My 15mo doesn't seem to understand anything...

[musicmaiden]

My DS is 15.5mo - I realise this is still fairly young on the grand scale of things. If I had never read anything about development I probably wouldn't be especially concerned but I have read lots so I am...

I am not worried about his milestones per se, the main thing I am fretting about is that I just don't think he understands us. He has been diagnosed with a bit of glue ear which probably doesn't help, but he doesn't seem to respond to words, questions, choices, etc. He often doesn't respond to his name (sometimes he does look round, but I am not sure how much of that is tone of voice rather than the word IYSWIM). If I said 'get your boat/train/cup' he wouldn't do it or show any understanding.

a quick rundown of his development

• he has stuck his tongue out pretty much constantly since birth. Everyone comments on it but no one has ever thought it was an issue, although I have always worried about it a bit. He has good control over it, can put it back in plenty, we never had any issues with bf etc. He does seem to stick it out rather less now.

• he is not yet walking but is an excellent crawler, climber, shelf-fiddler etc.

• he has not yet come out with any words but he babbles lots and lots. Plenty of mamama and dadada and bababa but not necessarily to/about the right people. He looks very happy and pleased with himself while babbling though.

• he is very smiley, makes plenty of eye contact, is extremely affectionate, can clap and wave and touch his hands to his head. He plays well alongside other kids and with us, and is certainly not happier left to his own devices, the opposite if anything.

• he doesn't point and can't (always) follow a point at all. If he sees animals or anything like that he looks at them and takes it all in but doesn't get excited or anything.

• he is a terrible eater, very fussy, frequently refuses food both at home and at nursery and has done since I started weaning.

• he goes to nursery 3 days a week where he has been fine except the eating thing.

• he is a terrific sleeper both at naptime and night-time.

...So, what do people think? I am right to worry, or will it just 'come'?

Thanks for all and every comment - sorry it's so long!

Sorry short post, just retyping one I lost

Not sure about the development issues you raised, my instinct says you have nothing to worry about

Some points on the adenoids / glue ear thing. My nephew recently had his adenoids out and glue ear treated at 19 months. He was considered quite young for this but my sister pushed as she thought running nose was linked to poor sleep.

The speach therapist on the ward told her she had done the right thing as she mostly saw children age 7 ( who had adenoids out following wait and see policy) by which point treating speach issues was much harder, she bemoaned the policy of seeing if children grew out of it

My nephew is saying his first words he's 2 and sister reports his hearing is better

could you have his hearing tested ?

Leonie: That's so interesting, thanks. Not sure if DS has the beige diet, really, although it is certainly limited (especially right now, which I am hoping is just teeth/ongoing running nose). It drives me to distraction.

I'm not sure how many of your DD2's other symptoms I recognise in my DS but I am guessing some of these were more obvious as she got older. The lack of empathy is an interesting one, if DS hurts me accidentally in some way and I say 'ouch' and look pained he doesn't seem to really understand this and tends to laugh or some such. But maybe I'm reading too much into that.

So far I have found HVs useless so do not have high hopes for my paed nurse visit next week. However we shall see what she says. I am wondering if she will dismiss any sign of 'delay' because of the glue ear.

The only thing the nursery have brought up is that he doesn't seem to respond to his name/loud noises around him all the time, hence why we had his hearing tested and the glue ear was diagnosed. He has always been what the GP described charmingly as a mouth-breather, and often sounds like he is panting. In fact with all his scampering and willfullness he is very much like a puppy

LBsMum - thanks for that. That's one of the youngest ages I've read for that op. If it does look like that's the issue I will certainly press for it being done as soon as feasible. I am hard of hearing myself so have plenty of experience with ENT.

This radio show has a lot of receptive language milestones (ie understanding of language).

www.blogtalkradio.com/Laura-Mize/2009/04/09/Teach-Me-To-Talk-with-Laura-and-Kate

it's curiously hard to get information on receptive language - there is almost too much on expressive language.

I had two boys with no hearing problems but one had quite significant receptive language delay and the other had really bad receptive language delay.

My advice would be to go in hard on the glue ear thing. If it isn't hearing but something neurological like a language problem or even ASD, then all the more reason to eliminate the hearing thing early so everyone can focus on the other issues as soon as possible. You don't want to have a 3 year old with language problems and still having the NHS insisting the cause is glue ear.....

good luck

oh, the people on that website also produce a DVD which I recommend and it is called "Teach me to Listen and Obey". Don't be put off by the title (or the awful background music). It shows a speech therapist working with children on receptive language from the 15 month stage up. It's a bit more positive than the radio show which upset some of us on the SN board when we listened to it.

Thank you Lingle, those links are great, I will check them out. What has been the treatment for your two boys and was it hard to get a diagnosis? Are they catching up now and how long did it take?

