To buy some Christmas presents second hand?

[Deemented]

Money is very tight this year.

I've been buying a little bit every month since about May, and putting it aside. But DS, 5, has been going on and on about getting a DSi. To be honest, i don't feel he's old enough for one yet - it's a lot of money for something that's easily broken, and i thing the only reason he wants one is because his cousin who's a year older then him, has one.

So he knows that he will not be getting one. However, i've been talking to DP, and we've come up with the idea of perhaps getting him a gameboy and a few games, and if he's shows me that he's responsible with it, and can look after it, then i'd be inclined to think about getting him a DSi next Christmas.

We went to a car boot sale yesterday, and found a gameboy colour with five games, a battery pack an a few other bits for just a tenner, so we bought it and put it up for him. I was telling my sister about it, and she was horrified that i'd even consider giving him second hand presents. It's in good condition, and works perfectly, so i can't see what the issue is.

DD will be 20 months at Christmas, and she really likes books, yunno the thick card ones, and i've picked a few up for her from car booters that have been in good clean condition. Again sister is horrified and wants assurances that whatever we get her son will not be second hand!!!

AIBU in buying second hand, or is she BU in turning her nose up at it?

[Everhopeful]

YANBU - definitely! They don't know the difference for ages and it's greener for the planet into the bargain. DD gets crazy amounts of stuff at Xmas (lucky thing) and sometimes takes ages to use it all anyway, so no way she'd spot it and she's 7. TBH, I'd sooner she got a bit less and took a bit better care with it, though I do my best.

I buy stuff off jumblies, car boots and ebay for people, though take care that wrappings look ok (usually: have something for one that comes in 5 box loads, so big fun for him, but no box as such)- why make Xmas any harder than it already can be? Mad.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

This thread has really got me thinking. It takes me back to growing up and my dad being out of work due to disability (from when I was 5) Mum and dad did the best they could for us, I mean Mum worked while dad looked after the home and us. But mum also had dad to care for. I remember her going without on so many occassions to make sure we never, and yes I know this is what us mums do, but i mean to the extent of wearing the same shoes for months on end and patching them up so she could get a bit longer out of them.

We did have new things and great days out but the things that stick in my mind are the jumble sales we went to, I LOVED rooting through and finding myself clothes, shoes, toys, etc. On the other hand my sister and brother would not come along. If we weren't at jumbles we were at home making clothes....

Now my sister is 41 and has 2 children, my brother is 36 and has no children (nor he is likely to) I am 34 and have 2 children.

My sisters children have EVERYTHING, every games console, every toy, mobile phones which sing and dance, digital cameras etc all bought brand new for them. They wear only name brand clothes and think they are it at 9 and 5.

My brother has everything and would not think of buying second hand goods for him or his partner.

Then there is me...
my sons have freecycle bunkbeds,
ds1 has a freecycle tv/dvd combi, freecycle bmx, freecycle chest of drawers, clothes, toys, etc
DS2 has only ever had a few brand new t-shirts.

as a family we do have a ps3 and a wii but these were gifts for us all.

Then I look at the difference in them and us, we spend a lot of time together as a family having fun, without spending money all the time. We have family fishing days, days in the parks, woods, on the bus going there and back...we have a family, the kids play in the living room, hallway pretty much everywhere but my room.

my sisters boys play only in their room or the garden....

considering we were all brought up the same way....I wonder why so many differences??

I would rather 50 gifts that cost a £1 each rather than one that cost £50, yet my siblings are so different.....

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Sorry went off on one there a bit.......goes and sits in the corner.

[Slickbird]

Interesting point by Stephief I too wouldn't buy something second hand for other people's kids, but as I said, wouldn't hesitate for my own.

[Holymoly321]

YANBU - your sis is an total snob - and it's her that will be wasting masses of money on brand new stuff for her lo's. DS1 and DS2 have both had lots of second hand stuff and love it all. In fact DS1 loves nothiing better than taking a few pennies to car boots and buying lots of goodies - and he is incredibly discerning, speed checking over the merchandise on a stall and often just moving on to the next stall without buying anything until he finds something he really wants to buy - just like his mummy! It teaches them the value of recycling and that new is not always best - it's the enjoyment of the item not where it came from that is important. When they get older it may become an issue, but whilst it isn't, save your money!

[Holymoly321]

Thought I'd add, DS1 just turned four last week!

[estar]

LadyEvenstar - I have the same with my brother and his kids. We didn't have much growing up (stuff had to actually explode before it was replaced - TV, car, etc) but it never bothered me at all. I still remember the excitement of getting a big bag of hand-me-down clothes from friends and seeing what treats (and nightmares!!) were inside it. I distinctly remember the year I got a brand new pair of Doc Martins for Christmas - it was the most exciting thing ever!

I really want my kids to have the same experince of valuing stuff and not just getting it all the time. They earn their pocket money through jobs and good behaviour, and they don't just get what they ask for immediately.

My DB on the other hand, married into a wealthier family with very few kids so his two girls get spoilt all the time with anything you can think of, and he seems to want them to have the opposite experience of what we had. Is there any difference between our quality of life and theirs? Nope. Do my kids appreciate their stuff more than their cousins? Yep.

I've even found that how they spend their time is different. Mine are so happy to play all day and make up imaginary games or read, with a bit of TV and computer games intersparsed - they never complain about being bored. My brother's kids need to have activities placed in front of them every day and to be out and about all the time (which costs a fortune) because it's what they're used to. My SIL finds it exhausting with two - I find it much easier with four!!

I think it's a shame.


