To buy some Christmas presents second hand?

[Deemented]

Money is very tight this year.

I've been buying a little bit every month since about May, and putting it aside. But DS, 5, has been going on and on about getting a DSi. To be honest, i don't feel he's old enough for one yet - it's a lot of money for something that's easily broken, and i thing the only reason he wants one is because his cousin who's a year older then him, has one.

So he knows that he will not be getting one. However, i've been talking to DP, and we've come up with the idea of perhaps getting him a gameboy and a few games, and if he's shows me that he's responsible with it, and can look after it, then i'd be inclined to think about getting him a DSi next Christmas.

We went to a car boot sale yesterday, and found a gameboy colour with five games, a battery pack an a few other bits for just a tenner, so we bought it and put it up for him. I was telling my sister about it, and she was horrified that i'd even consider giving him second hand presents. It's in good condition, and works perfectly, so i can't see what the issue is.

DD will be 20 months at Christmas, and she really likes books, yunno the thick card ones, and i've picked a few up for her from car booters that have been in good clean condition. Again sister is horrified and wants assurances that whatever we get her son will not be second hand!!!

AIBU in buying second hand, or is she BU in turning her nose up at it?

[lizzymum]

Freecycle is brilliant, got rid of loads of clothes my youngest has outgrown and my buggy,travel cot and bed guard. you have to join your local Freecycle group, people post what they want to recycle to someone else and also ask if someone has what they want. My friend got a new mattress still wrapped in plastic on there. You have to be prepared to go and pick up the item from the freecycler, most seem to be in my local area. I'm going to have a toy clear out soon before Xmas and if someone has something my kids want I'll get it off the site.

[belcantwait]

Yanbu at all. i am currently bidding on and winning several bratz dolls for dd (yuckety yuck but shes desperate for them!)- just 'won' 3 for about 2 quid each!

[stinkypinky]

I will always get stuff second hand if I can - kids cost enough just with feeding, nappies and childcare. The only things I buy new for DD are pants, socks, and nighties. I still look out in the sales for bargains. Why not make your money go further? and I think it helps teach the kids a valuable lesson too.

[qwertpoiuy]

As children, everything we got was secondhand and we didn't complain. And the germs didn't do us any harm.

[Deemented]

Thanks all for your positive posts.

I've actually now decided that i'm going to try and buy as much second hand as i can get away with. As lots have you have said, it seems to make sense, especially when on a very tight budget.

I'm currently pregnant at the moment, and much to my sisters dissaproval, i'm going to a NCT sale next weekend and plan to get all the vests/babygros ect that baby will need. I'm actually really excited about it!!

I'm not sure what problem my sister has with it. I was thinking of making homemade sweets ect for her and my other siblings, but she doesn't see things like that as 'real' presents. The more i think of it, the more materialistic i think she is. It's sad really, because my mum never brought us up to be like that. We often had second hand stuff growing up. Perhaps that's the problem...

[Wigeon]

Just to add to the chorus - YANBU. My DD has loads and loads of second hand things (clothes, toys, beakers, bottles etc etc). From Oxfam, NCT nearly new sales, handmedowns from kind SIL, Freecycle, eBay etc etc.

However, I am a total hypocrite because one of my top favourite presents when I was small (I think I got it for my 2nd or 3rd birthday) was a toy pram - a proper mini-pram like a Silver Cross - and I was appalled to find out recently (I'm now 30) that my mum got it second hand!!

[funtimewincies]

Just another voice to add to the YANBU camp and to hear about your sister's attitude, especially with regards to her son's present. I hope that she doesn't have the gall to complain when you get him something new but small and inexpensive, given your money situation.

Ds is 2.10 and we've been very lucky and have been given many tops and trousers second hand. We tell him that he's got some 'new clothes' and he's delighted, 'new' simply means 'novelty' at the this age.

[DamonBradleylovesPippi]

YRdefinitelyandtotallyNBU.

I have done it and will keep on doing it till I can. No shame in this household to have second hand toys.

[rusmum]

i buy lots of (most of) my dd's toys 2nd hand, is they are clean in good condition and work why on earth not? After all mostly they throw them around for 5 minutes and then loose interest

DD2 had a bratz van and dolls from a local charity shop for her bd- cleaned up and wrapped she knows no different and loves it- when they are older we wont be able to get away with it so enjoy LOL

[Bear]

Hell yeah - I urge you to check out Present Sense - sustainable giving made easy, set up by Mums who wanted to give gifts that don't cost the earth.

[Grumpla]

I have not bought a single item of baby clothes or equipment new for my son. Okay, one pair of dungarees. But they were a fiver from TKMaxx. Everything else has been literally pennies from ebay and charity shops. What's the point of buying new? Kids grow out of stuff so quickly that second hand stuff is hardly ever worn out, and you're going to wash it before you put it on them anyway! People always compliment me on how nicely he is dressed btw, you would never guess what a skinflint I am to look at him

I wouldn't be at all offended if someone bought me a secondhand present, especially if it was something original and well chosen so YA definitely NBU. Give your sister's family £1 book tokens and a gift-wrapped bottle of Dettol each, that should do the trick.

