When should we fess up about Santa?!?

[rodeo1]

Sorry if this has been done before but....

My dd (age 6) asked dp the other day if Santa is real. He said "Yes" and now feels uncomfortable about what he said.

I'm not sure what I'd have said if she'd have come to me, think I may have dithered and then said "No".

I think if she's asked the question herself she can sense something fishy about it (she keeps saying things like 'I know the elves don't make the toys because they sell them in the shop' and about men dressed as Santa 'I know they're not Santa, they're just dressed up. So who are they? Santa's helpers?'

I asked the same question when I was 5, and my mum just said 'No, he's not real' and I was really disappointed, so I'm not sure about telling her just yet.

So do we tell yet or not?!

Ha! Nooka! Finally I find someone else who sees sense!!!!!!

My ds nearly 8 still fervently believes, though he keeps asking impossible-to-answer questions - then supplying his own answers, sort of like he wants to believe despite all evidence. And as I have a younger child too, I'm grateful. Long may it continue. Childhood seems to be getting shorter and shorter and there's precious little magic left in life. BUT santa only brings little stocking fillas in our house. If I have scrimped and saved and bought the perfect pressie for my ds's - I want the credit, not ''isn't santa wonderful for buying me a new bike''

Well Kelly, I am an aetheist, but brought up a Christian (my sister is a vicar). I love fairy stories, but they are just that, stories - I don't pretend that they are real (now wouldn't that be scary!). I was brought up with the Christmas story being purely about Jesus, Joseph and Mary, and as I went to a Catholic school (run by nuns) Santa didn't really feature. I've never felt I missed out. My father always put a present on the end of the bed after midnight mass (usually designed to keep us occupied all morning) and I never felt the need to believe it was someone else. I like the giving bit best about Christmas, and it would make me sad if my children thought their presents that I, and my friends and family, had carefully chosen for them had just magically appeared. My children have the most incredible imaginations, but me leading them down the garden path about Santa, just isn't going to be one of them! As I said, I don't mind what traditions other families follow, but Santa is not for me! (and Rhubarb too, I see )

I can see the point of the idea that family bought the presents rather than santa, but I still can't quite imagine a chiristmas without santa. Definately an interesting viewpoint tho.

nooka, piffle I never met anyone before who thought like this! I was explaining to ds (now 3) about it being a made up thing and p nearly had a fit! I mean ds loves scooby doo, he knows that's not 'real' why not enjoy FC in a similar way? oh, and rhubarb too! well thank goodness!

we do similar to nooka, ninah, piffle etc. we don't tell the dds (age 5, 4 and 1) that father christmas exists. but we let them play at it and they get a lot of pleasure from the story of it. the girls have great imaginations and they love fantasy play but they also know it's not "really" true.

i'm more comfortable with that cos it means we can always be honest with them, i'd be uncomfortable pretending to them. but then like nooka we never believed it as children and i didn't really feel we missed out there.

Another 'ditto' to Nooka, Fennel etc.....never had Santa as a reality in my childhood, but Christmas was utterly magical and mystical (though non-religious) all the same. Don't think I could convincingly talk about leaving milk out for flying reindeers...but DD, who has a mega imagination, is welcome to dream up her own stories without me bursting bubbles. I did half believe in the tooth fairy till I was about three....but not really....

ooohhhh what a debate, a dilema! Each to his own I say! I loved believing in FC, it was so magical.... but like the others said, I think deep down we new it was a story. My children have each asked at some point, and I always said the same thing.... "what do you think?" Most of the time they didn't really want to think, especially as they got around to seeing it couldn't be true. As for the presents, we have NEVER said that the 'real presents' were from FC> They have a stocking which is full of small pressies, the bigger pressie always had a tag on from us! There was nothing like seeing their faces when trying to stay awake to catch FC. Then waking and racing into us with a full stocking that had magically been filled! My children are 6, 8 and 10 now and all know that it is a story... in fact for the past few years we have read the ORIGIN of Santa Claus and how he was a generous old man, and the story of the coins landing in the stockings too! That way they now see it is a story, albeit a wonderful one, ....
As for the reindeer's straw, brandy for Santa, mince-pie with the bite taken out, the nawed carrot and the mirrored writing..... I think parents do this because IT IS building memories and such fun! In fact Christmas isn't Christmas without traditions - whatever you choose to do!
I have yet to meet (someone will now prove me WRONG) who has been pyschalogially Spelling! damaged from being told that Santa was real)> Enjoy whatever you choose to do!

What do you mean? Of course Santa is real!

my DP does claim he was psychologically damaged by being told santa was real!

he argues that he knew logically it couldn't be true (he's a scientist, rationalist) but his parents insisted it was. for several years after he was sure it couldn't be. he felt quite confused and he says he was quite upset by the discrepancy between his general world view and the insistence by his parents that father christmas was real. he felt quite let down as he was trusting them to tell the truth.

so there you go. not exactly traumatised for life but he was quite unhappy about it, he says.