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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that liking the colour pink does not mean that you are anti-femisnist?

40 replies

poshsinglemum · 23/03/2010 21:23

Sure this has been done before.

I am a feminist-I have a pink lap top. I like it. As a feminist I celebrate my femininity. Men have been known to wear pink too so is it even a ''girly'' colour.

I also quite like the look of that pink car cited in another thread.

I think that the pink stinks campaign is missing the point. Sexualisation of our children stinks. Pink does not equal sexy in my eye. Pink is a nice, fluffy, warm friendly colour so leave it alone!I gues sit would get tiresome to have pink everything but a touch of pink brightens my day!

OP posts:
Zooropa · 23/03/2010 21:27

YABU because..
the pink stinks campaign isn't about not wearing/liking pink, its about it being almost the only option in many situations - the expectation that girls will want and like pink, the prevalence of pink glittery fluffy things. I like pink and I think I'm a feminist.

2shoes · 23/03/2010 21:29

yanbu

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 23/03/2010 21:30

I think it's fair to say that a lot of girls' clothes are pink but there are also other colours including black,red, green, yellow and blue.There are also plenty of blue jeans for baby girls now as well as frilly pink dresses.
Mabe clothing companies are cottoning onto the fact that we want choice.
But also, what is wrong with dressing girls up in feminine attire? DD lives mostly in jeans but I do have a few pink things.

OP posts:
Zooropa · 23/03/2010 21:34

You have to look quite hard in my experience to find decent clothes in for example, nice bright primary colours - there is a sea of baby pink and blue. On the face of it I don;t think it seems like a big deal - but if you read the article I linked to you will see why some people think it is.

dittany · 23/03/2010 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrmRenewed · 23/03/2010 21:36

Hate it. Not because I dislike the colour per se but for what it stands for. All the passive cute sweet crap that girls are supposed to like and display in their behaviour.

ButterPie · 23/03/2010 21:36

I find it really hard to find non-pink stuff for DD2 (4mo), even denim dungarees have pink flowers embroidered on them, as if the designers are in a panic that we won't know they are for girls. I have no objection to pink in itself, both DDs have some lovely pink frilly dresses, but they also have stuff in other colours that I had to search high and low for.

My 17 yo sister was disgusted with me for putting DD1 (3yo) in bright red boys socks as apparently I risk giving her gender issues

TheCrackFox · 23/03/2010 21:37

It is such a wishy washy colour. I have never liked it.

mnistooaddictive · 23/03/2010 21:49

I agree PSM. I love pink, wear it lots, both DD have lots of pink clothes., In fact DD1 sometimes refuses to wear any other colour. I have a Maths degree and never wear makeup. I will encourage my DC to achieve as much as they want and not be fluffy light weights though.

TiggyD · 23/03/2010 22:00

I don't think feminism should really involve putting lots of restrictions on what you can do.

OrmRenewed · 23/03/2010 22:05

Well tiggy, manufacturers do. And they do it for the bottom line, no other more enlightened reason. If I could see a rack of nicely unisex childrens' clothes in Adams of all the lovely colours available to man, I wouldn't have a problem with dressing DD in pink. But as I usually have a selection of pink/purple and related shades, with various flowers/butterflies and 'suitable' characters from 'girls's' TV programmes, I really resent it.

As it happens DD is now 10 and would eat her own head rather than wear pink.

nighbynight · 23/03/2010 22:07

YANBU
I am going to buy Barbie Computer Engineer, and sit her on my spare monitor at work.

