To think that 7 is too young to go to a friends sleepover?

[andirobobo]

Wel DH thinks I am because he thinks I dont like the girl!

I have no problem with the girl or her family either - she is a bit loud and bossy but she is 7 FGS!

DD has been invited with a few others to a sleep over at a school friends house. I think she is a bit too young for all that sort of stuff! Too much Hannah Montana watching etc! Her best friend is not going and she is vague about who else is going.

In theory it would be ok, but it is the end of half term - a saturday night, but we are having a family party (in the day) either the sat or sun for my Dad - at his house and my brother and family are coming. So all I can see is a tired girl going to a family party and being a PITA as she generally is if she hasnt slept well. She also has a swimming lesson in the morning which perhaps she could miss, but I try to instill that you have to go to activities whether you like it nor not as they are paid for - I suppose she could miss it once, bu has already missed 1 of this 10 week session so far.

I know she will proabably end up going so I can just keep the peace in the house, but what would you do / have done? If she doesnt go, what is a reasonable excuse?!!

[piscesmoon]

I think it is a parent's job to gradually let go and I think that the most important word is gradually.
I am amazed at the number of parents who have total control, don't let DCs get changed by themselves for swimming, drive them everywhere, think thay can't post a letter or boil a kettle etc and then suddenly let go around 14yrs-IMO that is too much, too late.
I agree fully, juuule, that it depends on your family and your DC but I think that in some cases it is simply the parent not wanting to let go.

[BrigitBigKnickers]

Sleepovers at 7 are ok but only if the parents of the host are strict about bed times- ok so maybe not 8 o'clock bed times but certainly no later than 10pm.

My DD went to her first sleepover when she was almost 8 (so technically 7) and the mum let them stay up till 4 in the morning!

It took her a week to get over it.

But seriously, if you have a family thing the same day just say you're busy.

[juuule]

You can gradually let go with lots of things. It's just the sleeping out that's one of the last on my list of letting go, I suppose. And maybe it is the parent not wanting to let go in some cases but as I said I'm not sure that's a bad thing at primary school age. Possibly dangerous ground past that age, anyway, as the child might completely rebel.

[piscesmoon]

I am not so keen on the sleepover, I would like to really know the family, if they are young-but I think that organised things like cub camp are excellent-and to be encouraged. Staying with grandparents or other relatives, where you know they will get a proper bedtime, is also to be encouraged. I have never pushed sleepovers-mainly because they don't sleep! It depends on the DC, and especially on the family of DC's friend-there is no reason to feel pressurised into accepting something you don't want to accept.However I do think that it is good to have a range of experiences that come their way, like babysitters. Never letting anyone else have responsibility for your DC is a bit suffocating, for the DC if not for you.

[freakname]

I confess to not liking children sleeping over at ours either . I am really happy to do tea but then I do want them to go home at some point!

[hanaboo]

i know i'm probably on my own here, but my dd will not be going to friends sleepovers.. EVER.
i don't know what goes on in other ppls houses and her bed is at home.
thats jus mho and i am lucky in the fact that i have a humungous family so she gets to do sleepovers with her cousins nearly every week anyway, op if u are not comfortable with the date then just say no thanks but maybe next time

[NyeEve]

ever
Lol
you wait

[piscesmoon]

I think that she might have other ideas when she gets to her teens hanboo!

[NyeEve]

[pagwatch]

my dd has had lots of sleepovers already and shen is only just 7. as long as i am comfortable with the people she is going to I am happy for her to go. she is confident and loves them.
But if i did not want her to go I would just say no. I naver ever make parenting decisions based on keeping the peace - a recipe for disater.

[piscesmoon]

I don't think it is a thing that you can make hard and fast rules about-it depends on the DC and circumstances. Even the OP 'is 7 too young' can't be answered-it is too young for some 7 yr olds, but not for others.

[megapixels]

You are not being unrealistic hanaboo. I come from a big family too and had loads of cousins to have sleepovers with. I never even THOUGHT of going over to sleep at a friends.

[hanaboo]

maybe when she gets to her teens she will have her own ideas its true, but i can't see her ever winning an arguement with her dad (my big scary backup lol)
things may obviously change as she gets older but thats just how we feel about it right now, i would have to know the parents extremely well in any case, when i was about ten i went to a sleepover where the mother went out and left us four ten yr olds alone practically all night! (my mums supposed 'good friend')
i'm just saying that u never know do u?

[hanaboo]

x posted megapixels, thanx, i thought not.
my dd (only just 4) has already been asked to sleepover at friends and has always said 'no, i only sleep at my house or my nanny's, and anyway, i haven't got a bed at your house!' lol (without me saying anything) at least with the big fam shes not deprived of fun

[NyeEve]

no oyu are right you dont.
and it is easy to trust on the basis of " they look nice"
such a scientific method

[piscesmoon]

I don't think it matters-if you have plenty of cousins I would make the most of it! The important thing is to get them used to not always being with the mother. A break does everyone good.

[KnickersandVests]

IMO, YABU to say 7 is too young. My DD is 7 and has been to a few sleepovers, however, I know exactly what you mean about not getting enough sleep and being a PITA the next day which is why I limit them to school holidays and never allow them on the weekends, the recovery time isn't long enough.

Your DD will have to miss out this time because you have other things to do the next day but she's not too young to go next time.

[hanaboo]

so true nyeeve, anyone can 'look nice'
and i am very lucky with all the cousins
we share so we all get our breaks, if anything i wish my dd was more of a mummys girl, shes so independent and confident i feel like she only needs me to cook food for her lol (i know its much more, hugs, love etc)
shes starting nursery on wed and she thinks its really strange that on the first day she can only go for an hour and that i have to come with her, she asked me what i was gonna do while she was making new friends! i expect i'l be sat in a corner on my own lol

[3LegsandNoTail]

7 isn't too young, so long as you're confident your child won't miss you too much and demand to come home in the middle of the night. Ds (5) went camping with his best friend (and parents) in the summer for 2 nights, I couldn't persuade him to come home after the first! But he's used to staying over at various relatives houses, he's been doing it since he was about a year old.

[peanutbutterkid]

I don't understand the MN version of a sleepover at all. Sounds more like a 'wake-over' to me.

If DC friends (maximum of 3 friends) come sleepover, I put them in bed by 9pm and lights out 1/2 hour after that and I better not hear a pip out of them, either. They don't stay up all night watching videos, playing on a PSP or generally screeching the world down.

If all-night noise, eating, games and videos is the only type of sleepover available in your neck of the woods, then yeah, 7yo is way too young. But if the other family has any sanity about them, they won't let 7yos do all that, anyway.

[piscesmoon]

I don't know how you get them to sleep -peanutbutterkid, if they are in the same room. When I had a sleepover at that age it was too exciting to sleep. We may have kept the noise down but we certainly didn't sleep!