to sell insist my Husband sells his xbox thingy?

[Davygirl]

Hi first post here so pls be gentle althoughI have been an avid lurker.

Here is my problem.

Mmy DH is always on his computer till the wee hours and it is affecting our relationship, He plays this real violent war game every single night which is bad enough, however he now has the habbit of getting drunk on vodka whilsit playing, I told him that i want it gone which then resulted in a big fight but he has a short fuse and told me to do my rip (whatever that means), this game has made him think he is 10ft tall which he is not and I miss the old him.

I'm tempted to sell his computer to a friend for her ds while my dh is at work.

am I being unreasonable?

[Davygirl]

Hey Roberta, can't see me ever getting into the computer like me ex did. My new man is great, he asks for nothing and goes out of his way to please me. I'm looking for something special for his christmas as a thanks but it's blumkin hard to think of anything.

anyway glad to hear all is well. Have a happy Happy Christmas and a happy new year X O

[adrenalinejunkie]

I feel for you , my dh has an addictive personality if it's not one game it's another or the iPhone . We had a huge row about a racing game he used to play he would have a major tantrum if he didn't win sometimes throwing the control on the floor , he went through a phase of drinking too much when depressed which is thankfully over , I told him he was acting like a child and I was starting to look at him differently , even his sister took him to one side and said he would end up a lonely man with nothing but an xbox and a load of games ,we sorted it out he still has the odd episode when a new game comes out bit we compromise now he has a couple of hours play then it's my turn and we watch a film of my choiceits working well so far . I'm sorry you are going through this they make you feel like the bad woman who is spoiling their fun do t they ?

[DuelingFanjo]

you guys!

[robertaincroydon]

Hey Davygirl!!

Soooooooo glad to hear everything is good with you.

You will not believe what has happened here!After much stress and getting nowhere trying to get dh off xbox i did the one and only thing i could think of to get him to notice me, thats right i bought my own xbox and started playing it in the bedroom and joining in his games lol.

At first it was great fun and we actually comunicated but since Call of Duty Black Ops came out it has turned into a bit of a nightmare because i am much better at the game than him (i pwn his ass, as he would say).There is this little remote controlled car bomb thing and i get him with it all the time lol.His mates have all taken the piss out of him and last week he blocked me because i prestiged before him, what a noob!

His friend told me he relied to much on camping and getting his predator,harrier and chopper out in MW2.

So if u cant beat em join em and pwn em :o

[Davygirl]

Hi Girls, thought you deserved an update on my situation. 6 months on and life is great, my not so dh is out of my life for good and I'm glad. I have a new boyfriend (John) who treats me fairly and only today bought me an Ipad, my ex would never buy me anything. not only that he satisfys me in ways my old dh could not, Apologies for my spelling but I have had a glass or 2 of wine tonight and are having a great time, tread through this post again and can't believe the mess my ex had me in, The BASTARD! , heard from a friend that he spent the weekend in jail for racism so I'm glad I got rid, no doubt he'l blame everyonr else.

Roberta, I hoope you are in a good place like me now also, infact I think I'll send you and email.

lot's of love DG x

[robertaincroydon]

Oh davygirl thats terrible.

I am still here doing the same as before.My dh maybe a lot of bad things but at least he has never been a bedwetter!

My dh has bought me a new blender and even made me my favourite smoothie and gave it to me in bed on sunday morning

[DuelingFanjo]

What is this obsession some men have with Booster Killing. It's like some weird sense of justice, that they HAVE to stop someone else from 'cheating' as if their life depends on it.

By the way - if you are, as I suspect, a bloke pretending to be a woman who is pissed off and drawing on the experience of your poor partner then it's a shame that you let the person you love go to bed crying.

If you are a genuine woman in distress you can, if the kids are his, expect financial support from him.

[Davygirl]

Well I should have listened to you girls, looks like my dh new lease of life lasted a whole 2 days and then took a turn for the worst.

Everything started on Friday night when I figured we would have another night together but it turns out this was not acceptable to him as he had "spent the last 2 nights with you" , I then thought maybe I was being unreasonable so agree that he could play his games on the understanding that he would come to bed a decent time. How wrong was I!!

Next thing i know I wake up at 3am and he is nowhere to be seen!, I go downstairs and there he is on his game shouting, swearing and being abusive, he then looks at me and just says "don't start" , this then made me go mad, I shouted , he shouted and his parting words were "if you're not happy then fuck off" , so i went to bed in tears and he seemed like he could not even give a shit.

A while later he comes to bed I pretended to be a sleep, , I wake up the following morning and our bed is soaking wet! When i realize why i scream at him to wake up, I tell him that he drank so much he wet the bed, he denies this saying he spilt his glass of water when he came to bed, I told him he was a liar as I was awake when he came to bed and stormed out the house taking the kids and went to my mothers.

Yesterday I had a txt from him simply saying "I'm glad you're gone and I can fill your space easily" , I couldn't believe when I read that txt, how dare he say that after all i have done for him? and how can he just throw away 15 years?.

I have now decided to move out for good and plan on going to cab like was recommended by a few here, I don't even feel this is worth fighting for anymore i feel, in fact I know i deserve better. Maybe I should have took his cousins offer up that he made early into my relationship, he told me, his cousin {my dh} was no good and he would be better for me.

