Harmony test came back positive for T21.

[Eversoslowly]

Got the call three days ago. I know this blood test is 99% accurate. I am devastated, scared, feeling sick and don't know what to do. I change my mind every 5 minutes. How can I ever reach a decision? It's just to heartbreaking to think about anything at this moment. I wish I would just wake up and this was all a dream. Yet I know I need to take an informed decision soon, even if there's no right or wrong but I need to be sure about it. Any advice from mom's who have been in a similar situation?

My chances for Down's syndrome from the combined test previously were 1 in 5 but I kept thinking positively, esp since there were no other markers indicating any health issues. The baby looked perfect on all scans (except for the NT being 2.9), it also had a nasal bone.

I'll have an amnio to confirm results tomorrow. I'm 16 weeks along now and can feel the baby moving. This was a much wanted pregnancy, we were ttc for years and finally succeeded through IVF (FET). I am 42yo now and am not sure if I'll ever be able to conceive again. My partner said he'll support me whatever decision I make but I can feel he's in favor of a termination. We also have a young DS who we have to think about.
I know this is such a personal decision but it would really help me to hear from other mums who had to go through similar. Feeling alone.

Sorry, notinagreatplace you are talking rubbish. The SN forum here is heavily skewed to parents with children on the autistic spectrum - totally different circumstances. I have a son with DS, he's 4 and I have worked since he was a baby and know lots of other mums who do - including a very high-flying lawyer.

In relation to the 'depth' of learning difficulty, my paed said that my child was an open book just like other children and the more we did with him when he was young the better his progress would be.

Everyone's "gut feeling" is 'I can't cope with this', its human nature. But lots of people do cope, and in fact do more than 'cope' they have fulfilling family lives where DS is just a small part of what makes them a family.

Finally, the way we treat and respect children and people with learning difficulties is, thankfully, changing, so comparing your situation with people who have a 15 year old, or a 25 year old with DS might not be helpful and the interventions those children would have received would be totally different to what children today would receive.

I work too - self employed and just about to set up another new business. DS goes to a 'normal' local montessori nursery and is loving it. They told me they were expecting that he might be a problem child because he has DS but that they couldn't have been more wrong.

I don't know that much about Down's so primarily my advice was and is that the OP should look at DS specific forums to get a bit of a feel for what life is like with a DS child/adult. I do think that that gives a different perspective from what people will say in this context.

It's great that some of you are able to work. The stats, however, suggest that that is unusual - 60% of mothers as a whole work, 16% of mothers of disabled children work. I have only limited experience of Down's so perhaps that 16% are all or mostly mothers of children with Down's/similar but the stats are pretty stark that it is much harder to work if you have a child with special needs and I don't think it's wrong to take that into account.

This blog was linked to on mumsnet a while ago and is really good on the subject - premmeditations.wordpress.com/2014/03/09/the-invisible-woman-working-with-a-disabled-child/

I don't want to start a bun fight on this - the OP doesn't need that. She needs to gather the information that she needs and figure out what she wants to do, without judgement.

But you can't say it's harder to work, lots of those people may choose not to work for a myriad of reasons.

OP there's a facebook group called future of downs that you can join, I think we now have a section specifically for people with and ante-natal diagnosis if you wanted to chat more with them.