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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Go with the flow or a routine?

28 replies

Thomcat · 03/03/2006 19:57

DD2 is 10 weeks old. We don't have a routine as such and I breastfeed her on demand. Thought I might start introducing a little bit of a more structured routine. I think my main reason for doing this is so that when I have to go back to work in 3 months time my mum and friend who will share the childcare know where they are with her and it would be fairer on them.

Not entirely sure how I'll go about it though.
Lottie was totally unique and a dream child, slightly unnatural really but that was down to her having Down's syndrome. This time round with DD2 she's different and so am I. Not sure if a routine is what we want but if it is, not sure how I shoukld go about it.
Any advice?

OP posts:

lapsedrunner · 03/03/2006 19:59

Routine, routine, routine...believe me you'll be grateful later

Pruni · 03/03/2006 20:01

Start with bath, bottle bed at a certain time. Then take it from there. The days will start to follow a pattern from that, ime (only).

spidermama · 03/03/2006 20:01

Flow, flow, flow. You'll all be better off in the long run, especially her.

RedRidingHood · 03/03/2006 20:01

Did a routine thing based on baby whisperer (ish) going by rough feeding times - made it much easier when I went to work.

Mind you dd very lively and spirited so getting her so she knew what was coming next seemed to calm her down.

DumbledoresGirl · 03/03/2006 20:04

I don't know how you cn exist without a routine of sorts now that you have 2 children. Going with the flow might work with the first child, but by the time the second comes along, surely there are certain routines already in place and I found it easier to get the baby to fit in with these as quickly as possible (don't mean to sound like everything was rigid as in Victorian times, but the baby had to fit in to some extent.)

donnie · 03/03/2006 20:07

routine, definitely, especially if, as Dumbledores girl says, the 2nd child has to fit in with the first to an extent.
My dd2 is 10 months old and I began a routine at around 8 - 10 weeks - I had to, since I had to do things with dd1, take and collect from nursery etc. As you say, if you are going back to work then those looking after her will really need an established routine they can continue.

Original poster

Thomcat · 03/03/2006 20:07

LOL at the difference of opionio with lapsedrunner and spidermama.
I do like the go with the flow way and am very happy with it. If I could stay at home and not go back to work then I'd crack on with the go with the flow but feel that trying to look at introducing a bit of a routine might be fairer on others when I go back to work???????????
But can you even go there when bubs is demand breastfed?

I'll have to wean her off boob during the day anyway when I go back to work so shall I just leave any sort of routine till then?

OP posts:

Original poster

Thomcat · 03/03/2006 20:09

sorry i took so long to post that others have posted since.

So i go back to work in 3 months, how do I start giving her a routine. Does it mean that I'll have to let her cry and stuff?

OP posts:

hewlettsdaughter · 03/03/2006 20:10

I went back to work when dd2 was 6 months - hadn't established a routine (beyond the school run). Things worked out.

hewlettsdaughter · 03/03/2006 20:11

dd2? I mean dd! (first was a boy).

popsycalindisguise · 03/03/2006 20:11

Thomcat

My ds1 is 1 on Monday and I totally know where you are coming from. I was desperate for some sort of routine - also as I was going to be returnign to work.

But no matter what I did, he was definitely a 'demand' baby (demanding is more apt perhaps!!!)

I went with the flow and tbh I could not have done it any different.

I do remember though at around 10 weeks I started a baby massage class and this coincided (not naive enough to think it caused......but....) with him settling and becoming a little more structured.

The first thing i did to try to get more structure was sort out a bed time. actually put him to bed at 7ish - even if he was getting up for feeds. and it sort of went from there

popsycalindisguise · 03/03/2006 20:13

To go back to the work thing....are you happy to wean her off the boob during the day? I can talking about expressing til it is (quite literlly) coming out of my ears :)

hoxtonchick · 03/03/2006 20:14

i have gone with the flow with both of mine, it's worked pretty well so far (ds is 4, dd is 8 months). couldn't bear to be routine-bound, it would drive all of us loopy.

i am still breast-feeding dd, & working 2 days a week. the only thing i'd reccommend is thinking about introducing a bottle (with expressed milk). we had a big panic when she wouldn't take one, though it's worked out fine in the end.

Original poster

Thomcat · 03/03/2006 20:15

Happy Birthday to him for Monday. What do you have planned, if anything?

I think what I might do, to answer my own question (!!), is maybe to keep a track of what she does each day for a week or so and then see if I can work a routne around what she naturally wants to do anyway. Does that make sense?

OP posts:

Original poster

Thomcat · 03/03/2006 20:17

Think I'm happy to wean her off during the day tbh. Think I might like to be a bit selfish again by 6 months and not totally enamoured by expressing in the loo at work etc.

OP posts:

popsycalindisguise · 03/03/2006 20:18

Thomcat - I did that too...the kkepping a record thingy....

Original poster

Thomcat · 03/03/2006 20:18

And if I introduce a semi sort of routine does it mean that at some point I'll have to just leave her to cry? Not sure I'm up for that tbh.

OP posts:

RedRidingHood · 03/03/2006 20:21

No Thomcat you don't - you just need to work out what the cry means still - good idea to start a few weeks before you go back to work though. have a look at \link{www.babywhisperer.com\here}

Never let my dd cry herself to sleep but obviously there are different schools of thought this worked for me.

Original poster

Thomcat · 03/03/2006 20:24

Thanks RRH. The lin k didn't work though

OP posts:

popsycalindisguise · 03/03/2006 20:24

i dont do crying
so no
:)

RedRidingHood · 03/03/2006 20:25

sorry !

\link{http://www.babywhisperer.com\here}

Original poster

Thomcat · 03/03/2006 20:30

Glad to hear a routine doesn't have to = ... what do they call it...controlled crying.

OP posts:

matnanplus · 03/03/2006 20:36

I would start by jotting down things like feeds sleeps and active time and see how is looks.

It is easy to find time running away and it could be that a few tweaks here and there and you have a workable routine for you, your dds and your helpers.

I would introduce a bottle of ebm sooner rather than later.

I find playtex a good system with breast feeding mums.

i am often called in to help mum's with breast babies, to help them get into a routine with feeding and sleeping, i don't let the babies cry, but if we are doing 3 hourly feeds and baby is hungry at 2 hours then a 10 min snack and a proper feed at the routine time works well as does going out in pram before baby wakes, the motion helps them sleep ready to wake when you get home in time for feed.

I have found that all my breast babies from 6 weeks have been able to go 3 hourly, with the odd snack in the early days.

Hope that helps

Original poster

Thomcat · 03/03/2006 20:39

Thank you for that

OP posts:

popsycalindisguise · 03/03/2006 20:52

Another bottle recommendation
MAM ultivent teats

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