I have been told to look at the positives by mum and I then think of my kids and that does help, I just can't believe how much he has changed over the years, from a loving caring husband and father to a bedwetter!, and I have just finished potty training our youngest!

anyway I'm home now gathering some stuff listening to my favourite duffy cd while he is out at the football. I won't be able to post as much now as the pc is in my parents living room but I'll try and update after I have spoke to cab.

Once again thanks for every ones help, I feel with the support from my parents and from you lot I can do this and I'll show that bastard I don't need him or his money!.

[DuelingFanjo]

meh.

[Boostworld]

Hi all, long time lurker, first time poster.

YANBU - without being rude, I think the you need to take decisive action and stop being such a GEB; end his xbox playing time or you're just going to end up more unhappy.

My DP plays a similar game most nights, I think it's called 'medieval warfare' or something similar. He would stay up til 2am most nights and get up late rather than looking for jobs. I found the trick was to keep talking while he had his silly xbox headset on, as otherwise he just seemed to be shouting nonsense at the TV all night.

He tried to get me to play it but I had a quick blast and wasn't very good at it, he seemed to be quite happy about that as he doesn't seem to win very often! ;)

Good luck x

[expatinscotland]

I wouldn't bother going out alone at night.

Except to go to my new job that I'd started working to save up the money to leave a person who'd rather have a relationship with a computer game than a real person.

[Xenia]

Yes, you rarely lose out if you aim to earn a fortune but relying on men for money isn't always wise.

Anyway the principal issue on the thread is one of addication actually. There are 12 step programmes for computer game addiction. The games and plenty of other things people do, activates pleasure things - dopamine or something. So he's probably more ill and bad but like most of these things unless the person seeks help others telling them to may not help too much. May be if she started going out alone at night all dressed up that might get him a bit worried.

[expatinscotland]

I'm beginning to agree, Xenia.

On a visit home, I found out one of my cousins recently divorced.

I always thought her husband was a jerk, but she always had just as big a job as he did.

They can't presently sell their house in this market (in the US) so he lives in the old nanny's flat.

Some people said stuff like, 'He wanted a more domestic wife, she didn't cook blah blah blah.'

I said, 'Well, then he should have made more money if he wanted all that plus the huge house in a great neighbourhood/cars/private schools for the kids, etc. Why the hell should she have gone out to work all the hours God sends and then been expected to kowtow to his 1950s standards, too? She's well rid of him!'

And because she always had a good career, she is not left in poverty or having to start all over again because he decided he wanted a bimbo after 16 years of marriage and 2 kids together.

[Xenia]

Some of you lot are just incredible. Get on to the feminism threads. It's unbelievable.

"My dh was playing it again last night too.I don't think I have the heart to stop making his food or doing his washing etc he might leave for good and I need the money he provides."

Why can't women in 2010 earn their own money, outearn their own men? So people tolerate bad behaviour because they are financially dependent on a man? This just proves my point that women should have proper careers and if either of a couple has to stop work then always let it be the man. He wouldnt' get much game played if he were minding 3 under 5s and doing the housework.

[ILovePlayingDarts]

Given that the South Koreans (a hi-tech society) have a kind of gaming "boot camp" where gamers go to have their addiction to gaming sorted, this isn't really a laughing matter.

[robertaincroydon]

never said i was a avid lurker but anyways i kind of know just wanted u to confirm thanks i googled it anyway.

I will just ignore him

[SusieCarmichael]

if you are an 'avid lurker' you should definitely know what a troll is

[robertaincroydon]

what is a troll?

[SusieCarmichael]

oh fgs this is a troll! ignore him

(i don't usually say this on a thread but this is not a touchy subject so i don't care )

[robertaincroydon]

I am 27 and he is 37 but i think he has the mental age of 15 yes!

I followed advice on here about not doing anything for him like cooking, cleaning, ironing etc thats why i never cooked his dinner.

Not everyone has a perfect partnership, if u have nothing but critisim i suggest u dont add your views.

[expatinscotland]

Refused to make his dinner? Putting things in the microwave and throwing them out the back door? Are you both 15?

[robertaincroydon]

Well it kicked off last night!I refused to make his dinner and told him he needs to stop playing childish games all night this ended in a BIG argument.Long story short i put his joypad thing in the microwave and killed it and his response was to throw my blender out the back door where it still is this morning in several pieces.He stormed out after that and i havnt seen him since.

All this over a bloody xbox.

Think the microwave is broken now.

Too early for a glass of wine?

[Davygirl]

Roberta I'm in no position to offer advice but if your dh is not even willing to talk then calling a cab maybe be your best option afterall, my hubby is at the gym jsu tnow and I'm looking forward to another good night in with no sill computer game.

[Downdog]

YANBU to be upset.

I could not live with someone who habitually played these games - esp not the fighting ones.

Not sure I'd sell it behind his back though - tempting as it may be. Wouldn't you feel better if you ran it over with the car? Just kidding (kind of).

I would have a very frank conversation with him - me or the game kind of thing.

[robertaincroydon]

Thanx davygirl but i feel so far behind you now.My dh won't even have a small chat with me like yours has, i just feel he thinks so little of me atm i feel 2 feet tall

I am going to go to cab today and see where i stand if i leave him.It can't be much worse than it is can it?

I mean i have been fuked by a machine, a stupid game!

He aint gonna get anything ironed today and he aint gonna see no booty either, he can shag his bloody xbox for all i care!!!