Sassybeast · 23/03/2010 22:16

Didn't the Pinkstinks campaign team have to disappear off the radar for a while with promises of 'returning in the new year' with clearer objectives ? I can't give any credibility to a 'campaign' which appeared to have been conceived over a few bottles of wine, had such a confused approach and was completely unable to deal with the attention that it DID receive, particularly the negative comment. And I'm personally bewildered by people who can 'only' find girls clothes in pink and purple - quick glance at the kids coat stand - bright red raincoat - check, brown cord casual jacket - check, navy mackintosh type thing - check, green wellies - check, blue and white spotty scarf - check. Oh - I see some pink knickers on the clothes airer - are we doomed ?

blogpage · 23/03/2010 22:21

YABU. I'm sure all feminists celebrate their femininity. It's just that some of them choose a different definition of femininity to the stereotype.

dittany · 23/03/2010 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MillyR · 23/03/2010 22:24

I used to write for a feminist magazine. It was called Shocking Pink.

Sassybeast · 23/03/2010 22:34

Dittany - was on the facebook page IIRC - before Christmas they definately said they'd have to regroup and come back with a clearer plan, which they now believe that they have done. It's a shame the facebook page in particular seems to be full of people asking where they can buy non pink shoes

EmilyStrange · 23/03/2010 22:34

FFS its a colour. You like it, you don't like it. Don't let social norms dictate how you feel about colour. I abhor that all so called girl toys are pink and I understand the pink stinks campaign but that is a different issue around the gender stereotyping of children. The colour itself is not the issue, it is the commercialisation of it. We have to remember it is just a colour that should be free to be liked or hated by whoever. Besides apparently it is only in recent times that it has become associated with girls. It was quite a favourite among the gents of yesteryears. My ds loves it but it is sad to think in a couple of years he will become subjected to peer pressure and decide he hates it.

So YANBU, of course you can be a feminist and like pink. Feminism is after all about choice and freedom to be who you want to be.

piprabbit · 23/03/2010 22:50

It makes me sad to see that all the science toys are in non-pink packaging, so my bright, inquisitive 6yo DD takes one look and says 'I'm not allowed that it's not for girls'.

I'm happy to buy her any toy in the shop - but she is already aware that she is being channelled towards the dolls, fashion and glittery stuff, while the boys get everything else to explore and enjoy.

Now I know that I can argue with her and buy her the science toys I think she will enjoy, and she will enjoy them. But I wish she didn't have to feel like she was doing something wrong.

piprabbit · 23/03/2010 22:52

Sorry if my last post wasn't very clear. What I'm trying to say is that at 6yo my DD thinks that she is only allowed pink stuff - and that's not coming from me but from external influences.

Sassybeast · 23/03/2010 23:01

Which external influences can have such a powerful effect on a child ? I think at 6 years old, it's really up to you as a parent to limit those influences if you feel that they are having such a negative impact . I think it's too easy to blame TV/magazines/marketing etc when you can control how much access they have to those sources?

blogpage · 23/03/2010 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

piprabbit · 23/03/2010 23:12

sassy, I think it started to go wrong when she started school, having play-dates etc. All my lovingly sourced, non-pink clothes have been shoved to the back of the wardrobe. And the Barbie style dolls were introduced as gifts from school friends. The problem is that she is bright and very aware of the world around her and what she needs to do to fit in. If I were to forcibly exclude her from the culture of her friends it would make her unhappy, all I can do is to keep chipping away with alternative choices and images.

blogpage - I like the pink ribbon idea, will have to keep one hidden about my person on future shopping trips.

EmilyStrange · 23/03/2010 23:19

piprabbit I understand what you are saying. I constantly go on about the nonsense surrounding pink and blue, so called girls and boys toys etc. My dd gets it but she is older. My ds who is five, however, is far more influenced by his peers and he will argue till he is blue (not pink of course) in the face that he can not have anything pink and can only have so called boys stuff. It drives me potty but I keep chipping away and hope it will all sink in at some point. But like you say I am not going to alienate him from his peers and to some extent I go along with the flow.

The sources that sassy talks about in her post are everywhere, it is impossible to shield the kids. This type of thinking is endemic in every part of our culture. Hence the need for PinkStinks, the boys need that campaign too. After the age of one all you can buy for boys' clothes are the sludge colours (khaki, navy, grey etc). I am as sick of that as I am of pink. Although my dd seems to be entering the goth stage so I will soon hate black!!