Worried about DC4-Not reaching out and hands still in tight fists. Can someone remind me when they should be doing these things?

[lovingthecoast]

Hiya, DC4 who is my second DS is now 4.5mths. I'm starting to worry about how he is under the baby gym. He will occasionally move his hands in the vague direction of the hanging stuff but still seems only to ever actually hit them by mistake. My older 3 were definitely reaching out more purposely by this point and 2 of them were actually grabbing stuff.

His hands are also still in tight fists which seems late to me. He'll be 5mths on the 29th. If I sit him up in the bumbo and hold something in front of him he seems a little excited and will look at it and move his arms up and down a little but make no attempt or at least isn't able to grab it.

I don't think he has a vision problem as he follows us and objects very well with his eyes. I know they all develop at different rates but as he's my 4th, something just doesn't seem right.

.

Anyone?

I think he should be playing with the baby gym by now. However he's probably not that far behind. Best thing would to be to take him to the Health Visitor drop in session if you have them at your gp, tell them your worried as he's behind his sibs at that age.
At least you wont be dismissed for being a first time over anxious mum.

It does seem a little late but its good hes following objects with his eyes. Are you in the UK? Can you give your HV a call or even google so you know if hes within the normal range.

They all develop differently as im sure you know. My almost 18m old wasnt talking at all 2 weeks ago and now chatters away.

Thanks, both of you. I've tried speaking to the HV but just the the whole, they all develop at different rates talk. And of course, I know that's true but he's my 4th and the other 3 have also developed at their own pace but each one was at least excitedly batting at stuff by now. DD1 was definitely grabbing and DS1 not far behind. DD2 just batting but loved the baby gym and was always trying to reach for the stuff hanging. None of the older 3 still had clenched fists at this age either.

His arms seem very weak but difficult to say whether he's not reaching out due to lack of interest or due to weak muscle tone in his arms. He does kick his legs furiously when lying under it.
Should he be reaching for toys at nearly 5mths?

Should also add that he doesn't coo yet but I cannot remember when the other 3 started to coo. Even as I type, I'm getting more worried.

I never really found HVs much use.

TBH I can't remember when DS started doing any of these things (and he's only 2.1 ) but if you are concerned then make an appt with your GP. If they are concerned then they will hopefully refer you to someone like a developmental paediatrician.

(FWIW, my DS did not roll until 14 months and crawled at 19/20 months, so I understand how stressful it can be when DC do not reach their milestones on time! He is fine now :) )

Can you open his hands by stimulating the backs of them by rubbing or stroking them? Or do you have to 'unpeel' them?

We had to do lots of physio with dd2 as her hands were v tightly balled into fists (with thumb in palm) and she would tuck them under her chin like a boxer. (she has v noticeable problems, so not suggesting same scale, or even partic out of the ordinary as my small baby radar has been obliterated lol)

If your Uvula is a bit usless, Id definitely see the Gp. And reiterate how different to the older ones he is. Id also agree that trying to stimulate hand opening is a good idea. Good luck anyway

Uvula fecking auto correct, H.V.

hmm my 3rd has very tight fists still at 3 months, and she still likes to keep them under her chin. It's a tricky one, but I'd go with your instinct and get a paed referral from your gp.

We had this with dd, or at least, the hands in fists bit. She would just bat at things in front of her, rather then reaching for them, if you see what I mean. I went to see my GP when she was about 5 months old and he referred her to a paediatrician. We saw the paediatrician who examined and x-rayed her hands. She couldn't find anything wrong, and asked me to come back in 3 months if nothing had improved. Over time, things did just improve on their own. We gave her lots of opportunities to develop and use a pincer grip. She's now 7, but the default position for her hands is still with her thumbs tucked in behind her fingers.

If you are concerned, I would go and see your GP and by-pass the HV.

Thank you everyone! I can loosen his grip but it doesn't seem comfortable or natural for him. He does gesture towards the things above but in a very unco-ordinated way in the way the others did around 10 or 11wks if that makes sense. I guess I'm worried because I know very well that failure to reach out and grab can ring alarm bells and coupled with the lack of cooing is starting to make me worry. He just seems so different from the other 3!

