The Mumsnet Pasta Jar - basic premise and how to introduce?

[Earlybird]

Over and over again I see others recommending the famous mumsnet pasta jar as an effective system of motivating children to behave well, and rewarding them for good behaviour.

I'd like to start this system at our house, but want to think about how to set up the groundrules before I introduce the concept to dd. I would love to know exactly how it's used in other homes.

What, if any, duties are expected of your child as a contributing member of the family and are not "rewardable"?
What "earns" a piece of pasta?
What "sin" causes a piece of pasta to be taken away?
How many pieces does the child have to earn in order to receive a reward?
What sorts of rewards do you give?
Do you start over again every week/month or when a milestone has been reached or a treat rewarded?
Any secrets for success, or pitfalls to be wary of?

DD is 4.8, btw. Thanks for the tips!

I'm afraid I use money!! But only to reward specific above average good behaviour. For misdemeanours I use the naughty step. They basically get £1 pocket money, but to get this they MUST help tidy their rooms once a week. If they additional stuff, not just housework (!) they earn more money. However I don't offer it as a bribe prior to event IYKWIM. For instance, the other day DD1 was fantastic, we were out all day and she really helped me with some younger kids and was so grown up and lovely all day, when we got home I rewarded her with £1. However I wouldn't have said to her before teh day, if you are good today you will get £1.

The reason we do money is they now have to buy all their own sweets, magazines and little toys. When we go to the shop if they want sweets and haven't got their money, we may buy them, but they HAVE to give us the money when we get home!! If they want to visit Poundland at teh weekend, it is with their money!! This actually saves me money in the long run as I was often buying sweets, a £1 toy and a magazine most weeks. Now they get a MAXIMUM of £2 - £3.

Do you think this would work with baby pasta? If so do you know where I could buy it. We have space issues

I will have to look at accepting pasta as a form of payment on my website and when I open my real shop as I want it to be the type of place where kids come to spend their pocket money, didn't realise they ge paid in pata now . Whats the exchange rate for GBP£ .

We have started to use this and had a few probs to start with. I give the two boys (5 and 6) 5 pieces to start with. For eating properly and not taking too long to finish and for completing his homework Charlie (5) get 2 pieces. Robert (6) gets a piece for not getting upset when he goes into school and for completing his homework with no grumbles. These are the main things they are bad at. I took some away for fighting and you would think the world had caved in. So I mainly use it for rewards, the threat of taking pasta away is enough to control them. Also if they try new food, are considerate, go to bed well or general good behaviour they get extras. Each piece is converted into 10c at the end of the week. It works really well and has made life easier. Good Luck!!

SoupDragon, what do you do if DS is too young to comprehend money, and you have an unconfessed chocoholic (and sweetoholic) for a DH?!

I haven't read all of this but this is basically a token system and similar but simpler than a star chart. I would be very wary of removing a token/star/farfalle for "bad" behaviour. I know that behaviourists generally don't remove tokens unless in extreme circumstances and do not do it lightly. Presumably not earning enough tokens/pasta for whatever reward is on offer is punishment enough? We have used token systems many, many times with DS who is autistic and they are very effective but can lose their power over time and need to be rested or reinvigorated.

Thought I'd do a quick update on our progress.

Following on from all your guidance and suggestions, I spoke to dd about the idea of a pasta jar, and enlisted her help. We made a big thing about choosing the "right" jar, and choosing the type of pasta to put in it. We then sat down and wrote out a list of things that would result in a reward piece of pasta. We alternated with ideas - I'd suggest some, and she'd suggest some. We also agreed that each piece of pasta is worth 5p. By involving her in all aspects of the plan, I think she is more excited about the concept than perhaps she would be if it was something mummy alone had instigated.

She is thrilled to get a piece of pasta, and is very vocal in letting me know how many pieces she has accumulated. As some of you suggested, we have not got into the concept of "losing" pasta for bad behaviour - it simply results in a failure to "earn". Her behaviour has been very good. Our recent issues have not been to do with being naughty, but have been more to do with anxiety/phobias (suddenly hysterical about having her nails cut as she's afraid I'll "nip" her with clippers), or illness related (poor eating/lack of appetite due to heavy cold/cough).

All in all, it's been a good idea for us. DD is responding well. The pasta jar is also more "interactive" than a star chart, so I think works better for us.

How are the rest of you getting on?