I want to change my baby name (6 months old)

[GG300]

I am having quite a strong baby name regret. My husband and I couldn’t agree on a name at the time so we came to a ‘middle ground’ that neither of us loved but we came to an agreement on. I used one of my first choice name as a middle name.

the first name has never quite sat perfectly with me. It’s quite uncommon and is often met by surprise/questioning as to why we have picked it.

I feel after 6 months the name should fit and it just doesn’t. Everytime I say it or hear someone say it it makes me feel almost a little uncomfortable.

I think I would like to change to her middle name but am worried about judgement. However I am more worried that I will regret this name forever

My sons 2 and I still hate his name !!! His dad wouldn't agree to the one I wanted in the end we chose his name from 2 others as we were in the car to the registry office ( well him and our other kids did ) when he was 6 weeks old . I went on the have another boy and refused point bank to call him anything other than the name i picked for our last child .

I changed my son's name while he was in pre-school. It was absolutely the right thing to do and I've never regretted it for one second.

I think it is easier to do it when they are under one year old. I think you can just write it in on the birth certificate or something like that.

When older, it's still easy. You just print a deed poll form from the internet and fill it in and get two witnesses to sign it. No trouble at all.

inlaws thought I was nuts, but that doesn't matter one time bit in the grand scheme of things.

I changed my son’s name at 7months. They just edit his birth certificate. There’s a field at the end of the birth certificate that says something like “name after baptism”, and they put the new name there (even though we aren’t Christian and he wasn’t baptised). Costs about £46. We haven’t changed the PP yet, but that is apparently more hassle (you need to attest photos and provide proof of new name being used, etc.). Our name change was completely different, not a middle name, etc.

I think it is fine to do this but I would change them around ‘officially.’

I have name changed for this, but I was always going to be one name, let’s say Rachel. My middle name was going to be Helen, surname Harrison. Dad decided it would be amusing to call me Helen Rachel Harrison so my initials were HRH. Funny joke to him but a lifetime headache for me; I’m not kidding. Bank accounts, exam certificates, passports, tickets, even my fucking wedding day was tarnished by being called the ‘wrong’ name.

I appreciate he meant no harm but it really has been a pain in the arse and I just wish he’d never done it. (And the number of people who just can’t accept that my ‘real’ name is not Helen …)

To add, I 100% do not regret the name change. We tried the new name out for 1-2 months before changing it officially. Best decision we made.

I changed my DS’s name at 6 months. DH chose the original name and I never liked it but thought I’d get used to it. I didn’t and it got worse over time. It caused me quite a lot of distress at the time. I’m so glad we changed it. His new name is a completely different one (we added it to the beginning so his old name is now his second name, and he has 2 middle names now). The old name is still on his long birth certificate and the new name is in box 17 (I think) at the bottom. Family and friends got used to it quite quickly and no one seemed to think it was a big deal

We did the same as you but one question I did have is if going forward he will always have to declare he had another name at birth? You know in legal forms where is asks if you’ve ever been known by something else, will we always have to put yes and his original name?

@DisorganisedMummyTurningOrgnaised , The name change is recorded on the birth certificate and that's enough.

I know someone who is fully known by her middle name as was only when she got married and they said her first name (and everyone was like whattt?!) that ever came up. I think the regret would be worse than the short lived change over period so I’d say do it!

So you and hubby couldn't agree, compromised and used your first choice as a middle name. Now you want to use the middle name alone, IE, if you and hubby can't agree you just use your first choice anyway?

No advice but just came here to say I'm in the same boat with my 8 week old :(

I don’t have experience with this but I’d say just change it asap so it’s not confusing for baby and others.
especially if you’re going to go for the middle name, not that much of a change.
might be a cute/funny family story in the future

My mother used her second name; so did my Aunt (her sister), and two of their (four) brothers. In fact looking through my family tree, I can see it's not at all unusual. So I wouldn't worry about any judgements.

BC can't be altered if you live in Scotland. Not sure about the rest of the UK.

My name was switched by deed poll by my parents 6+ months later - this was 30+ years ago. I’m kind of glad they did it as my previous first name was a very traditional name and suites better as a middle name.

Naming children is so hard and a lot of it is gut and intuition so I’d change it while I can (and while they are still young)

edited to correct a typo

@ClareVoiance
Boris Johnson is Alexander/Al to his family. He used his middle name publicly to make himself stand out. Other former PMs used their first or middle names, notably Hilda Thatcher.
I'm pretty sure her first name was actually Margaret.

Anyway OP, probably best to change it officially at this stage to avoid future hassles, as long as your OH is ok with it. It used to be quite common to be known by your middle name - presumably first name was after family members . My DGM spent a lot of time in hospital and got very fed up being called Elizabeth since she'd never been known as that.

@softlyfallsthesnow . She was Margaret Hilda known as Hilda. A few of the former PMs went by the middle name.
I know some people IRL who have gone from being known as middle name to using the first name as adults. Usually the first name is 'easier' (spelling/pronunciation/background etc) than the middle name.

Anyway OP, probably best to change it officially at this stage to avoid future hassles, as long as your OH is ok with it. ...

Agree

I’ve wondered the same thing. I think I might have for his first passport - but I don’t think I have since (including passport renewals). I probably wouldn’t worry about it now unless his long birth certificate was being used for ID (just to avoid confusion)

Sorry what? Do you mean Iris????

It really shouldn't be a massive deal should it...

A bit Iof mild curiosity from family /friends and then they should get used to /use the new name...

Pal's daughter has recently changed her name to a completely different name... No issue... I'm doing my best to call them by their new name... That's it...

I'm sure parents worry more than needed.

Any naysayers??! They're idiots... It's really not their decision /business is it?!

No Isis. It’s a girls name but unfortunately the terrorist organisation became notorious following her birth so they changed the name. There are still many people still called Isis though.

My sister and I are both called by our middle names. Occasionally if someone sees my full name written and calls me by my first Christian name I'm unaware they are talking to me. But then that's never been a problem. I'm glad I get to use my middle name as I don't like the other one.

@ClareVoiance I've never heard that she was called Hilda, apart from disparagingly when she was pm, so I'm a bit surprised. I'll take your word for it.

Honestly, who cares?
If you and your dh agree then just do it. Tell people the initial choice just didn't sit well or seem to fit. End of.

We have a lot of Muslim families at our school. Quite a few children are called Mohammed on the register but known by a different first name. Doesn’t seem to cause a problem for them.