taking a 2-week old baby to the ballet?

[AKMD]

Before you scream "YES, YAB SO U!"...

The PILs booked tickets for them, DH and me to go to the ballet two weeks after I'm due to give birth. This was done before I got pregnant and is a very big deal to them as the tickets are expensive and it's for my MIL's birthday, so I'm willing to tough out the tiredness bit of it. I am a first-time mum (i.e. clueless) and my plan is to take the baby in a sling and hope that she sleeps through it all. If she wakes up and starts to make a noise, I will take her out and stay out for as long as needed. The seats we have are in a row on their own with only 2 rows behind and right next to the exit, so exiting will cause minimal disturbance.

Am I being completely unrealistic in my expectations of a very small baby and being selfish etc. by wanting to take her at all and risking disturbing other people even a tiny bit, or does this sound ok?

The other option is for me to stay at home as I'm not comfortable with leaving such a small baby with anyone I know.

[thereistheball]

OP, I think you said you were going to try to talk to MIL "with a view to not going". I have to agree with other ballet-goers here that it is completely unreasonable to take a newborn baby into a ballet performance, whether or not you are up to it after the birth and even if your baby is a relatively quiet one. Think of the evening in terms of the total amount of money it costs to put on: hundreds of thousands of pounds will have been spent on renting the theatre, hiring the performers, and putting on the catering, and more will have been paid by the audience for the tickets. Given that I'd be astonished if the venue let you in, as the performance could easily be ruined by a baby crying at the wrong moment. And consider how you would feel if, shaky from the hormones and physical exhaustion you are likely to feel post-birth, you became the focus of disapproval of an entire theatre full of people. You would do everyone a favour, most of all yourself, by staying at home with your baby and something delicious to eat.

[clarea1]

I think as much as u want to help make MIL's birthday a special occasion, it's\not very fair on the other people who have paid and made arrangments. i also think you will much prefer to leg out at home, my ds is 8 months and i still feel people tut if we go out with him late! i.e wedding do where he is bathed and in pj's ready to sleep in pram!

I think u feel too tired to appreciate it and other people won't thank u if baby cries.

[mumof2222222222222222boys]

I went to the ballet at the Royal Opera House last year. It was wonderful apart from the fact I had a cough. I bought loads of sweets from Boots and some cough mixture.

it was so stressful - any idea how much noise those sweets make when you get them out of the foil packet??? I felt terrible. Not ill - just guilty about the noise!! suspect my neighbours were a bit bemused by me swigging cough mixture out of the bottle too...

i see you've decided not to go - good decision OP!

[overthemill]

i wouldnt take a 2 week old anywhere like that - too noisy for them and they may be too noisy for other people. just seems obvious! tho i applaud the mother and baby cinema screenings during the daytime so you can still see the film eg odeon 'newbies'

[flowerybeanbag]

I can't imagine for one minute MIL expects you to go, having given birth herself. I would think she'll be astonished at you being apologetic or anything.

[ParisFrog]

"However Y-May-BU in that its the ballet. I had no idea ballet productions/audiences were so precious until I read the thread. I mean I know you have to be quiet at the theatre/ballet but I didn't think people were so easily upset by a 'little' noise. Surely people must cough now and then."

At ballets, like at classical concerts, people cough in between the movements. You do not cough during the music. It's plain rude.

And as others have said, a newborn cry is not a 'little' noise.

[ManicMother7777]

YABVU. PLEASE - don't do it. I go to the ballet often and I would be completely horrified to find myself near a baby and also livid with the venue for allowing it. You say you would leave if s/he starts crying but by then the damage is done and you would have annoyed a great many people who have paid a lot of money. Sorry.

[janeite]

I don't think they'd let you take a newborn into the ballet tbh. I also think it would be a very bad idea for all concenred - yourself, the baby and the rest of the audience.

Quite honestly, I do think you're being unrealistic and doubt you'd want to sit still that long in a theatre seat, with or without a new baby. I think you should be prepared to stay at home and make sure that pil and dh have a friend or a relative or someone on standby to take your place.

[abra1d]

Oh I wouldn't do this. It's getting into a time of year where there are so many bugs around. A crowded, stuffy theatre is a real hotbed for viruses. I'm never sure just what newborns can or can't catch but one of mine had a cold at a very young age and it was horrid for them.

[mellifluouscauliflower]

Just let your husband go. I am sure your PiL love you to bits but it's really your husband's presence that matters. They might even like the novelty of having him to themselves for a change. The venue can probably sell the extra ticket quite easily.

My team won the league a couple of weeks after my son was born. You'd have thought I would have minded missing the match as I'd been going all season. But actually I didn't even care. I was too in love with my baby. And you will be too.

[yummyyummyyummy]

The venue that is.

[yummyyummyyummy]

I think its very , very unlikely that they would let you take a baby to the ballet.

[MyNameIsInigoMontoya]

Well it's not just the audiences who might mind, but a ballet is v. different from cinema in that there are live performers - dancers and musicians who would probably find it quite off-putting and also rude if they are suddenly interrupted by a crying baby (just like they do with mobile phones etc, but a hungry newborn can be much louder!).

