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Original poster

2 year old DD1 refuses to sleep during the day - It is runing my life!!

57 replies

CaptainDippy · 13/02/2006 19:41

My 2 year old DD1 has suddenly started to refuse to sleep during the day. She used to have 2 hours between 10 and 12, but now I put her down and she gets up, put her down again and she gets up, no matter what time of day. I wouldn't worry, but she is absolutely exhausted and is an absolute misery from 10am onwards- and I mean ABSOLUTE misery - screaming and crying all the damn time, it doesn't stop and it is making every day miserable for me. I am starting to dread getting up in the morning because I know I have got to put up with a grumpy, miserable little so-and-so all day long.

Does anyone else understand? Is anyone else going through this?? Has anyone get any suggestions? I am going mad here!!

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brimfull · 13/02/2006 20:36

haven't read the thread but I ised to put ds in his cot after lunch no matter what.If he slept greta but if not he was out of ny hair.Kept me sane and he got used to it .Stopped doing that just before 3d b'day

Original poster
CaptainDippy · 13/02/2006 20:36

Thank you so much MrsWood - It is really horrible, because I just get so frustrated and annoyed with her and coping with DD2 at the same time is so hard. Sigh. I really do appreciate all the advice and support - I know it is just a transitional thing, but it is seriously making me so miserable. I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I don't feel in control.

OP posts:
hermykne · 13/02/2006 20:43

CD
what time is she up at in morn?
and when did u take her out of the cot? before the new baby i presume, maybe not?
did she ever sleep for you in the day after 1?

brimfull · 13/02/2006 20:44

Cd I do remember ds at that age being a real pain.looking back it was probably tiredness.I think they get better as they need less sleep.I used to cry every time dh came home,bleeting on about how I'd rather go to work and how much I hated being at home with ds He's 3.5 now and things are easier .

Hope it gets easier,can someone help you out and have her for a few hours /what about exchanging kids with a friend.

brimfull · 13/02/2006 20:45

I mean playdates,not swapping her for another ifswim

Original poster
CaptainDippy · 13/02/2006 20:50

She gets up between 6 and 8am sometime. she was only 15 motnhs when DD2 came along so has noly been in her bed about two months ish. She sleeps in it fine at night, no problems.

Wish I had a bit more help, but alas, not much!!

Yes, she did used to sleep in the afternoon sometimes, depending on morning activity.

Made me giggle ggirl - that's exactly how I am when my DH comes home from work: "I hate my daughter, I want to go back to work blah blah!!"

OP posts:
Babyblue2 · 13/02/2006 21:18

Haven't read the entire thread, I know my DD went through a phase of refusing a nap. I used to let her fall asleep on the sofa watching tv and then wake her up 30 mins or so later so that it didn't ruin her bedtime. If your baby's in a routine is there a time when baby's asleep that you can grab a pillow and both of you lie on the sofa watching her fav programme, this way you both may get some shut eye! Pretend its a game - see who can keep their eyes shut the longest (you'll probably win by the sounds of it)

pinkandsparkly · 13/02/2006 21:28

Oh yes, that horrid transition period when the don't/won't sleep in day but REALLY need one. I had this as a nanny, only with my employer saying

'she must have a sleep before 3.00pm,as she's horrible at tea time, but only let her have half an hour',

One day, then the next day,

'Keep her up all day please, she won't go to bed before 11pm'

Then the day after that,

'please get her to sleep at 1.00pm, she falls asleep in her tea'

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

What ever I did you could bet all your money it was bloody wrong (1st job, no balls, would never happen now!!!!)

jinglybits · 13/02/2006 21:31

...could try waking her up an hour early in the morning, that way she may be grumpy and tired for a few hours in the morning and then have a nap and be sweeter in the afternoon...or you could do what i do but not sure if i recccomend and let her stay up til 9 (!) and get up at 9am...i know shocking! but i've always been a nightowl and i myself am terrible (evil) early morning so best to avoid it! if he's been not sleeping enough i find its easier to lull him back to sleep in the morning than offer a nap later, so you could also try that to help her be more rested and less grumpy. my ds (20mths) doesn't usually have a day nap though, just 2 or 3 times a week. good luck, stay sane, its all transitional, it WILL pass x.

dinny · 13/02/2006 21:33

CD - get a DVD player and stick a Disney film on. Sounds like a necessity!

DD dropped her nap at 18 months old (just when I was suffering all-day sickness when pg with ds). Was gutted. Made her have quiet time on sofa watching a film instead.

Enid · 14/02/2006 08:13

you dont have a dvd player?

buy one

or can you watch them on your pc

Bozza · 14/02/2006 08:56

I used to make DS go to bed with some books to look at. I see no problem with you insisting on a quiet time. I would say get her up at 7.30 every day and then after lunch insist on her going to her room for quiet time.

Stilltrue · 14/02/2006 09:55

I know how you feel; I had a 21m gap 1st time around and ds1 gave up his nap when ds2 was just a few weeks old . Child no3 slept in the day until she was nearly 3...hurrah...and now ds3 is driving me round the bend with sleep deprivation. He is 2.1. I stopped the naps over the Christmas holidays as a nap meant wakefulness for hours during the night . He now goes to bed like a dream at 7pm, but wakes sooo early. A later bedtime makes no difference. Lately it's been a 4.30/5am average for him waking up. I'm looking a good 10 years older atm .

Anyway...my ds3 has a little soft "den", a bit like a dog's basket actually , which I bought from cozeecompany.co.uk. He will sometimes chill out in it in front of Winnie the Pooh etc. while I get a bit of a break. Or you could try a special "resting time" selection of quiet toys/books which stay in a particular box and only come out if he stays quietly in his room.

