Second and third time MUms - what do you cringe with embarassment about with dd/ds1?

[codswallop]

I cringe at

slave to routine - to the detriment of our lives

Taking four adults out to take one baby to the park

taking the baby on pointless trips to places he couldnt appreciate

Being anal about baby food

I would say that round here (rural) the really loaded landed gentry types are really scruffy and see designer stuff as a little high street....

I am not one of those but when I see gimped up kids at playgroup = ie little boys who can barely walk because of those enormous jeans and Nike or whatever trainers I do think that the mUms are rough

there I have said it

I buy my children spectacularly cheap clothes, from Primark and suchlike. They seem to have survived so far. And look, incidentally, very pretty.

I love dressing up dd and spend too much money on her clothes - she doesn't care tuppence what she wears but I just love to dress her up (I was exactly the same with dolls as a child, some of us never grow up...)

I think dressing kids nicely can be an expression of how much you care about them - other people express this in different ways, that's all...

LOL Zebra, are you sure that's not my DH you've got there, my DH dresses our kids by shutting his eyes and rumaging about the wardrobe, pulling out the closest thing to trousers and a top (DS1 almost five has been known to be wearing DS2, 18 month's trousers when DH has been in charge ). I find it easier with boys mind you, less colours to co-ordinate, not sure how I would get on with a whole host of lilacs, pinks, lemons etc, etc, not to mention flowery patterns and gingham checks

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I think I might get the prize for scruffiest children on one occasion then - coming back from parent's house, which is a 300 mile drive, I struggled in freezing temps. lashing rain and howling gale to get ds (2 and a half) and dd (then 2 months) out of the car and into the service station halfway home. Having got into the service station, thought (I'll just change dd's nappy) - DISASTER! Poo exploded everywhere. All over all dd's clothes. Looked in changing bag - no spare clothes. Couldn't face going back to car, unloading luggage to find new outfit, so ds had to donate his jumper. We then went to the Little Chef to get them some tea, and I'm sure we got some strange looks as ds was in a vest and trousers, and dd was in a jumper 2 years too big for her, and nothing else.

Obviously this is not my normal behaviour!

Of course it's ok if you want to spend a lot on your kids' appearance, MariaLuisa. It's your money, after all.... I just think it's a bit silly if A) money is tight (it is with us); B) your kids are too young to care and; C) their playmates are all too young to care, too! I have always said I'll be willing to spend more on my kids' clothes when they are old enough that they care or it otherwise matters.

I think what Codswallop said is spot on, about how the wealthier you are, quite often the less you care about "looking good", or what other people think. The upperclass are the Green Wellie Brigade in this country, aren't they? Wasn't there a recent survey that concluded that "rich" people are often the most miserly and hunt hardest for a bargain, whereas poorer people are more likely to spend impulsively, and spend more on short-life consumer items (like clothes) partly because they're embarrassed about not having as much wealth but don't want that fact to be obvious to everyone else?

Ok, fully agree that in the country the landed gentry types have very badly dressed kids, my mum used to have fits at the number of kids at my rather la-di-dah pre-prep who had grey vests and holes in their socks. But then, my family are a long way from English landed gentry!! But then the men take pride in wearing their fathers' dinner jackets IME. And yes, also know exactly what you mean about the rough mums who have their kids logoed down to their socks. But that's not the kind of "co-ordinated"clothes I meant. Similarly was not suggesting that the clothes had to be expensive. It just bugs me that their seems to be a peculiarly middle-class english thing that says it's ok and somehow better to consistently dress your kids in mismatched, old clothes, frequently with holes that are usually too big or too small. See your local Steiner school for shining examples of what i mean.

To further clarify the £50 skirts for a 2 year old...Bisnonna means great-granny, she is 85. She has had an amazingly hard life. Her italian family disowned her for marrying Mallorquin grandfather. Abuelito lost pretty much everything as Franco confiscated the family assets. She ended up in the U.K. but wasn't reconciled with her family for about 20 years. She spoils my DD because she lost a DD herself, stillborn with down's at 34wks. As my dad points out, if my grandfather was alive, the indulgence would be even worse.

