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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you have children you should have life insurance?

148 replies

JustAnotherManicMummy · 14/12/2009 13:14

Just to be clear I am talking about people who can get cover and who have an income/lifestyle to potect but who choose not to spend a few quid per month protecting their family should they die (ie not people with conditions that mean they can't get cover/those without a spare penny and who really do live on the breadline etc)

I am confused as to why someone would insure their car/possessions but not their family's livelyhood?

I work in finance so I find it easy to speak plainly about this - but also because I have seen the consequences of people not taking out cover and something terrible happening. It is heartbreaking.

I can give you an example of what I'm talking about: BIL's wife is from overseas. She is not entitled to claim any benefits and does not work (can't get a job where she lives and needs to look after their pre-school DD). He owns a property which is mortgaged. He will not take out life insurance, despite the fact he is the sole provider for that family and if he died there would be less than £10,000 for his wife and child to live off after his debt has been repaid. I think he is irresponsible.

So, AIBU?

OP posts:
displayuntiltwelfthnight · 14/12/2009 15:16

why are people getting arsey with the op when they say they cannot afford life insurance and the op clearly stated that she wasn't including those who simply cannot afford it, she was clearly referring to those people who CAN afford it but who choose to spend their money on other things rather than life assurance?

expatinscotland · 14/12/2009 15:20

'why are people getting arsey with the op when they say they cannot afford life insurance and the op clearly stated that she wasn't including those who simply cannot afford it, she was clearly referring to those people who CAN afford it but who choose to spend their money on other things rather than life assurance?'

the thread now also includes many who equate not having it, no matter what your means, equals a selfish person whose children are going to become scroungers if they die and that everyone really can afford it.

emsyj · 14/12/2009 15:21

I thought if you killed yourself most life policies wouldn't pay out, but I don't know how true that is...

I would also think that smoking is much more expensive than life insurance, but have to admit that I have no idea what the premiums would be if you are in poor health.

displayuntiltwelfthnight · 14/12/2009 15:22

is that really the theme of the thread now?
It is true that there are possibly some people who say they can't afford it who actually have mobile phone contracts and sky tv!

Does that also mean it's fine to be as rude as you like too?

expatinscotland · 14/12/2009 15:23

'It is true that there are possibly some people who say they can't afford it who actually have mobile phone contracts and sky tv!

Does that also mean it's fine to be as rude as you like too?'

And they're probably on benefits, too!

Welcome to AIBU.

Original poster
JustAnotherManicMummy · 14/12/2009 15:24

I'm off out but just checked in and displayuntil... has posted what I was going to say.

expat you posted something specifically for me. I assumed you, like a few other people, hadn't read the OP. I haven't stated any of the examples you gave of where the discussion may have got to so not getting your point. As I said, displayuntil has basically posted what I would have.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/12/2009 15:25

'I would also think that smoking is much more expensive than life insurance, but have to admit that I have no idea what the premiums would be if you are in poor health.'

Believe me, I'd love for him to quit.

He keeps costs lower by smoking roll ups and buying the baccy from an Eastern European colleague for a fiver a 50g back.

But really, the argument, 'Well, if you don't smoke you could afford life insurance' really isn't going to make someone who doesn't want to quit and is highly addicted, say, 'You know, you're SO write! Let me stop right now!'

MillyR · 14/12/2009 15:26

I find this thread quite depressing because it makes me realise that there are lots of people out there with no health or other problems who are quite confident they will have well paid jobs for life and can take on financial responsibilities like life insurance and big mortgages.

I feel stressed out enough wondering how both me and DH will hold it together and avoid getting sacked/becoming ill/becoming stressed/becoming a carer for another relative so that we can both keep working until we reach our early forties and the kids leave home.

We are not on a low income, but neither are we attempting to amass any kind of assets for our kids. We're just holding it together long enough to get our kids through school.

There are so many things that could go wrong that I see paying life insurance for a few years, knowing that I probably can't afford to pay it long term as being a waste of money.

lovechoc · 14/12/2009 15:27

YABU. In my own particular case, we own our home outright and DH has a good pension. There's no need for life insurance. If I was struggling I'd go out and get a job and vice versa if he was to kick the bucket first.

I had this stupid conversation with a financial adviser who kept going on and on about it, and I said I'm not interested.

Original poster
JustAnotherManicMummy · 14/12/2009 15:27

To be specific it was the high horse bit. I don't think I am sitting judgement of those that can't get cover. Obviously the definition of can't is subjective, but I think I've qualified my position.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/12/2009 15:27

What did you expect, Justanother? When you posted a thread like this is AIBU? Because you put 'conditions' on the OP, that everyone would follow along and warmly and fuzzily agree?

You wrote about people not choosing to spend 'a few quid per month'.

