taking a 2-week old baby to the ballet?

[AKMD]

Before you scream "YES, YAB SO U!"...

The PILs booked tickets for them, DH and me to go to the ballet two weeks after I'm due to give birth. This was done before I got pregnant and is a very big deal to them as the tickets are expensive and it's for my MIL's birthday, so I'm willing to tough out the tiredness bit of it. I am a first-time mum (i.e. clueless) and my plan is to take the baby in a sling and hope that she sleeps through it all. If she wakes up and starts to make a noise, I will take her out and stay out for as long as needed. The seats we have are in a row on their own with only 2 rows behind and right next to the exit, so exiting will cause minimal disturbance.

Am I being completely unrealistic in my expectations of a very small baby and being selfish etc. by wanting to take her at all and risking disturbing other people even a tiny bit, or does this sound ok?

The other option is for me to stay at home as I'm not comfortable with leaving such a small baby with anyone I know.

[Bicnod]

LOL OrangeFish - yeah, maybe I shared a little too much there...

...sorry AKMD... the other thing to say is that being a mummy is FANTASTIC and the BEST THING IN THE WORLD EVER X10

you won't want to go the ballet anyway when your babe is 2 weeks old, you'll just want to sit staring at her all day long

[MonstrousMerryHenry]

We took DS to cinema aged 2 weeks. Well, he was begging us to see Happy Feet, and we just couldn't say no .

I spent the entire time with his right ear pressed to my chest and my hand clamped over his other ear - the volume at cinemas is absurd! I'm sure the ballet will be far more civilised in terms of volume, but do bear in mind that your DC's ears are very vulnerable.

My DS wasn't much of a crier, and he slept the whole way through. If he'd woken I'd have bf'd him back to sleep. Babies sleep so much at that age.

I understand what you mean about leaving such a young baby with someone else - I couldn't have done that, either.

If I were you I'd plan to go but invite a friend as a back-up option just in case. If your baby spends most of his/her time asleep and doesn't cry often I'm sure you'll be fine.

Plan your strategy in advance - change nappy just before you go in, then again during the interval (make sure you know where the loos are before you go into the auditorium). If you're bfing and your DC wakes up, just give them some mama milk - nobody will see your breasts in the dark! Then your DC will most likely fall straight back asleep again.

I do hope you get the chance to go, it will be wonderful - I love the ballet too! All the very best for your birth and the rest of your pregnancy. Am very excited for you.

[Romanarama]

If you really want to go, then go ahead, and sit at the end of the row so no one tuts. We went for a weekend away to a lovely hotel just for fun when ds2 was 13 days, and had a lovely time - I was fine. You may be so tired you can't sit through it though.

I wouldn't actually do it as I wouldn't take my newbie to sit somewhere so germy for so long, but then all mine have been sick and hospitalised with viruses when little so I'm paranoid.

[risingstar]

i think that you are being unreasonable and selfish- sorry!

these tickets are very expensive. if i had forked out a fortune for a special treat, i would be mightily unimpressed if some one disturbed it with a babe in arms. TBH I feel like this if i have spent a fiver on a cinema ticket for anything above a PG.

Anyway- i really don't believe that the venue will allow you to take a baby in anyway. check and make sure that the tickets go to someone else, or you secure a baby sitter in advance

as for the rest of it, eg baby might be late or whatever, I guess you can work all that!

[AKMD]

Wow, that was first post for me - I had no idea people responded so quickly!

Thanks for all the input. I'm trying not to think too hard about stitches... I will have a chat with my PILs about the way forward, with the outcome that neither I nor the baby will be there, but as a peace offering I will let the DH out

[MonstrousMerryHenry]

risingstar: "i would be mightily unimpressed if some one disturbed it with a babe in arms" - how do you know that the OP's DD would disturb your viewing? Not all babies cry incessantly.

[nicefleece]

phew. and we thought you'd gone into labour.

Get those custard creams in now for a snuggly evening on the sofa....

[Blackduck]

Sorry I agree with all YABU....a ballet is no place for a baby. Other people have spent money on this and don't want their evening disrupted by a crying child. I think you are mad to even think about going (even if, as others have pointed out, you are allowed in) A cinema is one thing, a theatre is something else....

[pagwatch]

I would take a newborn to the cinema without really thinking about it.No problem.

I would NEVER take a newborn to the ballet. Totally different atmosphere.Totally different enviroment.
That is not a comparison at all

[diddl]

Although I put that I personally could easily have gone out with baby at 2wks, thinking on,ballet is a bit formal.

And the getting out of the seat & "creeping" out not so easy.

So I think, best not to try, tbh.

[MonstrousMerryHenry]

Yes, cinema and ballet are different, and it's possible the venue would say no - however if the venue's okay with it, her baby's not 'a crier' and she sits on the end of a row, I wouldn't have a problem with it. I'd think it unorthodox at the ballet, but that's not a reason not to do it.

[Goodadvice1980]

I think it's more a case of not being practical rather than unreasonable.

Also, I think there could be an issue with the level of noise from the performance. Not exactly ideal for a newborn baby!

You don't know how you are going to feel after the birth either.

Your MIL should understand if you decline the tickets!

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

Not sure you will be let in with a baby - certainly some productions have age limits. You will not be able to relax and enjoy it as you will be anxious, even happy baby noises, feeding noises etc will seem VERY VERY loud in a ballet!!