Although it might be possible to keep a baby quiet for that long (if you were lucky), it would be impossible to guarantee that you can avoid disturbance, either with crying or if you have to go in and out. So for that reason as well as the others already given I think you have made the right decision OP!

[iwantitnow]

Given the C-section rates are so high, and I have had two the first an emergency it may not be stiches that will be stopping you. Your DH can go for a good sleep in the dark of the ballet though.

[Sidge]

YANBU for feeling like you ought to go but realistically I don't think you should.

Not just because of the logistics of taking a tiny baby to the ballet (who many actually only be a few days old!) but the sheer fact that you will:

• probably have huge, tender, leaky boobs
  
• probably have a huge, tender, leaky fanjo (sorry)
  
• most likely still be bleeding
  
• feel like you've been hit by a truck and much rather be at home lying on the sofa watching crap TV with a giant bar of Galaxy healthy nutritious snack and listen to your teeny tiny baby snuffle in his/her basket.

[FimbleHobbs]

I was going to say YANBU its entirely possible you could do this - when mine were 2 weeks or less they hadn't really woken up and were happy to feed/sleep quietly so long as they were snuggled up to me. So I don't think you're being unrealistic about going out for a couple of hours to a sit down event.

However Y-May-BU in that its the ballet. I had no idea ballet productions/audiences were so precious until I read the thread. I mean I know you have to be quiet at the theatre/ballet but I didn't think people were so easily upset by a 'little' noise. Surely people must cough now and then.

NB I don't mean anyone on here has been precious, I mean they've given the impression that ballet-goers can be precious.

[Blu]

Another 'no' - from a theatre professional, and also a mother who took DS almost everywhere as a baby, and bf through AGMs promenade thetare performances etc.

Some babies are very snuffly when sleeping, and make a big racket when feeding - all very distracting in a quiet auditorium.

If your baby cries, it would take at least 15 secs to get from seat to outside door, and that would be a huge long time for the rest of the audience - count it out and imagine a baby sqawking thorughout as you try and scramble out.

Some babies 'talk' - even at 2 weeks - they go 'aaah eeeeh ah air..'very cute, but very distracting for an audience.

With an older, settled baby it might be OK to have a friend outside in the foyer if you knew what time s/he was likely to need a feed, but with a newborn you won't have a clue. And a friend slipping in to tell you the baby is screaming will be no less disruptive.

[Poohbearsmom]

''how do u Make God laugh... Tell him ur plans...'' ;-) (i read this n a marian keyes book) Noone can possibly know what will happen, early/ontime/ late... ideal birth/any no. of complications... feelin great/ feelin sore&low... Healthy happy sleepin&eatin well bouncing baby/ non-sleepin, non-eatin or eatin ALL the time, or sickly baby... When my 1st was exactly 2wks old i spent the night on a trolley n hospital cause id had an emergency c-section & my wound had started to open on one side (not pleasant!!) Also bf was v.hard for the 1st few wks... My 2nd baby spent his 1st wk in the N.I.C.U & had his blood taken every single 6hrs & was sore & weak & needed alot of tlc. I had never imagined this could happen to me/my baby... We never know & it can happen to anyone... Dont feel pressured into doing something jus not to upset ppl, & u never know they may all b thinkin u wont or shouldnt b going out wit a tiny baby & being exhausted etc but may b afraid to upset U by saying so...?

[Winibaghoul]

I think this could be a bit difficult. As others have said, you could be in labour/in hospital/knackered/not feeling up to it/too painful to go out etc. Also i've only been to the ballet once, but the music does get quite loud, so you might find that it diturbs the baby. Try and prepare your MIL for the idea that you might not be able to go.
FWIW, I had a similar problem last year. MIL had given us tickets to see Lee Evans. Of course a couple of months later I found out I was pg and due 6 weeks before the gig. DS was three weeks late, and then we all got colds. I'm still gutted at missing Lee Evans though

[wonderingwondering]

I'd be a bit wary of promising your DH's attedance as some kind of consolation prize. With a 2 week, or few day old baby, his priority should be you. If you are having a bad day or feel tired and he's swanning off the the ballet to pacify his mother, you may feel a teeny bit resentful!

It's not like it's a close relative's wedding or other unmissable event, it's a trip to the ballet, and your mother-in-law is an adult and should understand. If you feel OK on the day, what can't he just pop in to meet them for pre-ballet drinks/dinner?

[pooexplosions]

I wouldn't. And I say that with a 2 week old, placid, sleepy, baby who would probably go unnoticed. I brought him to a tutorial on saturday and most of the class didn't know he was there for the 3.5 hours!

Lot of negativity here though, I know you might be in bits with exhaustion and stitches etc, but you might equally feel as fine as I do right now, with no soreness whatsoever, and some tiredness but not exhaustion (yet ).

I still wouldn't go though, small seats, loud noises, people muttering if the baby makes the slightest noise, trying to feed in the dark in a cramped seat....

Oh and do you know how loudly a 2 week old can poo? not to mention the unbearable smell that can eminate from something so small fed only on breastmilk..

I say not BU, but impractical, and way too much arse, tbh.