You have no idea how much it would cost to ensure each individuals life.

displayuntiltwelfthnight · 14/12/2009 15:27

If you can afford to have a mobile phone contract, sky tv or a monthly trip to the pub, you can afford to have life cover.

MillyR - where have you heard that it's a big financial repsonsiblity to take out life assurance?

emsyj · 14/12/2009 15:29

'the thread now also includes many who equate not having it, no matter what your means, equals a selfish person whose children are going to become scroungers if they die and that everyone really can afford it.'

I would like to say that this is not my personal view. I rather think that life insurance is something that makes things better/easier for your family if you should die, and that's why it's important to me and to DH that we are adequately insured. I don't feel concerned about them needing to bleed the welfare system dry after my death, I just would rather that, if something happened to me, my DH could work part time (or possibly not at all, for a while at least) and worry about something other than money.
Re: 'everyone really can afford it', I think quite a lot of people confuse affordability with priority: if you spend your money on fags and that's what you choose, then fine, equally if you want a mobile phone or sky tv or whatever, that's your choice but you should recognise that it IS a choice and that one of the alternative things that you could choose to spend that money on is life insurance. If you're not bothered and you don't want it, then fine with me! I couldn't care less. I only care about my own family, I don't know yours and if they were left to get by on benefits because you preferred to buy fags/phone/sky channels well, no skin off my nose.

MillyR · 14/12/2009 15:29

it is a big cost if you have health problems, which both me and DH do. Lots of people have health problems.

expatinscotland · 14/12/2009 15:30

'If you can afford to have a mobile phone contract, sky tv or a monthly trip to the pub, you can afford to have life cover.'

How do you know everyone who has all this doesn't have life cover?

lovechoc · 14/12/2009 15:30

there's a clear difference though, there's those that don't need life insurance cover and there's those that can't afford it.

MillyR · 14/12/2009 15:34

I should clarify that DH has life cover through work.

But that is part of the massive insensitivity of this thread, isn't it? Like many people at the moment, DH is under threat of redundancy (and thus loss of cover), because we are in a recession.

So going on about the selfishness of people who make their children have a big change in lifestyle and income is a really unfortunate choice of topic to be choosing right now, when people are losing jobs and homes.

Awassailinglookingforanswers · 14/12/2009 15:35

"If you can afford to have a mobile phone contract, sky tv or a monthly trip to the pub, you can afford to have life cover."

my mobile phone contract and phone/internet/tv package together come to less than our life insurance - which as I said earlier ONLY covers the mortgage - no lump sums, monthly payments etc.

If one of us were to die then the other would have to work..Which at the moment would be interesting with DH on ESA and me having only worked for 1 1/2yrs out of the last 10......

pooexplosionsonthedustyroad · 14/12/2009 15:40

Maybe we'd rather have sky tv than obsess over our own mortality and pay for life insurance?

expatinscotland · 14/12/2009 15:42

i had an estimate to get Sky here (weirdly located flat with back to a hill) and they wanted £176 to put in a dish!

guess we're not getting Sky.

displayuntiltwelfthnight · 14/12/2009 15:42

Life assurance needn't be expensive, that was all I was saying.
It doesn't matter one iota to me if you have it or you don't, but there's no denying that leaving your children with a degree of financial stability should you suddenly die is something a lot of people would consider important.

pooexplosionsonthedustyroad · 14/12/2009 15:43

thats a lot? How about cable? Often easier when a dish is difficult.....

expatinscotland · 14/12/2009 15:44

we can't get cable out here. we're sort of in the sticks.

we have Freeview, though!

PrincessToadstool · 14/12/2009 15:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slushy06 · 14/12/2009 15:45

I don't have life insurance me and dp had to scrape every penny together to get our mortgage as we are not well of everything is cut back to it's lowest and I spend most days going through reduced food racks in order to make a cheap meal.

I am 21 and at the moment keeping the house is more important than what would happen after we die. We got the house during the recession when property was at it's lowest. Part of my dp contract was that as he does have a very good post grad job he was to get 3000 pound pay rises every 6months. However due to the recession they have had to freeze all pay rises and even made redundancy's My partner has actually been promoted to manager in all but pay and tittle meaning when the previous manager retired my dp took over his job role on the condition that once the company was doing well he would be given the full benefits of his new role.

When we bought the house we thought dp would get a pay rise in 6 months which is when we would take out life cover, however it has been about 13 months and company are fobbing still doing a bit bad but have promised a rise in march.

Would you prefer I had not got the house or lose it or did I do the right thing in getting the house with the plan of getting life insurance at the next pay rise if it ever comes if not dp now has manager experience and can get a manager job elsewhere easily which we will be doing if rise is not given in march.

I agree with you to a certain extent if you can afford it it should be pretty high on priority list but you don't know everyone's circumstances and therefore sweeping generalizations don't help any one.

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