[pooexplosions]

I wouldn't. And I say that with a 2 week old, placid, sleepy, baby who would probably go unnoticed. I brought him to a tutorial on saturday and most of the class didn't know he was there for the 3.5 hours!

Lot of negativity here though, I know you might be in bits with exhaustion and stitches etc, but you might equally feel as fine as I do right now, with no soreness whatsoever, and some tiredness but not exhaustion (yet ).

I still wouldn't go though, small seats, loud noises, people muttering if the baby makes the slightest noise, trying to feed in the dark in a cramped seat....

Oh and do you know how loudly a 2 week old can poo? not to mention the unbearable smell that can eminate from something so small fed only on breastmilk..

I say not BU, but impractical, and way too much arse, tbh.

[wonderingwondering]

I'd be a bit wary of promising your DH's attedance as some kind of consolation prize. With a 2 week, or few day old baby, his priority should be you. If you are having a bad day or feel tired and he's swanning off the the ballet to pacify his mother, you may feel a teeny bit resentful!

It's not like it's a close relative's wedding or other unmissable event, it's a trip to the ballet, and your mother-in-law is an adult and should understand. If you feel OK on the day, what can't he just pop in to meet them for pre-ballet drinks/dinner?

[Winibaghoul]

I think this could be a bit difficult. As others have said, you could be in labour/in hospital/knackered/not feeling up to it/too painful to go out etc. Also i've only been to the ballet once, but the music does get quite loud, so you might find that it diturbs the baby. Try and prepare your MIL for the idea that you might not be able to go.
FWIW, I had a similar problem last year. MIL had given us tickets to see Lee Evans. Of course a couple of months later I found out I was pg and due 6 weeks before the gig. DS was three weeks late, and then we all got colds. I'm still gutted at missing Lee Evans though

[Poohbearsmom]

''how do u Make God laugh... Tell him ur plans...'' ;-) (i read this n a marian keyes book) Noone can possibly know what will happen, early/ontime/ late... ideal birth/any no. of complications... feelin great/ feelin sore&low... Healthy happy sleepin&eatin well bouncing baby/ non-sleepin, non-eatin or eatin ALL the time, or sickly baby... When my 1st was exactly 2wks old i spent the night on a trolley n hospital cause id had an emergency c-section & my wound had started to open on one side (not pleasant!!) Also bf was v.hard for the 1st few wks... My 2nd baby spent his 1st wk in the N.I.C.U & had his blood taken every single 6hrs & was sore & weak & needed alot of tlc. I had never imagined this could happen to me/my baby... We never know & it can happen to anyone... Dont feel pressured into doing something jus not to upset ppl, & u never know they may all b thinkin u wont or shouldnt b going out wit a tiny baby & being exhausted etc but may b afraid to upset U by saying so...?

[Blu]

Another 'no' - from a theatre professional, and also a mother who took DS almost everywhere as a baby, and bf through AGMs promenade thetare performances etc.

Some babies are very snuffly when sleeping, and make a big racket when feeding - all very distracting in a quiet auditorium.

If your baby cries, it would take at least 15 secs to get from seat to outside door, and that would be a huge long time for the rest of the audience - count it out and imagine a baby sqawking thorughout as you try and scramble out.

Some babies 'talk' - even at 2 weeks - they go 'aaah eeeeh ah air..'very cute, but very distracting for an audience.

With an older, settled baby it might be OK to have a friend outside in the foyer if you knew what time s/he was likely to need a feed, but with a newborn you won't have a clue. And a friend slipping in to tell you the baby is screaming will be no less disruptive.

[FimbleHobbs]

I was going to say YANBU its entirely possible you could do this - when mine were 2 weeks or less they hadn't really woken up and were happy to feed/sleep quietly so long as they were snuggled up to me. So I don't think you're being unrealistic about going out for a couple of hours to a sit down event.

However Y-May-BU in that its the ballet. I had no idea ballet productions/audiences were so precious until I read the thread. I mean I know you have to be quiet at the theatre/ballet but I didn't think people were so easily upset by a 'little' noise. Surely people must cough now and then.

NB I don't mean anyone on here has been precious, I mean they've given the impression that ballet-goers can be precious.

[Sidge]

YANBU for feeling like you ought to go but realistically I don't think you should.

Not just because of the logistics of taking a tiny baby to the ballet (who many actually only be a few days old!) but the sheer fact that you will:

• probably have huge, tender, leaky boobs
  
• probably have a huge, tender, leaky fanjo (sorry)
  
• most likely still be bleeding
  
• feel like you've been hit by a truck and much rather be at home lying on the sofa watching crap TV with a giant bar of Galaxy healthy nutritious snack and listen to your teeny tiny baby snuffle in his/her basket.

[iwantitnow]

Given the C-section rates are so high, and I have had two the first an emergency it may not be stiches that will be stopping you. Your DH can go for a good sleep in the dark of the ballet though.

[MyNameIsInigoMontoya]

Well it's not just the audiences who might mind, but a ballet is v. different from cinema in that there are live performers - dancers and musicians who would probably find it quite off-putting and also rude if they are suddenly interrupted by a crying baby (just like they do with mobile phones etc, but a hungry newborn can be much louder!).

Although it might be possible to keep a baby quiet for that long (if you were lucky), it would be impossible to guarantee that you can avoid disturbance, either with crying or if you have to go in and out. So for that reason as well as the others already given I think you have made the right decision OP!