Negativity and whinge-festing. How do I deal with it?

[caligula]

That's it really. DS is 6, very very negative - a born pessimist. If I say "right, that's it, you can't have an ice-cream" his response is " does that mean I can never have an ice-cream ever, ever again?"

Drives me doolally.

And the worst thing is, it reminds me so much of his father. I am relentlessly, tiresomely cheeful. So is DD (3). But DS is like xp - negative, pessimistic, suspicious of new experiences. Needless to say, I never say any of this when with him (I don't want to emphasise his negativity even more and I don't want to push him into the role of family wet blanket) but God it drives me mad. Yesterday we had a lovely day out spoiled by DS's unremitting looking on the dark side of life. It alarms and saddens me how negative and pessimistic he is and makes me wonder if I'm doing something to exacerbate it. I try not to. But he knows I hate it. And I was reading a thread about negative friends or relatives recently where someone said something along the lines of "It's so wearing to live with someone who is relentlessly negative - it pulls you down - get this person out of your life". Well obviously, I don't have that option and don't want it either - I don't want to get my sweet little boy out of my life! I just want the little sod to be a bit bloody cheerful sometimes! Any comments?

Ha ha ha - Willy Whingebag! I'm going to steal that!

Hmm. Tony Hancock. Now there's a positive gloss!

My ds is so like that, he is 6 and I don't know if its just a silly stage he is going through, For example if he asks to play the computer and I say No you had half an hour yesterday, he totally exaggerates the whole situation by saying Oh its so unfair I'm not allowed to play the computer ever again and goes off to tell his Dad, it makes me so mad at times especially when he envolves other members of the family by saying I'm not allowed to do that anymore! Recently I have been saying to him Now you are being silly I did not say that! What I mean is you can play the computer at another time because you had a shot only yesterday!

We are quite fond of Willie Whingebag here!

Just a thought - try keeping a record of all the lovely things you've done, eg take photos and keep in a special book together, so when DS starts whinging about never doing nice things etc, you can look at book together. Might help him to focus on some of more positive things in life?

no advice but just to say we've got a similar situation here - 3 year old ds1 is always looking on the bleak side - just not a naturally happy go lucky child. 17 month old ds2 is the happiest, giggliest child I've ever known - a born performer and charmer and wins everyone over in seconds. I really feel for ds1 - he must feel even worse when everyone's clucking over ds2.

Great. Absolutely no help whatsoever. Although I agree with the advice about being silly - it's often the best way to get ds1 laughing - I know your ds is older, but I put ds1 into "hug prison", which turns into "tickle prison" - he's also very non-tactile, so this is often the only way to get a hug or cuddle, and is silly enough that he'll start laughing.