Just bumping in case anyone this evening can give their perspective.

Your gut instinct is very important so I agree that a visit to GP or HV would be worthwhile. DD has mild CP so yes, fisted hands was one of the first signs things weren't right but I have also heard of neuro-typical children who did fist from time to time up until a year or so in age.

How about tummy time - can he support his weight on his arms? Is he developing head control/trunk control etc?

I can't recall exactly but it did feel that my DD was a bit late too. She never really played with the baby gym ever. Clenched hands a lot. She's now 10mo and still has zero interest in toys (though power cables, forks and keys are Highly Desirable). Her grip and pincer grip are both very controlled though and she's very good at feeding herself. Remember worrying and comparing to my more typical, toy obsessed nephew at the time but now I think she's absolutely fine.

No idea if this helps!

Hi survivingwinter. We do regular tummytime and although he has good head and neck control he isn't putting any of that weight on his hands. When should he start doing that? I guess at 4.5mths he should be supporting his weight with his hands. Oh! I guess I should be worrying then.

My DS definitely didn't support his eight on his hands during tummy time at 4.5 months. I think he was over 9 months - it was when he started to crawl. He didn't coo at 4.5 months either, just went straight to babbling at 5.5.

If you are worried it makes sense to get him checked but it could ell be nothing serious

Thanks. I don't want to worry unnecessarily. Problem is I have 3 older ones and we have film of them reaching and grabbing at his age. DS1 I'm sure must have been supporting himself as he rolled at 4.5mths. The girls were a bit later with rolling. I know I shouldn't compare but as the other 3 were all doing it by this stage I have started to worry that something is amiss.

I think the best way to describe his tummy time is to say that he looks like he's skydiving if that makes sense!

My DD is 4.5 months. I have cooing down as '7 weeks first; well from 10 weeks'. She does take her soother from her mouth and holds it but doesn't reach out for rattles particularly. She does interact with her baby gym (pulling things down to gum them etc.) . On her tummy she will do a good mini-pushup.

Those are the facts but I think she's better than DS was at this age.

Re: the cooing - does he smile and engage socially in other ways? If so I wouldn't worry. You say his eyes follow and that's a good sign. Also is he physically large? That can delay a lot of things like holding head weight and stuff.

Ultimately you will know at the first developmental check as it seemed to me to be late enough to accommodate all the children that took their time.

Yes I know what you mean. I've just lookes on my photos on my phone and have a picture of DS doing the same at about 4 months, then one of him propping himself on his elbows at 6.5 months. DD was much earlier with everything and I was worried too, but he seems fine at the moment. He didn't reach out for things on his baby gym much either, but did start to grasp at toys that were handed to him from about 5 months I think.

Thanks all. Yes, he's big with a head circ on the 95th cent so I imagine it weighs a lot. Maybe boys are a little slower but DS1 is 8yrs so it's been a while since he was a baby and Ive had 2 girls inbetween.

I'll give it another couple of weeks and if no better by 5mths I'll go and see the GP.

Probably nothing but I would say forget HV and go to GP and get referred to a paediatrician.

iwillonlyeatbeans it is reassuring to hear you say your DS didn't crawl until 19/20 months. When did he start walking? My DD is 11 months and only began rolling at 10 months and shows no interest in crawling/pulling up to walk. Is saying words and does a lot with her hands though. I talked my GP into referring me to a paediatrician though HV said usual mantra that they all develop at diff rates! I just need the reassurance. DD was grabbing things at 5 months though - go to GP and get referral just for peace of mind. Chances are he is fine though.

Would your hv refer you to a paediatric physio? Our hv is pretty good at doing what we ask although on this occasion she forgot to put it through and by the time the physio came out DS was fine!
Round here the community physio also goes to bumps and babes groups to talk about development. If they do something similar down your way that might be another way of getting reassurance/professional involvement.