Oh crap, I sound like my Grandma

[tinksbiggirlhasstartedschool]

it is ok to get second hand things in some circumstances ?

i agree probably wouldnt get board books second hand due to hygiene

i admitetly get all xmas and bday pressys new.

dd1 had some htings as a baby second hand from ebay.

as long as they are clean and work etc

i luv buying things though

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Estar, thats just how it is with my sis and I. My boys, well ds1 more than ds2 is happy to spend hours with his huge box of lego i got him off of freecycle. you know the big recycling boxes the council give you? he has 2 of them full of lego, lego men etc and I tell you they were his fav present for xmas last year. He knows where they come from and is always asking if there is more there to add to his collection. Where as DN1 (9) wanted lego and my sis spent a fortune on it he doesn't have a quarter of what ds1 does....

[clarebear1]

I get DD second hand stuff through out the year. My DH doesnt approve so i dont tell him. If its in good enough condition then i dont see whats wrong. I dont think id buy stuff for other children though unless it was new

[Deemented]

I have just made my day! Popped into our local charity shop and found a brand new, unopened Lego police Helicopter and car set - same one in Wilkinsons was £14.99.... i got it for just £3.50!!!

So that's DN taken care of then

And unless she reads here, my sister will never know as the box is immaculate!

[DoNotPressTheRedButton]

There are limits though.

My friend and her sister were little and told to leave the biggest rpesent until later- she remembers how excited they were, couldn't wait to rip it open to find...

a potato.

She still gets angry about it now, and I can see her point.

So- second hand- tick; root veg; no

[mamijacacalys]

YANBU

Boot sale and ebay addicts here...

DS has a PS2 and loads of games. We buy the games for 50p at boot sales. The whole shebang of console and controllers cost around £40. Also DS loves going to the boot sale of a Sunday morning and hunting out the stalls for games - bit like a treasure hunt!

Last Christmas we got about 50:50 new and 2nd hand things for DS and DD, but some of the boot sale 2nd hand stuff was literally like new (hardly played with) or still in cellophane...

[TALLULAHBELLEOFTHEBALLROOM]

So do you not use your local library then posie ?(There's no way I would buy a toddler second hand board books, you can't clean them and they put stuff in their mouths. )

[scattykatty]

Personally I wouldn't give my DS 2nd hand stuff for Xmas, but that's just me. I would give him 2nd stuff the rest of the year but Xmas I just like him to have new things.

I wouldn't give my sister obviously 2nd hand stuff, but would give her things that someone had had but never opened IYKWIM, like the Lego.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

I have just picked up a book at a local charity shop for ds1. £12.99 price tag on it got it for 50p.....

[clarebear1]

Good find!

[lottiejenkins]

Ive found a lovely new High School Musical picture for my friends daughter for xmas in a charity shop. One of those nice fabric ones pulled over the corners.
Dee by the way YANBU!!!!!!!!

[stressed2007]

"There's no way I would buy a toddler second hand board books, you can't clean them and they put stuff in their mouths."

What do you think you your children use at nursery?

[shockers]

My parents were at uni until I was 5 and I never got a new present. I always thought my stuff was better than my cousins because his didn't come in nice boxes like mine did. My sticklebricks were in a biscuit tin painted with red gloss and adorned with Magic Roundabout stickers ( showing my age there!) and when I was a little older, my portable record player had glittery stickers that said "groovy" and "fab" on the cover... I loved it. I only found out why a few years later when one of them came off and there was a scratch underneath.
I wonder if kids who get everything new will remember gifts with such fondness?

[AliGrylls]

Absolutely YANBU - I would do it if I had too. She is a snob. After all presents are meant to be a token and not meant to put a serious financial strain on people.

[mamadiva]

Shockers I think you amke a good point there.

I have to admit my mum and dad spoiled us rotten at christmas with the latest, shiniest stuff you could find at the time and there was lots of it! Infact too much.

One year my borther and I got a PS2, TV/DVD combi and a PC between us plus all the other stuff for us each! It was great at the time but I know that as much as the stuff cost there was never a lot of thought put into it, just a case of oh look that's new they will want that IYKWIM.

I'm trying my hardest to stop that from happening with my DS, even if we could afford it I would'nt do that because when I moved out of my mums I felt like christmas has been shit ever since but it hasnt been just that I think because I can't buy thousands of gifts then we won't enjoy it.

[Mamamoppel]

YANBU!

[Speckledeggy]

It's a great idea!

I got a bike for Christmas when I was five. Never realised it at the time but it was secondhand from one of my sister's friends. My Dad took it all apart and re-sprayed it in Ford Cortina purple. I absolutely loved it. My Dad died earlier this year but when I think about all the trouble he went to it warms my heart. Who needs a new bike when your Dad is prepared to do something like that?

What does your sister do with anything she wants to get rid of, stick it in the bin to go into landfill because recycling and giving to charity is so disgusting? Ignore her. You really don't need her approval.

[alysonpeaches]

DS is on his second DS lite. His first one was secondhand and for last Christmas. He didnt notice or comment. Unfortunately it broke and we couldnt do anything about sending it back. Repairs started at £40. Recently money has been less tight and I got him one of the £70 on offer ones from Tesco (kept receipt in case he breaks this one). He actually wanted a DSi because friend X has one, but we saw what the DSi did that the lite didnt (photos, editing) and realised that as he was game mad the photos wouldnt get used anyway. He was so delighted to get it he never mentioned it wasnt DSi. Before this, he used his uncles old gameboy advance and still uses his game cube.

Second hand didnt worry our little boy, it didnt worry us, so who else matters? The only thing is, if breaks it, there's no guarantee, but as its a gameboy its far more robust than the DS. Our gameboy has been dropped so many times (even outdoors) and continues to function well. Its more shockproof than the DS. Plus. many of the gameboy advance games can be used on the DS. You did the right thing. He will love it.