I really appreciate all the input I've had so far, your experiences are all so helpful.

hi musicmaiden, another one here with a similar ds. At 4.10, ASD was ruled out in favour of a lang disorder dx for ds, but at your ds' age, many things were similar. The key ones you've mentioned are failure to point, to follow a point and respond to his name. The typical age to do these things are 9-18 months so there is time yet for these to come. (I remember the utter relief when ds2 learned to point overnight, it just suddenly came.) The imitation is an excellent sign though, so take heart from that!

Have you looked at the CHAT test at all? (Checklist for Autism in Toddlers) available online, will try and find a link. It's not designed to be done until 18 months but ds1 didn't really pass it until 24 months, ds2 would have passed it at 12 months. It's quite a good indicator of whether the issues could be stemming from some kind of ASD related condition.

Finally, eye contact is a bit of a red herring. Many people with ASD do not find it comfortable to make eye contact, others find no problem. It isn't a reliable indicator either way at your ds' age.

You are absolutely right to be getting on to it now, but try not to make yourself too stressed with it all. It can be a bit overwhelming at first. Also, make sure you keep notes of your ds' progress, and update on a monthly basis. I found that so useful as it's very easy to get muddled about milestones later on.

you're very welcome musicmaiden,

I still say push on the glue ear front.

Anyway, to answer your question. With DS1, I just slowed down my language and simplified it. It seemed to happen instinctively from about 2.6 onwards - but all the techniques are in "It Takes Two to Talk" - published by Hanen, available from Winslow for about £32 and my favourite book of all time. Worth buying (if it was £320 or £3200 I think it would still be worth it actually) because it will make sure your techniques with him are as good as possible.

With DS2 it was the same problem, but much deeper, longer lasting and sometimes more frightening. The one (only) good bit of advice I got from a SALT was that he was a classic visual learner and it was true. Cue photos of all his everyday people and places by the back door, photos of groceries, photos of anything, pencil and pad in the handbag. he adored visual representations of choices, visual representations of "First this then that" etc,etc. Best book for this is "Visual Strategies for Improving communication" by Linda Hodgson, my second favourite book of all time. It's never too soon to start thinking about what he sees as opposed to what he hears and listens to. so the visuals really brought on his language.

I never went for diagnosis because I didn't find the ASD concept a helpful one for him or us as a family and my DH laughed when I told him about the triad of impairments. Instead I spent two years on the mumsnet SN board brainstorming.

Here are a few of the old threads which you may find worth reading. some of them contain gems of advice from "Moondog", a speech therapist. However, please do bear in mind how little your son is - on the threads below we were all working on 18 months plus milestones. However, the "Teach me to Talk" lady lays out all the receptive language milestones for you.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/750157-Radio-programmes-on-receptive-language-delay-www-teachmetotalk-com

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/752062-another-receptive-language-programme-on-the-radio-with-the-annoying-bits-taken-out

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/718476-I-39-m-thinking-I-might-try-the-visual-symbols

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/895654-the-famous-Moondog-quot-calendar-quot-post-re-teaching-time

have fun!

@musicmaiden Hi musicmaiden, I know it's been quite long you have posted. But I have been reading it again and again as I have a similar child who is 2 now and his behaviour and symptoms are exactly same as you mentioned.

We are trying to get him assessed but no dx yet. Your child must be a teenager now, how is he doing and what was the diagnosis and treatment you took?

An anxious mom

Hi @Lilpieceofmyheart

Goodness, this thread is a blast from the past! I was so worried.

Yes, DS1 is almost 13 now. I think the glue ear was indeed much worse than we thought. He had grommets inserted and he needed pretty much weekly speech therapy until he was about 7. He didn't really use words until he was at least 3, then it came slowly rather than overnight.

He was a late walker too and had AWFUL tantrums as a toddler but that may have been partly frustration. The eating was bad until was 8 or so and then improved, he is still fussy but far better than he was.

Academically he has always done really well, although he's very quirky and a late developer socially/emotionally - I wouldn't say he finds that side very easy.

So overall I would say he just was/is a late developer and had speech issues/glue ear.

I think the advice I received here is brilliant and if you are concerned you should absolutely chase up your GP and HV. Hearing tests are vital to rule out that problem. Feel free to expand on your concerns and I'd be happy to read.

Sorry, I see you must already be past GP/HV stage if you are seeking a DX. I am sure there are many Mumsnetters who have been down this road who can advise but you're doing everything you can and hopefully he will get the help he needs, if any! Hang in there and I hope it all comes together for you.

@musicmaiden

Hello, I know this is old but hopefully you are still able to see this. I hope everything has gone accordingly for your children, who will be much older now. :)

I just want to ask, as my almost 2yo has many of the same things described, but particularly the tongue, which me and my wife have never really seen anyone else with. You able to shed some light on what it ended up being and/or when/how it developed/stopped?

apologies if confusing not had any luck with HVs and external help so really wanting answers from someone who has experienced this.

Thanks in advance!