Anyway, just to finalize, not suggesting that people who put their kids in mismatched clothes are bad parents, it's simply that as happens so often, it seems to be considered ok to sneer at people who take care (for want of a better term) with their kids' appearance and it really gets on my nerves.

ML I love the whole dressing up thing. I adore dressing my two dd's in matching outfits!! Twice as difficult

However I do buy mainly pink clothes, therefore we can get away with changing top or bottoms as we go. Also if we are not going out then I don't bother.

My dd 4 1/2 knows that certain shades of pink work together, and you don't wear red and pink at the same time!! She defineatly take afetr me. Both of them (4 and 2) love to dress to match me!! So we all go out in our jeans and stripey jumpers for instance ;o

I do try and dress my DS in nice clothes but admit I tend to go for Tesco clothes for nursery as a couple of nice Next trousers now have bleach spots on them from nursery (Milton cleaning fluid apparently).

We find it really hard to get nice trousers for DS as he is a chunky boy in chunky cloth nappies and I am fed up with him going out in tracksuit trousers.

I don't think I would ever dress children in matching clothes - even twins. When I was growing up I hated being lumped together with my 3-years younger brother as "the children" so would have hated to wear the same stuff as him. However I do know of children who love to wear the same clothes as their sibling and it must be a real hassle having found a nice jumper to get somthing different for the other.

When DS was tiny I always dressed him differently in the day (to use all the lovely if slightly impractical outfits we were given). It made me feel better to get us both washed and dressed even if it was 2pm by the time I managed it!

Fortuneatly my girls love matching stuff! I am so chuffed I bought one girl a cute dress on ebay, and a month later found a matching one for the other. I do buy lots of nice stuff from ebay actually, things that I wouldn't normally afford.

Don't know what a Steiner school is....

I would happily let a granny or great-gran spoil my kids with nice clothes, too, if they offered. Just don't feel I want/dare indulge in such luxuries, right now, myself!

yes,yes,ML, agree that "co-ordinated" does not mean naff in my case as well. I just think until they can choose, buy and dress themselves totally us mums should help them to look good!I think there's a confidence element for the person wearing the clothes, plus my dd gets lots of friendly attention wherever she goes (and I know some of it is because she looks attractive). So, not trivial, really.

Cam . Know exactly what you mean.

Zebra, a steiner school is an alterntive schooling system based on the philosphy of rudolph steiner. very popular in Germany, increasing movement here. Too much to go in to on here. I've got a lot of sympathy with the steiner schools and have lots of friends who went through that system BUT although the kids don't wear uniform there is a particular style of middle-class scruffy dressing that for me, Steiner kids epitomize. In fairness, there is a whole value system but I was just using their dress-style to illustrate what i meant about m-c english scruffiness

hmmm have we wandered off the point here?!!

Steiner school = stripes. I love scruffy stripes - my children should be at a Steiner school

When we looked at our local steiner school they did have a dress code. No black. And no writing on any on the clothes. That does somewhat limit the choice as everything has writing on - I had a look through the boys wardrobes when I got back.

aaah! I have seen them - Look like convicts

LOL Musica, been there too. We took the kids to the beach one coldish day so didn't take full swimming kit. DS1 ended up further and further in the water until everthing he had on was soaked he ended up wearing DH's fleece, his trainers and nothing else, he looked like a Biblical character, unfortunately we had to go supermarket shopping on the way home and we got some very strange looks.

I do sometimes put DS1 and DS2 in matching outfits but it is generally not a conscious decision it's just I've been in a bit of a dungaree mood or rugby shirt mood, makes me laugh some days when I realise I have dressed all three of us exactly the same!

I do that too - the baby and I both have on grey tops , blue jeans and beige suede shoes today