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relentless negativity from ds

40 replies

thecattleareALOHing · 22/12/2005 16:39

Feeling so frustrated atm. Ds (4.3) is so negative at the moment and some days it feels as if I am dragging myself from one battle to another and it's so wearing. Constantly trying to get up the energy to get from A-B.
Whatever I suggest, ds's automatic reaction is 'no, I don't want to'. This afternoon I said we were going to a Christmas party - with a puppet show, stories, and party food at a local venue. Ds shrieks no, he wants to watch a dvd. He sobs, shouts and is definite. Then he says he might go, but when I get coats, he's changed his mind again and is adamanant he doesn't want to go. As I am tired and cannot face paying £8 for something that I will have to drag him to screaming and sobbing, we don't go. Of course, now, when it is too late, he wants to go.
Normally I would have just dragged him there, but it gets so tiring. He doesn't want to go anywhere, and when we get there, doesn't want to leave. Lots of tears and shrieking. It rather saps the pleasure from things. I was really, really looking forward to taking him to this party and feel really that we missed it.
Is this just ds or is it common that kids are like this? I get pretty much the same reaction to everything from popping to the corner shop to going to a party. he was enthusiastic about seeing Narnia this am, and he is nearly always enthusiastic to see Grandma, but anything else is a battle. Help!

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thecattleareALOHing · 22/12/2005 18:18

He just will NOT co-operate. it's like herding cats, only much, much worse.

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thecattleareALOHing · 22/12/2005 18:19

Mind you, he's so gutted about missing the party that I am planning to use that in future when he kicks off.

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singersgirl · 22/12/2005 22:10

Hope the white wine helped and your DS is less relentless in his naysaying tomorrow.

DinosaurInAManger · 23/12/2005 10:10

I do sympathise. DS2 (also four) can be very stubborn. I don't find him so bad to deal with but he runs rings round my mother.

thecattleareALOHing · 23/12/2005 10:12

He's woken up full of Christmas cheer! Hooray!

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alexsmum · 23/12/2005 10:14

he's 4.8 you say? has he startted school this year?
if so it could be end of term exhaustion. We were told by ds's reception teacher that this term is the worst and by christmas they are exhausted and grumpy and hyped up over christmas etc. it certainly applies to my ds who is five. if it has developed recently could it be this?

tamum · 23/12/2005 10:54

Aloha, I really hope the Christmas cheer continues. You sounded so down yesterday- fingers crossed for a great day

thecattleareALOHing · 23/12/2005 11:17

He's not at school yet, but he is at the library atm with his baby sis and hi nanny (I have no work but hey, I can now go to John Lewis to buy my mum's christmas present!).
Totally different boy this morning. Hope it lasts!

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alexsmum · 23/12/2005 22:47

good i'm glad aloha.
i guess they just have their off days like us all.

ellasmum1 · 23/12/2005 23:13

my dd nearly 3 like this at the mo,for past week especially.Drives me mental!!every little thing answer is no and horrendous tantrums.Thought i'd avoided terrible twos.Very interested about the xmas unpredictability,maybe its because i'm distracted and stressed this week!Fingers crossed it'll get better again after xmas.

CHUNKYMUNKEY · 23/12/2005 23:20

my dd is like this at the moment, she is 4.4. Loves to go out usually but is in a "dont want to do anything" mode at the moment. When we do go out she plays up a lot, especially when with me and dp which makes us all stressed and ruins the day and tbh it makes me resentful that we try our best in giving her different experiences and this is the behaviour we get from it.

bobbybobbobbingalong · 24/12/2005 05:37

Ds's favourite saying is "I'll just stay here - you go on your own". He's still little enough to pick up and shove in a car seat though. You have my sympathy.

PantomimEDAMe · 24/12/2005 08:49

Hate to tell you this, but my littlest sister was still like this at 15! Only occasionally, but boy was it wearing. And she was too big for me to pick her up. Aaarrggh.

You have my sympathy, if that's any use (or even if it isn't).

EliBeentoSantasGrotto · 24/12/2005 09:03

dh has been rather like this of late - I think its a mix of Xmas and lack of sunlight, and he's WAY too big to stuff in a carseat

fullofturkeymoonfiend · 24/12/2005 10:55

Oh this is depressingly familiar - only my ds is 8! We have tantrums 'I don't wanna go out for a walk/to the park etc' then he sulks when we get there, then comes round, enjoys himself and sulks when it's time to go. Younger ds is always so enthusiastic, I feel like I've got Horrid Henry and Perfect Peter some days. I definitely 'do' Joyce grenfell tho!

Cod - I've missed something somewhwere - why KeyserSoze?

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