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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Thomas or Tommy?

75 replies

pearlypeg · 28/08/2021 09:19

Baby will have a (second) cousin Thomas, known day to day as Thomas.

Baby would be known as Tommy.

What's mumsnet's thoughts on the BC... Thomas or Tommy?

Currently Thomas is ranked 17 where we live, and Tommy is 27... so people must be doing both!

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twinningatlife · 28/08/2021 11:52

Personally I wouldn't use the same name as some else in the family especially at the level of a second cousin etc - it's not like the name is in honour of a grandparent?

Maui69 · 28/08/2021 12:06

Thomas 100%

Ninkanink · 28/08/2021 12:09

I would definitely put Thomas on the birth certificate. Then just use tommy day-to-day right from the beginning.

Original poster
pearlypeg · 28/08/2021 12:30

@twinningatlife The name is in honour of a grandparent - and baby and his second cousin are unlikely to spend any time together other than the (very odd occasion!) of family wedding or funeral tbh! So I'm not too concerned about that.

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Original poster
pearlypeg · 28/08/2021 12:30

@LampBookPicture ❤️

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Oldbirdy · 28/08/2021 12:31

I have a Thomas known as Tommy. Fully expected him to become Tom as he got older but his two best mates are also Tom so he has resolutely stuck with Tommy and refuses to answer to Tom. It suits him even known he's an older teen.

Original poster
pearlypeg · 28/08/2021 12:32

@daisypond I know what you're saying - I haven't known any teens formalising their names though, most switch to nickname versions. Andy from Andrew, Jordy from Jordan, etc.

@kickupafuss this is what I'm thinking - I know a few people who use a nickname or variation of the name on their bc day to day, and all fine it irritating!

I also don't want to be twee though. It's a hard one!

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Original poster
pearlypeg · 28/08/2021 12:36

@RicherThanYew It's a hard one isn't it!

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Classica · 28/08/2021 12:38

I'm not always a stickler for a 'full' name. For example I think Archies are better off just being Archie rather than the awful Archibald, but Thomas is one of those lovely solid names that would be an asset to him and you can still call him Tommy day to day.

Original poster
pearlypeg · 28/08/2021 12:41

@alrightfella Thanks for the honest perspective! I'd always automatically have gone for the longer / formal name, but my brother has a 'different' name on his bc to what he goes by and constantly moans that he finds it really annoying.

Things like work email addresses are always set up as longname@ and then people don't know what to call him by, or utility companies call him up and ask his name as a security question and he can't remember what he's set it up under 😂🙈, etc etc.

I can see the benefit in flexibility too though!

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RuthW · 28/08/2021 12:50

Thomas without a doubt

GintyMcGinty · 28/08/2021 12:50

[quote LampBookPicture]@GintyMcGinty saying "sorry" after writing something unnecessarily mean doesn't make it any better. [/quote]
Awesome thanks for the advice

LampBookPicture · 28/08/2021 12:55

@GintyMcGinty You're welcome. Hope that helps.

GintyMcGinty · 28/08/2021 13:00

[quote LampBookPicture]@GintyMcGinty You're welcome. Hope that helps.[/quote]
Really helps. Thanks you are amazing.

alrightfella · 28/08/2021 13:06

@pearlypeg I found the primary school used her full name for absolutely everything even though we said many times that we used nickname instead.

Secondary school was much more flexible although her school email address was her full name and all her certificates always use her full name.

Things like doctors and anything official is always full name. It may be better if we'd used it occasionally but we have never ever called her that.

If you are never planning on using Thomas I would advise against putting it on the birth certificate.

alrightfella · 28/08/2021 13:07

I wish I could edit but passport, driving license, bank accounts all use full name. But it's a name that she has never been called.

thecognoscenti · 28/08/2021 13:07

Definitely Thomas, 100%.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 28/08/2021 13:10

Tommy is the naughty child at school to me. Thomas/Tom are much better imo

I seriously wouldn't worry about work email addresses, it's not like there's a universal law that has to be followed. Where I work we have firstname.lastname and we have both James and Jim, Peter and Peete, no one is made to have an email address with a name they don't use. Does that actually happen in other places?

LampBookPicture · 28/08/2021 13:14

@GintyMcGinty ❤️

episcomama · 28/08/2021 13:17

Thomas and Tom are lovely (my Dads name) but I hate, hate Tommy!

Original poster
pearlypeg · 28/08/2021 13:19

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair That was my bro's experience, yep! All done by HR in a huge company and an ordeal to change. He now at 33 has learned to answer to both names, because many in his work wouldn't know him as his name... despite never having used formal name elsewhere.

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Original poster
pearlypeg · 28/08/2021 13:21

And @AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair it also seems to be @alrightfella 's experience... a lot of places which run on paperwork (like schools) will automatically use a registered bc name and don't have many mechanisms in place to easily alter that.

Otherwise it would be a no brainer to use Thomas! I'm just concerned I'm creating more hassle for DS by doing so 🤷🏻‍♀️

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GintyMcGinty · 28/08/2021 14:08

[quote LampBookPicture]@GintyMcGinty ❤️[/quote]
❤️ you too hun xxx

topcat2014 · 28/08/2021 14:13

I am Tom. Nothing else. No need to put a more 'formal' name on the birth certificate to keep the ancestors happy

topcat2014 · 28/08/2021 14:13

My youngest niece calls me Tommy which is cute