Sympathies!

lolliepops · 14/02/2006 10:18

my dd droped naps at about 18 mths aswell but some days would of really benifited form one! my dd gets up at 6-7am everymorning no matter what time i put her to bed most of the time the later i put her to bed the earlier she gets up. if she is anything like my dd, who has much more impotrant things to do then sleep putting her to bed later wil not help. My dd has always faught her sleep from being a baby, she is 3 next month and i am longing for the day she decides to have a lie in!

wannaBe1974 · 14/02/2006 12:06

Oh how well I remember this phase. My DS dropped his nap just after his 2nd birthday although he desperately still needed a sleep. I think it equally came as a shock to my system as he went from having 2 hours in the afternoon to nothing, and it happened over night. I too used to let him have a quiet time after lunch, watching a bit of TV or a DVD, and invariably if he was tired he would fall asleep. I did find with my DS though that he would fall asleep easier if I was not in the room, so I would leave the room for 5 minute periods and often would find him asleep when I got back. I also used to get DS' favourite bear down, the one which he sleeps with at night, and often he would cuddle him and watch tv and before he knew it he was asleep.

10:00 is very early to put a 2 year old down for a nap though imo, it could be that as she's been used to having this nap so early she really isn't that tired at that time of the morning, so might be worth trying to encourage sleep a little later in the day.

Clary · 14/02/2006 12:22

All of mine dropped their daytime nap just after they were 2. Basically because they wouldn't go to sleep at night so they didn't need it.
It does sound tricky, but I wonder if you just need to get over the hump of her not having a nap - maybe she is getting up to early? Or has she had too much sleep? 6pm is a very early bedtime. I hear what you are saying about her being so grumpy and stroppy, but I wouldn't expect a 2yo who had had a good sleep to be so tired as to need a 10am nap anyway. Does she eat well? How about doing something active first thing in the morning (walk to park, swimming, walk to shops), I always find that a good idea. (We walk to school which always calms everyone down).
sorry CD, skimming the thtread it sounds like you are having a really hard time. I do hope it works out. Remember - "It's just a phase."

Sidonie · 14/02/2006 12:31

I think her bedtime routine sounds fine. I just think she no longer wants to nap and I would stop trying to make her. Instead I would develop a "quite time" routine with her.

Make a cosy place for her on the sofa, in a bean bag, in her room etc. Perhaps have some soothing music for her to play on a CD-player. (She may learn to be quite for the length of the CD.) Sit and read with her or some other quiet activity for a few days until she understands what is expected.

Perhaps you could cut down on the number of toddler groups for a week. All the activity may be making her feel more tired.

It is a tough time when they give up their naps.

Original poster
CaptainDippy · 14/02/2006 13:35

Thank you so much everyone - Just caught up on the thread (DD2 now at nursery for the afternoon, hurrah!! Took her into town this morning and then for a mammouth walk, but guess what - yep - she was STILL awake at the end of it!!!!!!!! Argh!!!! DD1 is asleep, phew!!)

Well, it seems that this "quiet time! idea sounds like a good one - I think that it will take a good wee while to implement though cos at the moment, if I leave DD2 in her room by herself she screams and screams and screams and screams - She is crap at occupying herself unless she is doing something naughty - so far today the first time I was changing DD2's nappy she cut through my curtains with a pair of scissors and the 2nd time she spread sudocreme all over my adored wool rug!! She really is such a little sprite!! Grrrrrr! I WILL TRY to do the quiet time thing, but she is a whirling dervish - she just can't stay still, she is sooooooooo active, it is nearly impossible to keep her in one place!! and she HATES being in the house - she is constantly going to the front door and getting her shoes and coat - I'm generally out 9 - 5 most days now, absolutely knackered!!

Guess I'll just have to try, it is sending me loopy!

OP posts:
blueshoes · 14/02/2006 13:54

After lunch is a good time for a walk in the buggy or some quiet time. The food that is settling in their little tummies tend to make them sleepy. It is the annoying stage when they drop their naps before they are ready for it. My dd (2.4) will go without naps until it all catches up on her one day and she naps for 2 hours, buggering her nighttime sleep! I sympathise about the not being able to occupy herself. My dd is just like that. Until you have a child like that, I don't think it is possible to understand how full-on that is and how impossible it is to distract them with toys, activities etc. I never get anything done with dd in the house. Because of that, she spends a lot of time in the nursery, where she takes an afternoon nap lol!

Original poster
CaptainDippy · 14/02/2006 14:24

Thanks for your sympathies blueshoes!! You've got a nutty one too then? Yes, she is a mischievious little imp!! Very cute, cheeky too!!

OP posts:
kittyfish · 14/02/2006 14:57

so far today the first time I was changing DD2's nappy she cut through my curtains with a pair of scissors and the 2nd time she spread sudocreme all over my adored wool rug!!

Love that you call her a sprite after this - if she was mine swear words would definitely be involved!!

Original poster
CaptainDippy · 14/02/2006 20:56

Not on mumsnet - I might get in trouble!!

OP posts:
madmarchhare · 15/02/2006 10:52

I am in agreement with kittyfish here. Maybe its her behaviour you should be tackling rather than her sleeping.

Bozza · 15/02/2006 10:59

Yes I agree with madmarchhare. I think you need to start setting her some boundaries, including that she has to have a quiet time. I used to give DS the option - nap or quiet time on his own with books to sort of sell him the idea.

sandyballs · 15/02/2006 11:09

My twin DDs went through a similar phase at this age CaptainDippy. I used to put a video on and sit down with one either side of me and they eventually nodded off, then I could squeeze myself out and leave them to it on the sofa. Not quite so easy for you with an 8 month old though.