Helping a newborn sleep

[Angelico]

Hi all,

Our baby is 10 days old and a great feeder and reasonably good sleeper... BUT she has a 'psycho' stage once or twice a day where she just fights going to sleep madly. She will doze and then scream madly on and off for a couple of hours. This is manageable when she does it in afternoon or evening but horrible if it hits at midnight...

Some of it seems to be wind and Infacol has helped. Was also reading Baby Whisperer and she suggests keeping baby awake for half an hour after feed - but sometimes this seems to make things worse.

Any strategies? Was considering swaddling but she escapes from a muslin or blanket. Anyone tried a Miracle Blanket or Swaddle Pod? Any other tips? I am the first to admit I am completely shit at sleep deprivation and when she has her 'mad two hours' after midnight I feel desperate...!

Thanking you in advance for any suggestions!

I remember that stage with our sleep-fighting little demon :-) I tried everything to get her to sleep. This is what I found worked:

If she falls asleep while feeding let her sleep as sleep begets sleep. The more she sleeps earlier on the day the more she'll nap later on and then at night. It's absolutely true.

Try to get her to sleep about 1-2 hours after she first wakes up. DD was dead easy to get to sleep at this time and it REALLY helps with naps later on.

DD would only fall asleep on us (still only does at 7 months) by rocking her and patting her back at the same time to mimic the movement in the womb and heartbeat.

Shhhing really helps and using a swaddling blanket from amazon so she can't get out. Both again mimic the womb.

Walking in the pram or driving in the car sometimes helped. Also walking around the house with her in a baby carrier was an excellent way of getting her to sleep. We did that loads before she was 3 months.

You have been using a dummy? I am firmly in the 'gods gift' camp regarding dummies.

We thought that DD had colic due to crying/screaming in the evenings. While she was on her back, holding her legs in the air and circling to release any trapped wind seemed to work. Although looking back I think it was over-tiredness.

After 3/4 months it all died down and now for some silly reason (because she needed us so much?), I kind of miss all that. Maybe I am getting nostalgic for when everything was so new and exciting/nervy with the oxytocin and adrenline in combination. Or because it felt so special with a newborn and that won't ever happen again. Sorry getting silly now.

It will get better for all of you :-)

But if it doesn't get better go to the health visitor/baby nurse/doctor and really badger them about reflux or possible cows milk/lactose intolerance. I have friends' of friends whose babies screamed loads and they were always palmed off with 'babies always cry' for months! I think the opposite - that babies cry for a reason, but most of the time it is either solvable or managable, if it isn't there is something that needs to be investigated.

Aaah gloucester that's so sweet

I'd agree re checking with HV if it's months on - but from my bitter experience of four or five, their standard answer to sleep avoiders is cry it out That (IMO cruel) "solution" is not recommended for babies under six months so it made me so angry to come up against the same response every time. Turns out our dd has silent reflux so if we'd have been nasty enough to try it, she'd have got herself into a quite understandable frenzy every night. Personally, like Gloucester kinda says, I don't think it's spoiling a baby to get them to sleep however they can - if that's on you, so be it. They're not like this forever.... Xx

my sympathies (is this your first?) the demented crying of a newborn is a total shocker! My view now having had a first baby experience that sounded identical and now a second, is that they are simply too young for any sort of routine, sleep most definitely begets sleep, so do whatever it takes at all times to get them to sleep. These are days to survive as much as enjoy! When our second girl was this age she slept pretty much exclusively on us, so we took turns to nap when she did, which was pretty much every other hour. That turned into two and three hour sleeps through the night (still on us) and at around 10 weeks we swaddled and enticed her to sleep next to us on her back. 12 weeks bingo sleeping through the night and now at 17 weeks unswaddled and 13 hour nights. My point there is all babies start jumpy and waily but quickly calm down and become sleepier- Id say less is more (we "rocked" ie shook our first one for hours, with hindsight kept the poor soul awake!)- whereas the second one we just got dark, calm, and cosy, about twice as often as you think is necessary. Good luck, and know that it WILL get better before too long xx

Thanks so much ladies :) Really appreciate all the replies! Have bought a few of the recommended books although bizarrely a couple say the same thing about waking baby up. She is having her unsettled stage at the minute but is lying peacefully in Dh's arms dozing on and off. Don't mind her doing this once or twice a day as long as she keeps settling the rest of the time.

TBH I've realised from reading books that she is actually an excellent baby! We're two weeks in now and from the start she's been going 4-5 hours between feeds and sleeps for 3-4 hours at a time, occasionally 5 hours - but is still managing to put on weight (and suck the blubber out of me :o). Think my expectations are becoming more realistic. It also helps that the worst of CS pain is over - think pain plus tiredness = lethal combination.

Am still a bit nervous about her getting too dependant on any method - swaddling, getting held etc so as long as most of her naps are self-induced I'm happy enough.

Wow, she is a good baby!

Honestly, though, as the last poster said, you shouldn't worry about whether you're teaching sleep associations/habits at this very young age. You cannot spoil a baby with too much love - all she needs at this age is you, cuddles, daddy, cuddles, food, cuddles, sleep and cuddles and when she gets them, you're telling her you're there and she can trust/rely on you. It's only at 4ish months that they can start to learn habits so just enjoy these early days and don't think about self settling/soothing etc.

Have bought a few of the recommended books although bizarrely a couple say the same thing about waking baby up are these books evidence based though Angelico? When looking for information on babies, I try to make sure that the information is evidence based and not just some (probably childless) persons opinion.

Think she does sound like an excellent baby. Sleeping for 5 hours is classed as sleeping through, although it might not seem like that to you.

Don't get too hung up on how she gets to sleep either, like I said before my SIL followed the Baby Whisperer to the letter and my DN still wakes at age 6, I fed both of mine to sleep and they are both great sleepers .