To think that 7 is too young to go to a friends sleepover?

[andirobobo]

Wel DH thinks I am because he thinks I dont like the girl!

I have no problem with the girl or her family either - she is a bit loud and bossy but she is 7 FGS!

DD has been invited with a few others to a sleep over at a school friends house. I think she is a bit too young for all that sort of stuff! Too much Hannah Montana watching etc! Her best friend is not going and she is vague about who else is going.

In theory it would be ok, but it is the end of half term - a saturday night, but we are having a family party (in the day) either the sat or sun for my Dad - at his house and my brother and family are coming. So all I can see is a tired girl going to a family party and being a PITA as she generally is if she hasnt slept well. She also has a swimming lesson in the morning which perhaps she could miss, but I try to instill that you have to go to activities whether you like it nor not as they are paid for - I suppose she could miss it once, bu has already missed 1 of this 10 week session so far.

I know she will proabably end up going so I can just keep the peace in the house, but what would you do / have done? If she doesnt go, what is a reasonable excuse?!!

[Jamieandhismagictorch]

Does your DD know about it yet, and does she want to go ?

There seems to be a huge variation in the age people have sleepovers, and they do seem more popular with girls (luckily for me). I persoanlly don't undersatnd the rush for all this, but them I'm an old fuddy-duddy. A sleepover with a best friend is different from a party.

DS1 was desperate to go to a sleepover ....... until he went to his first one, age 8. No-one went to bed until 1 am, and they watched a film which freaked him out.

If she's not desperate to go, and you think it wouldn't suit her, or your plans, then say you've got something else on.

7 is not too young for some children, it may be for yours.

[juuule]

andirobobo - if you are uneasy about any aspect of it, then say no. If you feel she is too young then don't let her go, even if you can't quite pin down why you feel that way at the moment. Sleepovers aren't obligatory and your dd won't be missing out in the long run by not going.

If you don't want her to sleep out maybe you could suggest that she invites a friend to sleep at your house.

There will be plenty of time in the future for her to stay out and by then you might feel more comfortable and relaxed about it.

Until then she doesn't need to stay out.

[diddl]

I´m not following why she would miss swimming?

[Stigaloid]

I started having sleepovers at 4.5/5 years old. 7 not too young. But appreciate your not wanting to reasons so justs ay you have a family do the next day and don't want her too tired.

[jellybeans]

I think 9 is about the right age, 7 too young IMO. Mine slept at brownie camp at that age (7) but not friends houses other than maybe best friends where I knew the parents well. I didn't like them going to people's houses who let them out on the streets all day until they were abit older.

[cory]

It really is about your individual child. Personally I wouldn't have a problem but then I didn't have a problem taking my child for a midnight swim either, or travelling across Europe on a train with a toddler, or capmping 4 people in a 2-person tent when they were little- provided it fitted in with whatever was happening the next day. My parents took the whole family of 6 to sleep in a small open boat as an adventure. Not saying we slept much but it was an adventure we remember with great pleasure nearly 40 years later.

I think adventures- breaks from everyday routine, when you are allowed to get overexcited and overtired and do things you wouldn't normally- are great things.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

7 is not too young to go IF the child is happy to go

but if you have plans say sorry, but maybe can do one another night

[lilyjen]

I don't think it's too young I think it's more inconvienant that weekend. I prob wd wonder as well how MUCH she wanted to go if her best friend wont be there. I'm sure if you say no she'll get over it though, think on it next time..hopefully it'll fit in better and her best friend will go!

[juuule]

Cory - I wouldn't have a problem with those things either. The difference between those things and a sleepover would be that I would be with my child. Doing things together as a family is different altogether

[cory]

I was thinking more of the getting-overtired/break with routine aspect: I did not get from the OP that she worries about her dd doing things away from the family per se; more that she worried about it spoiling the week-end due to overtiredness.

Though I have to say, I have absolutely no problem with dcs doing things away from the family either. Am very happy that they have got to know such nice other families who will take them out and do things with them. And I enjoy having their friends around and knowing that they feel at home here.

