situation or if your child has been diagnosed with autism

Hi@FirstTimeMummy82 ,
Thanks for post.my baby is having similar symptoms like your son. How well your baby is doing now? Does he responds to other people, He replies to their questions?

Regards,
Madhu

Hi Madhu,

My son just turned 11 years old and he is doing well. His speech plateaued a bit over the last couple of years and he can still only speak in basic sentences however he is able to communicate what he wants. He still can't have proper conversations but he is very responsive. He is fully aware of his surroundings and makes great eye contact. As mentioned previously his understanding kicked in when we started ABA and he understands everything now. His behaviour has massively improved. He hardly ever has meltdowns (the only thing that kick starts them is when he thinks we're telling his little sister off - a lot of the time we're not and we're just calling her name but this upsets him.) They are brilliant with one another, he now seeks her out to play and for affection. He loves kisses and cuddles. We have just got back from Mexico. 16 of us went and my son was the best behaved out of all the children. He was an absolute dream in the airport and on the long flight. He is such a happy little boy. He loves the sea, sand and pools so was in his element. We used to have an issue with him finishing a task he loved but if we tell him it's finished now he fully accepts it which is brilliant. His toileting was always a bit hit and miss. He has been fine for years doing number ones in the toilet but his number twos were an issue. This problem was solved about a year ago and the other day I found him on the toilet and he'd done a number two (normally we just have to guess when he needs it and take him but he had done it on his own accord this time which was a breakthrough.) He loves being around his older cousin and his mates and they are all brilliant with him. (Touch wood) I am yet to come across children being mean to him. Even on holiday the American kids were trying to get him involved in playing in the pool.

We are still trying to get him in this amazing ABA school. We lost the tribunal last year however we are doing the whole thing all over again. He is due to go to secondary school in September so fingers crossed he gets in and starts there in September. All the state special needs schools are rubbish around here and the only development he has achieved has come from the team we have outsourced. It's all fun and games!

My husband and I went backpacking around Australia, Indonesia and South East Asia when we were in our 20's and I've decided I want to do a world tour, the four of us. So we're going to take my son and daughter backpacking. I just need to save up a load of money and figure out how my husband and I can get the time off work. But we will do it.

As mentioned previously, my son is the most severe in his class but he hasn't hindered our lives in the slightest. He is well travelled, loves eating out, loves festivals, weekends away, he is happy, sociable and loves being around other adults and children. You can tell a mile off he's autistic, he still makes mad sounds and things like that but everyone loves him and we don't even flinch any more.

He is a proper dude. x

Hi Shijo,

If you are concerned I would go to your GP. They will get the ball rolling with having your child assessed. It's a hard thing to do as you are hoping nothing is wrong, but if something is wrong, early intervention is key. If nothing is wrong, bonus and you have peace of mind. x

Hi Turan,
If you read back on the previous pages I have given detailed updates from when my son was 2 till now. I have just done a recent update as my son is 11 now. I hope you find my updates useful. He got diagnosed with ASD, yes.

In case you're not aware, I have provided detailed updates from when he was a baby till now (he's 11). If you scroll back through this thread, across the previous pages, you'll see all my updates.

Hi@FirstTimeMummy82

That's very good to hear😊.At age you started ABA program for your child.

Thanks & Regards,
Madhu Kiran.

Hi Madhu,
I think he was 8 years old when we first started him on ABA. I would have done it sooner though if I knew about it. It took ages to source the tutors, they are few and far between sadly. ABA is just another way of teaching your child so the younger the better.

does your child respond to his name or make an eye contact? my son is also similar to the op and would like to know your experience

Hi @Esse321
does your child respond to his name or make an eye contact? my son is also similar to the op and would like to know your experience

Did your child respond to his name?

Thanks

Thanks@FirstTimeMummy82

Hi @FirstTimeMummy82 this has been so good to read. My son is 21 months and very similar to the child you described at the start of this thread. I’m filled with worry about it all but this was so helpful to know that it’s not the end of the world even if he does have ASD. Is there any more of an update with your son? Or anything you’d recommend at this age?

