So upset can anyone help

[INLOVEWITHEXSQUADDIE]

My DD is nearly two, she can be lovely but has never been a very affectionate child. All this week she has been a nightmare, kicking off at the slightest thing, hitting DH and i. A few times this week i have been at the end of my tether and really had a go at her. Not a responsible thing to do i know!! i really regret this but she has pushed me too far.

Now she won't have anything to do wth me at all and is just terrible. I love her desparately and want to be close to her but she just won't have anything to do with me or her dad. She is being naughty at nursery, and is lashing out at other children.

I just don't know what to do. It is so upsetting

I'm sure shw won't, we all sya and do things that we regret. As long as she knows that you love her I'm sure that will never happen. I bet in a couple of months you'll be looking back on this and thinking I'm glad that's over with!! Look forward to what's to come....because over the next year she'll start growing into a lovely little thing who'll make you LOL!

Stay positive - remember it's only phase - and try to stay cool! Let me know how you go.

Hi, Just read your thread. So sorry to hear what's been happening, must make you feel awful. My DS does the whole whinging following around thing too but when you actually go to him kicks and screams. He does have good moments to though which makes up a bit for it.

If things don't improve you could try ring your health visitor. I know sometimes you don't want outsiders in home but I had really bad problem recently with DS banging head deliberately to get attention and looking like I was neglecting him - or worse. Anyway, HV really helpful and supportive, they've seen it all before. I think sometimes it just helps for someone to look in from the outside and give an objective opinion.

Take care of yourself too - go out with some friends and have some time off, a happy mummy is always better than a sad mummy and it's important to take time out to get perspective.

There is a sharp increase in tantrums (frequency and intensity) as my DD hits the 'terrible twos' phase (she's now 2.7). I'd noticed however that she is more prone to crankiness esp when she's tired/ going down with something (and then her appetite's poor but still hungry, etc, viscious cirle). I truly believe that sleep/rest is very important (esp quality, so dark, quiet room if poss) and routine helps a great deal (tweaked as DD grows).

It can be very trying and difficult to remain composed as the tantrum escalates (it can pierce through to my very soul!), but it does seem that my DD would calm down faster if a gentler approach is used eg. using her favourite teddy to ask what's the matter, or distracting her by pretending to have spotted something across the room. (Similarly for when I want her to move forward at a quicker pace, eg. by running away and getting her to chase/catch me or encouraging her to step on the manhole covers further and further on.) The books also say that gaining negative attention is better getting no attention at all, so maybe your DD's learnt that in nursery (my DD hardly got any cuddles when she was previously in nursery as she was 'good')? Perhaps also try to catch yourself not to pay her any attention when she's playing up and instead shower her with positive attention when she's good? Eg praising her every 10mins when she's playing nicely, etc.

It's easy to forget that DD's only 2, not 20 and while she's getting better at talking/understanding/doing things for herself, she still needs a lot of guidance (with patience!), encouragement and 'tolerance/forgiveness'..for want of better words.. It's also quite a challenge to be the adult/role model and having to keep a rein on my evoked negative emotions in front of DD... so sometimes, I just leave the room and let DH take the brunt of it instead.

Hope this helps.

Just wondering how she was when you picked her up ilxs?

I can see now why you are taking it so hard that she is having these outbursts.

I honestly think you can afford to relax. The very fact that you are aware of the deficencies in the way you were parented and are resolving to do better means you are atually breaking that cycle.

The tantrumming has only just started, and if she was porrly, and you were tending to her every whim, she is quite likely to now be demanding that as standard .

I hope you have a more relaxed w/e.

Ilex, she sounds like she is completely overtired. Even my 4 yr old will behave dreadfully if he hasn't slept properly. Is she only sleeping 10-7 every night with no day time sleep? Have you tried to bring back her bedtime?

Try not to take her outbursts personally - I know it's hard not. However, if she is not eating properly and she's not sleeping properly and she's hit the dreaded 2s then it's probably a combination of the three that's making her behave like this.

She has been a little angel this weekend. It is like she is not the same child. Cannot get over it.