For dd it was an enormous bonus that she was already used to doing things without me when her ill health meant she had to go into a rehabilitation clinic for a month just after she turned 11. Don't know how she would have coped with that if she had thought I had difficulties with her doing things on her own. As it was, she treated it like one great holiday camp

[lucykate]

dd is 7 and has had 2 sleepovers elsewhere, and 2 sleepovers at home, all 4 times have been her and her best friend. i think 7 is a great age to begin the odd sleepover. i was rubbish at them when i was younger, i always cried and had to go home, i'm so glad dd is ok about it.

yes, your dd will be tired, we've found it hits a couple of days later, and she's really grumpy, but it's worth it for the fun they have.

[Hando]

My dd is 5 and I would let her go to a sleepover in a couple of years time, but only if I knew the parents and had been to their house.

Dd isn't allowed to peoples houses after school for tea as I do not know the other parents. (She obviously plays at my firends houses with their children without me sometimes) but I don;t feel comfortable letting her go in a car with people I don't know, go to their house and play - I definitely wouldn't let her stay over!

[colditz]

YABU

She's 7, perfectly old enough to go. Our school does weekend residentials in year 3!

[Tombliboobs]

YANBU

I am with Juuule and Gorionline, I also think it is too young and think that juule has given some good advice for handling it.

[LilyBolero]

Dd and her best friend have done sleepovers since they were 4 (but at school). Ds1 has done them from a similar age with his best friend.

So, YABU that 7 is not too young, but if you have other good reasons for not wanting to do it, then YANBU.

[piscesmoon]

It isn't too young but if it isn't convenient then just say so.
I think it is a good idea to do them around that age because if she is a Brownie she could go away with a group.
Last week I spent 20mins talking to an 10/11yr old who is about to go on the school residential trip and is very apprehensive (I think I must look sympathetic)-her main point, that she kept coming back to, was 'I have never even had a sleepover ever.'
I saw her at the beginning of this week and she told me she was going, but I daresay she will have a sleepless weekend worrying about it. I think her mother should have made sure that she was used to nights away from home-even if it was just granny. 7yrs is a good time to start if you haven't already. I would avoid it with a family do coming up as they don't sleep! But don't rule it out for a future-more convenient time.

[thedollshouse]

YANBU. A couple of my friends have started saying that they would like to start sleepovers for the children (our children are 5) and I wasn't very popular when I said that I would not entertain the idea until secondary school.

I'm not worried about safety issues as I trust my friends completely but I have no intention of looking after other peoples children at the weekend and I think that at 5 a play in the park is sufficient. Sleepovers are fine once the children are old enough to entertain themselves but completely pointless when they are little.

[Hulababy]

Good point about getting them used to staying away from home.

DD is 7y and has the opportunity for Brownie residentials. We are on holiday for the first one - two nights away - but if not, she'd have been going. She also will do a 3 night residential with school in May.

[LilyBolero]

They do love them though - and the pay off is that you get a free evening when the sleepover is returned! Dd loves it when her best friend stays, and they love having breakfast together and running round in their PJs!

[Ronaldinhio]

sounds a perfect idea

is 2.5 and 1.5 too old for a sleepover?

[LilyBolero]

And at age 5 they are perfectly able to amuse themselves - typically when dd has her best friend to stay they will play with the dolls/Polly pocket etc, make pizzas for tea, disappear upstairs to play with barbies, then get themselves to bed, and giggle till they fall asleep! No adult entertainment needed!

[overmydeadbody]

YABU to think 7 is too young. Sounds more like it just isn't convenient that week.

DS has been going to sleepovers for a while now and he's still only 6. Only last weekend he had a Beaver sleepover in the museum of Anthropology and Archaeology of all places, plenty of late-night shenanigans but all good fun!

You cannot use her age as an excuse.

[thedollshouse]

You may jest Ronald but the idea was first suggested to me before ds was even 2! I wish people would be honest and say that they want a babysitter and are prepared to return the favour rather than dress it up as a sleepover.

I'm a miserable old sod but weekends are family time, ds gets plenty of weekends away with his cousins he doesn't need sleepovers with schoolmates at his age.