Hi firsttimemummy82 I have same issues with my son his 3 year and 5 month I'm really really worried I'm thinking to book an appointment with gp my son he doesn't talk his babbling in on tears

Hi, I'm glad my posts can bring you some sort of reassurance. He is 12 years old now. He's a funny little man, he does things to make us laugh. We can take him anywhere and he's no trouble. His melt downs stopped a while ago, he'll still kick off occasionally but no where near as much as when he was younger. His speech is still stuck at the basic sentences. We lost our last tribunal to get him in the ABA School we want him to go to. But we have appealed to the Upper Tribunal (we did that last time too) so fingers crossed they allow us to do it again. This was our third tribunal. We are considering moving house as our Local Authority just won't budge on this.
I would say make an appointment with your GP if you're worried and get the ball rolling because things are taking even longer now so the sooner you start the better. And if it turns out he doesn't have ASD, bonus. I got our son a speech therapist when he was 2 and that made a world of difference. The NHS one wouldn't provide us with sessions so I had to go private.
Good luck with everything.

Hello, try not to worry. It's hard not knowing but I would take him to the GP and get the ball rolling with finding out if there is something wrong. If he does require support, the sooner he gets this the better.

Thank you so much for the update! Glad to know your boy is doing okay. I’m so sad to hear about you losing your tribunal but I’ll keep my fingers crossed that this one is successful. So sad that a local authority is allowed to just refuse :( My son is now 26 months and waiting for speech and language therapy. It seems like a constant list of things to chase up and people to schedule appointments with but people seemed to take me a bit more seriously once he hit two and still wasn’t meeting the milestones. Guess it’s just a constant game of wait and see how they develop which I’m slowly getting used to.

Thank you, that's kind and you're very welcome. That's good that your son is on the road to receiving SLT. My son is on the severe end of the spectrum and we still do everything we want to do; holidays, meals out, weekends away, visiting friends. Everyone just accepts him for the bonkers little dude he is and (touch wood) we've never experienced children being mean to him, on the contrary, kids have been very good with him. He's a happy little boy, always smiling so we're very lucky in that respect. ASD isn't as big a deal as it used to be, so many kids are on the spectrum now.
Yes definitely re - the appointments and chasing but you'll get in to the swing of things and hopefully it all really helps your son.

Us mums just have to keep on truckin' 😊

Hi FirstTimeMummy82 I have followed your post for some time now and loved reading the progress your young man had made. my little boy is now 29 months he does not say many words he will say sayings more like no no no or go go go and they are not regular. He hand leads to request everything although he did start pointing a bit at objects of interest at 26 months a bit before that he never pointed at all he still doesn’t use it as regularly. He can wave bye and things but is very selective when doing so he won’t do it in response to someone else necessarily but just when he sees fit. When he was younger we thought he was deaf because we could call and call him there would be no response. Of recent he has started holding a phone to his ears and pretend play a bit my question is did your little boy ever do this because I have always been told that a child on the autism spectrum wouldn’t do this so that makes me think he just can’t be. We have seen a speech therapist nhs and private both say he has social communication differences my private speech therapist says she is unsure if he doesn’t understand or just chooses to not acknowledge what you are asking. He has been referred to a paediatrician although there is such a long wait all I do is think he can’t be autistic because he like your little boy is so loving and almost social in a way but he still can’t really follow simple instructions and if you asked him to show you a dog or something in a book he has no idea or if you say where is daddy he doesn’t acknowledge. The nursery have obviously noticed he doesn’t talk although they don’t see some of the angry behaviours we get at home when he is getting frustrated. Hope your tribunal goes well.

Hi saw your post about your son, I have the exactly same worries that you had. All the symptoms are perfectly same, it felt that I have written that post. I am curious to know does your son have autism ? I hope not. Please reply

Hello, sorry to hear about your son. I know it’s really scary to be going through this. I wish I could give you an update but we’re still experiencing the same worries. My son has just had grommets fitted, as we had seen an ENT consultant a few times and he was experiencing lots of ear infections. I was really hoping that this could explain a lot of his symptoms, but the surgeon on the day said that his ears didn’t actually look too bad when she put the grommets in so it is just a waiting game now to see if there’s any improvement. My son is now 31 months old and still doesn’t talk. Although he does seem to engage with us more than before and his eye contact has improved.

We have also had a speech and language assessment appointment a few months ago and they agree he does have a language delay but didn’t say much else as they were waiting for his grommets appointment before they will assess again.

I will update here if he improves now that the grommets are fitted. It seems like so long ago I wrote this original post, but really it hasn’t been that much time so I’m always hopeful.