2.5 year old says these ALL the time - (please help)

[mojomummy]

& is driving me insane. I'm actually glad to be at work today, which is a shame.

No no no no NNNNNNNNNNNNNo

I do it

I not fall down.....I FALL DOWN (getting on to the toilet)

I DO IT !

No tights

No coat

I clean my teeth

I wipe...I DO IT

I clean it (the table, the potty, the floor etc)

I BIG girl

I appreciate my DD is asserting her independance, but my patience is rapidly wearing out & I'm fed up with this constant battle.

It seems everything is confrontational & I don't want to be beaten by her. BUT I don't want to turn in to an old dragon. SOmeone suggested giving her choices, so she has choice of dress/ skirt & tights, or if no tights, socks & trousers. We do manage to dress her, so something is working.

She has also started climbing out of her cotbed, so proving difficult to get to nap in the day, which doesn't help her patience . Everything is just getting ridiculous

We've tried a sticker chart, but she hasn't grasped the fundamentals. There is no reasoning at all. She will say sorry after she has been on the naughty step, or I've given her 2 mins on her own - is this the only way ? how long is it going to last ? SHould I put her in a bed ?
I will be most gratefiul for any suggestions

Gosh that sounds like my DD!

Can't give much help, but just a couple of things that work with us...

For wiping bits/bum - she does front, whilst we do back, and then we swap over and she cleans back whilst we clean front. Also works for pulling up nappies, trousers etc.

For teeth, we put on the toothpaste, she takes it off again. Also, we brush her teeth, whilst she brushes mine. Or she has a spare brush to brush her knees / arms / various parts of her body.

Can't help with the Cot thing. Sorry!

Oh God, this has made me feel so much better (apart from the toilet bit..ds2, who's 2.5, will not attempt potties, toilets, pants etc. Just says, 'NO! I want my NAPPY!')
Had a bad day yesterday. Big tantrum about teeth in the morning, ended up struggling and accidentally head-butting me when I held him down so that I bit my tongue really hard. Then at bedtime, after 2 million other tantrums and confrontations, he accidentally head-butted me in the same spot and I bit the same bit of my tongue. Mouthful of blood. One very cross mummy. Dh was calling him Glasgow Kiss Boy. (Hope that doesn't offend any Scots - I am actually originally Glaswegian!. It's just NO, No, NO! all day long. I have no advice, but just wanted to say I SO know how you feel!

hello Mojomummy I too have an "independent and free spirited" 2.5 year old. I do know what it's like!
With the teeth I have lots of brushes and toothpaste knockng around so there is always a choice i.e. do you want the lion king toothpaste or the minty one, the car toothbrush or the lion one. I let her start off by herself and finish it myself.
choices for everything I would say, but only two. e.g. which coat, which shoes, do you want to walk up the stairs or shall I carry you, pushchair or walk, mily ice cream or fruity etc etc ad nauseum.

I sit her at the bottom of the stairs as some quiet time to calm down, and I get her to explain to me why she is there/why I am cross but tbh I try not to use this too much and distract as much as I possibly can.

[deep breath] I wanted to say that - the thing is that this is only really a problem if you think it is. this might be the most irritating thing you have ever read but if you can I would suggest that whenever you feel irritated or impatient you just laugh about it. and take the confrontation out of it. it really is NOT a question of her "beating you" - you re the adult and she is a child and the power is absolutely with you, but your everyday life will be so much more fun for both of you. You might feel silly at first but seriously try to lighten up as much as you can. It's up to you to set the mood. Force yourself to smile an see the funny side about it and over time it becomes a habit.

I once heard something on the radio about how schizophrenic we are about children - we want them to be "good" when they are babies and toddlers and then we want them to be successful and assertive when they are older. well I think you can't have it both ways and your dd sounds like she might well turn out to be chairman of IBM or find a cure for cancer or be a concert pianist or whatever. If it helps, I sometimes repeat to myself "she will grow into this personality" - my mother's words of wisdom.

Harpsy - I also try and make everything as much fun as possible. I try to avoid confrontation by distraction, giving simple choices, telling stories, playing the fool (my boy LOVES slapstick, so if I pretend to fall down or talk in a funny voice he just laughs and forgets he didn't want to do X), make unpleasant tasks interesting (eg got a second hand Thomas Tank Engine Duvet cover off ebay, and now he RUNS to go and sleep with Thomas), and avoid potentially explosive situations if he is tired or hungry. But if there is a confrontation then I do not back down (pick your battles, but never loose), so resort to time out but keep this to a minimum.

Also just realise that doing things their own way is how they learn (even if it takes ten times longer or if they put on their pants back to front). So I let him do as much as he wants by himself, but when time is critical (eg we have to be somewhere at a certain time) then he knows that it is "mummy's turn" - and I explain why (without debating).

I also do the interesting choices for teeth cleaning, but we do the opposite way around. I do "mummy first" - then he can finish off. That way he knows he has the "treat" of doing it himself once I am done.

I sure if the health authorities could see some of our antics, they'd lock me away for sure! But ds has heaps of fun, and I have to laugh because it is such a pleasure seeing him laugh

Oh, and while letting them do stuff themselves does take longer initially, I find it generally saves time in the long run because (1) you don't have to deal with a tantrum and (2) they build up their skills and then start to become more efficient at dressing themselves/going to toilet or (my ds's favourite) VACUUMING (at two and a half, he vacuums really well and just loves HELPING)

I have a nearly 3 yr ld dd,and this thread was the laugh i needed this morning...........
Thank you all for helping me releise we are all in the same boat xx

wow kiwikate you have taught him to HOOVER!
I am in awe...
nice work. dd does help me with lots of things (loading the dishwasher, emptying the washing machine etc) but she doesn't ACTUALLY help IYSWIM

Well, I didn't teach him, really. As soon as he could walk he grabbed the little hand-held one and turned it on and off (REPEATEDLY). As soon as he could hold it, he was "helping" in a not-at-all-helpfull-way. Now he can use the big machine and does a jolly good job!

[He'll make some woman a fine husband someday, in the meantime, well, what can a mum do if a boy has a passion to clean house? I mean, I can't crush his spirit]

from this month's Junior mag for teethbrushing:

push the nose and say "ding dong! can I clean the house?" then DS1 opens his mouth/ the door and I clean his teeth by telling him I am doing the kitchen downstairs at the back, the sitting room downstairs too, the hall way, the bathroom at the back upstairs, Angus's bedroom upstairs at the back and mummy's bedroom upstairs at the front as I work my way round all those sharp little teeth

never thought it would work on such a mouth-clamper but on Sunday I had to do MORE brushing because I had forgotten to clean the hot cupboard (story of my life

BEAUTIFUL, SFG

think I'll steal that one fron you