21 month old doesn't identify things in books

[zen1]

I am getting a bit worried about my DC3. He seems quite a happy, smiley sociable baby but doesn't really talk (although babbles a lot, copies expressions and sounds and says a couple of words). I'm not sure he understands as much as my other two did at the same age. Recently I've been trying to get him to identify photos of common objects in baby books (e.g "where's the banana?"), but he just doesn't seem interested. He'd rather play with the book, try and balance it etc than pay attention to what is on the pages. In general, he seems more babyish than DCs 1 and 2. He will fetch certain toys for me when I ask, but definately not every time. I know his hearing is fine because he sings lots of recognisable tunes very accurately. Just wanted some opinions really.

My DD probably IS on the spectrum and could identify hundreds of pictures at that age, so I wouldn't say not doing so is a big red flag!

(she can't now, at 3.9, incidentally)

I have read this thread with interest.

My dd2 was quite similar as a baby - not interested in books, very little vocab in comparison to her very chatty, bookish sister. She also used to display some odd behaviour such as putting her fingers in her ears when she was frightened, anxious or angry - it would be at something others considered fun such as watching a particular TV programme or a puppet show. You could read her emotions but a lot of the time she was very unhappy and going out was really difficult. I thought that she was way behind her sister in terms of her intelligence and dh was worried that she was autistic. She was so self-contained and - well, different.

It turned out that a lot of the unhappiness was due to the fact she had chronic tonsillitis and felt run down and miserable most of the time. However, the real change happened after she started at a Montessori nursery. The very experienced teacher took me aside and asked me if I was aware of how bright she is - it turns out she has a gift for maths. Whilst she was there she picked up an interest in letters and learned to read before she got to school. She's now very chatty, sociable, amazing at reading and spelling as well as maths - her teacher has assessed her as top level for KS1 SATS although she's only just finished yr1. Funnily enough she hasn't been interested in books even though she's such a good reader until very recently when she discovered the Horrible Histories.

She's still very quirky and is having to learn a bit about the rules of friendship, and it has taken her a while to enjoy pair work in class. Sometimes my eldest says that dd2 is 'embarassing' because she says things in assembly that aren't always relevant to what is being discussed. It's still hard to know what is going on in her world and what is very noticable is that she is as happy in her own company as she is with her friends, and she doesn't feel the need to get the approval of other people - or her teachers. But down the years I have asked all her teachers, as well as a very experienced friend, if dd2 is autistic and there is a resounding 'no'. She's just very bright and has a unique take on the world. But at 20 months I would have said she wasn't bright at all and had real problems brewing.

Don't know if this is relevant but I hope it helps a bit. Do you have a Monetssori near you?

Oh, another thing - she has a very strong kinaesthetic learning preference (which I thought was a load of rubbish until I saw it so markedly in dd2) - she loves books with flaps and mechanical things she can do. Which is why Montessori suited her so well of course.

Thanks for the breakdown of jargon Valium. If DS is diagnosed with possible ASD, would he be able to get access to ABA free or is it something you have paid for privately? Had to laugh at the thought of a cheese slice or satsuma as a reward for DS as he refuses to touch some food because of its texture. He would be very interested in a wind up car though! You have given me hope, so thank you .

Fanjo, thanks for sharing about your DD. It is just so difficult to know whether something is worth worrying about or not. I am just comparing DS3 to my older two at the same age. However, it is true to say that I've spent less time "teaching" him things (just don't have the time!) than the other two. I feel quite bad about it really. I chat to him all the time, but it occured to me the other day that I haven't actually spent much time pointing to things specifically and telling him what they are.

Spiritmum, it was very interesting to read about your DD. I can't say that DS has suffered many illnesses (though is susceptable to ear infections), but is happy and smiley most of the time. I'm glad the nursery identified such strengths in your DD. We do have a Montessori near us, but DS3 will probably go to the same pre-school as DS2 which was excellent (if he learns to walk in the next year!). I will try your idea of more interactive books. He does love
experimenting with rolling things, balancing things and spinning things and putting obects in different containers etc, so maybe he needs something more tactile. Incidently, your DD sounds very much like my DS1 - very, very happy in his own company and not worried about getting other people's approval. In fact in reception, the teacher was concerned about him because he didn't appear to be learning anything, but she didn't seem to understand he just wasn't motivated. By the end of year 1, he was doing brilliantly (and he had some ASD-like traits as a toddler, but I wasn't worried because he seemed bright).

You usually have to pay for aba - initially at least.

Hello ,
I have similar concerns with my DS1..I see this thread is rather old but hoping to get some perspective based on how ur appointment went and how ur DS is now..

Long shot I know how is your grown up son is now ? ☺️