Apparently my sons have ‘naughty boy’ names…

[Perplexed0522]

A friend made a light hearted comment (supposedly) about my two children’s names last week and I am convinced she’s a MN member seeing as she used to the term ‘naughty boy name’.

My husband has got Scottish roots and before we TTC the plan was always that we would honour his history. He used to live in Scotland but moved to England to settle down with me and as all his family are still in Scotland we felt Scottish names would be a nod to them.

We had a son first and called him Arran (pronounced Arun) after one of the Isles and we joked that if our second child was a girl we would call her Skye.

Second child turned out to be another gorgeous boy so we called him Lewis, after one of the other Scottish Isles.

My friend is pregnant which is why we were taking about names and that’s when she said (with a giggle) that it was really brave of me to give both my sons names that are associated with being naughty. She laughed it off but it really hurt.

I’ve since come on here (we have been thinking about TTC number 3) and I have seen Lewis be labelled as a ‘naughty boy’s name ☹️

I know a child’s name doesn’t define them but I feel so guilty that I may have given both my boys a name that has negative associations ☹️

Has anyone else been in a similar boat and how did you move on from it?

I think Mumsnet is a world of its own. In real life I'd expect people to keep thoughts of "naughty boy names" to themselves. Online there's no filter. I'll openly say I hate Margot and Oscar which is mumsnet blasphemy.

Your “friend” is being ridiculous!
Your boys have lovely names. FWIW, the naughtiest boy in DDS class is Hugo. He’s known as horrible Hugo.

@inmyslippers I’ll stand with you slippers. Cannot stand Margot.

They are absolutely lovely names! I think you've got great, timeless taste. But that's because they're names I'd pick too.

@Ignoranceisbliss44

Don’t be a dope. It’s a name forum, people are going to express views on names. If you don’t want to see comments from people who might not like your kids’ names, don’t come on the forum.

It’s not remotely the same as being rude about someone’s kid’s name IRL.

So not Ronnie and Reggie Kray then?

It could be worst someone commented that my DS name sounded like an American porn star! I laugh about it now.

I never had those names down as naughty names! Love the comment about your friend having a mean girl name😁

To be honest I think we all have associations with names because of experience. The only name I'd worry about and actually made me raise an eyebrow when I heard it was Loki, and yes he was living up to it at the time!

I’m in Scotland and those definitely aren’t naughty boy names here. Most name associations I have are related to specific people so I’d say they vary widely from place to place and person to person. Just because one person thinks that (and was rude enough to tell you) doesn’t mean anyone else will.

If there was such a thing, those names aren't that

I’ve never come across the concept of “naughty names”
They are both lovely names with a beautiful meaning.

Thank you everyone for your lovely comments and reassurances.

The thread has also made me realise how unkind my friend had been….even if she was laughing it off as a light hearted comment how could she think it wouldn’t hurt me.

I love the names we chose and I suppose at the end of the day that’s all that matters really. I just don’t want people like my friend putting negative ideas into my children’s heads about their names.

It is when I was so distraught with my mental health that I came very close to changing his name. Admittedly I had just been through a heelish time after he came out of PICU.
It brings everything back to me. How I felt at that time.
For the record his name is Kai. He loves his name as much as I do.

Your names are lovely.

My youngest is called Daniel. I made the mistake of mentioning this to my mum who immediately branded it a ‘naughty boy’s name’. We didn’t have another name we liked. It would be outing to tell the whole story but immediately after he was born something changed her mind and she apologised and said she thought it was the perfect name.

20 + years of working with children and in education and never have I heard those names being included in that description.

I've heard the concept and it's usually actually judgemental in that someone knows a child who happens to be PITA and also have what is (awfully imo) a chav name.

Yet for every child like this if you've had as much contact with children as I have you can find as many that are named the same and are perfectly acceptable members of society.

@Perplexed0522, don't worry about it. I know a very affluent, well heeled, well spoken family with 3 children named after Scottish Islands: Arran, Iona and Ailsa.

I love place names as names if they are meaningful to the family. DD's middle name is after a part of the Peak District we used to live in. Mine is an overseas place where my DDad lived before I was born.

I'll go against the flow of the thread and say there are 'naughty boy's names' and 'mean girl's names', in that certain names will appeal to certain parents

Aaron/Aaron/Arun/Aron/Aran is borderline. Arran with a connection is let off the hook. Lewis is slightly because of the association with a celebrity, but again there's the scottish connection to let you off the hook

I think of NBNs as being celtic or other nationality names where there is only a tenuous connection, celebrity-inspired or surname/noun names, and more recently, the very religious names used by non-religious parents.

In my experience recently, the little boys and girls I've seen behaving annoyingly have had hipster names but I think maybe they were annoying because of 'the 'let them express their creativity parenting'.

2 of my boys have the naughtiest of naughty names (J & K) They are adults now. One works with children with SEN. The other has SEN and is still in education learning life skills, and is so happy and polite he charms everyone and everyone loves him. Both of them went through school without getting in trouble.

But they'll never be high court judges, oh no, devastated, so sad.

Beautiful beautiful Scottish names ❤️ she is a walloper

It's rubbish. I know many children who don't fit the stereotype of 'naughty boy names' or indeed, 'well-behaved' names.

Classic names tend to be the latter, more contemporary ones the former. Parenting and shared values have far more important an impact on behaviour than any name.

I had a Lewis in my last class who was absolutely lovely. Thoughtful, respectful and engaged, but popular too. He was quietly confident in himself and felt no need to act out. No teacher worth their salt will form a prejudice against any child due to a name or even past behaviour, anyway.

@AtomHeartMotherOfGod , teachers are only human, and I expect that there are teachers out there who will have some sort of preconception of a child based on their name.

The NBNs aren't necessarily 'chavvy' - you are right, it's the parenting.

@takingmytimeonmyride , you see, that's where you went wrong. Had you called them sensible, aspirational, names they'd be barristers or heart surgeons.
[I think barristers and brain surgeons have all sort of names not just WASP ones]

I never heard of this, but did do a google and saw a list that had naughty and nice names. Absurd opinions on there of ashes with some very lovely names listed as naughty.

ignore your friend and anyone who has that opinion.

Lewis / Louis are not naughty boy names - they are cheeky (in a nice way) names

Naughty: Jayden
Kayden
Riley
Tyler
Cheeky (but possibly could be promoted up): Alfie
Connor
Callum
Kyle
Kai
Cheeky(nice): Charlie
Lewis
Louis
Eddie
Lovely (but not in a wimpy way): Matthew
Sam

This is all (100% true) IME (schools 15years +) but I agree with others that I wouldn't have said this to you

news.bbc.co.uk/1/mobile/education/8243684.stm

There may well be a correlation between behaviour and name - the type of parent who likes certain names may also have a certain style of parenting?