[Slickbird]

God no, YANBU. Sensible as hell. I wish there were more people like you in the world. The pressure to buy our children expensive crap is just ridiculous, and you are right, in my opinion, he is too young.

It was my DD1's 2nd Birthday two weeks ago and I was going to look for a tea-set, a pop-up toaster and a kettle etc. And QUITE BY CHANCE I found them in a charity shop for the grand total of 6 quid. We got her other new things too, but I have to say, the 1.50 pop-up toaster with the carboard cut-out toast (improvisation my me! ) was a sure fire hit.

I will def check out this avenue again for Christmas.

Reduce, reuse, recylce, I say.

[Stephief]

Hi,

I dont think you are being unreasonable. I have to admit I wouldnt buy second hand presents for my kids, but I do get them second hand toys (not as presents) I am not a snob, I just like buying them brand new presents! But dp often buys second hand games consoles for his kids for xmas and b'days, and it doesnt seem to bother them!
But I would never buy someone elses child second hand presents, but neither would I be upset or offended if someone else bought my kids anything second hand. But its not a huge issue for me as in my family we have always spent a set amount per child rather than buy a particular item, so if I had a sis who specified no 2nd hand, the child would just recieve a lesser present IYKWIM!

[caramelwaffle]

Yanbu.

[MmeProf]

I have bought second-hand for my own DCs. Why not?

We don't really buy for outside of the family, but if we did, I'd be inclined to buy new, unless it was a bona fide antique.

[you]

No YANBU as many people have already said but just wanted to throw in my baragain of the century story...

Went to a fete at a local school last week and got 2 christmas books and about 10 other different practically brand new hardback books for 10p each!! So that's what DD's getting for christmas this year and the next few years (she's only 6mo)

Luckily everyone in my family and DH family, plus all of my friends are cheapskates skint also so no judging!

[estar]

When your kids are little, why spend more money than you have to - there's plenty of stress time for that later on when they're teenagers and will become fussier about stuff.

Especially as Christmas should be about quality family time - the extra savings could be spent on fuel or train tickets to go and see more relatives or a family day out while our DHs have time off work.

As long as its genuinely nice stuff and not crap - we have a bet going on in our family to see which of us receives the most bizzarre and unsuitable gift each year from my Gran, who buys things like china cups and saucers for 5 year old boys and laminated pictures of dolphins for people's 18th birthdays (always from charity shops).

All the while she will try to film the festivities with a brand new digital camera (the film of which will never see the light of day as she has no idea what to do with it afterwards) or fruitlessly clicks away on an iPhone that is flashing in her face and taking multiple snaps of her own nose.

Her presents are crap but the entertainment is priceless .

[isittooearlyforgin]

i don't even think its a matter of being able to afford something or not, second hand makes sense for so many reasons including budget!
My sis also is a second hand snob and would be horrified if i bought her kids second hand, but i think its all a matter of choices. Her kids always have brand new clothes from next and m&s, mine have her handmedowns, car boot,charity shop & free cycle. They can't afford to go out in the evening and we can.

[nlpmum]

Just to join the chorus: We buy just about all of our christmas pressies from ebay or the local charity shops or we make people things. Most of our friends are very eco and we encourage our kids to choose a book from their vast collection (our local charity shops are brill) to pass on to their friend at birthdays. Lots of the invitations we get actually say on the invite "if you would like to give a pressie please find something to recycle our way but our kids have plenty so presents not at all obligatory". And it's so true, our kids have so much and despite all the toys, 90% of the time my 4 yr old is using the best toy of all..... his imagination - absolutely free and far more creative (and possibly valuable as a "toy") than any of the plastic trash you could give. Most kids enjoy playing with a big cardboard box more than just about anything else. We have spent hours making rockets and houses from them. anyway, now I'm rambling. Crux of the matter is, I agree wholeheartedly with everyone else. F

[Woollymummy]

if i were you i would go out of my way to buy something really lovely and obviously second-hand, and tell the kid that it has been handed down to them now that he is old enough to play with it, and make the point to him tat seond hand is better. just because she is your sister doesn't mean he has to remain ignorant!

[1dilemma]

YANBU and she is being a snob

One of the best things we got was a really battered box of playmobil from a local fair held shut with sellotape

got it home and opened the box to find the whole thing still in it's little plastic packets!!

'tis a legend in our house

cost £3!

[citybranch]

I used to buy the stepkids bits from bootsales, and DH's ex used to scream at him on the doorstep when he dropped the kids off, "I told you never to buy them secondhand stuff, you don't know where it has been, they could catch something etc etc...." The things would go straight in the bin and the boys would be so upset!

DH used to get in a rage about it, he felt it particularly unjust as she smoked throughout her preganancies, yet couldn't have secondhand stuff in the house ?!?!

When eldest DSS was diagnosed with leukaemia she blamed DH because he bought him a secondhand football shirt!
Hmmmmmm!

I was also at a carboot sale recently, browsing at one stall, chatting to the woman selling. Her 2 sons turned up with drinks, and some toys in carrier bags, all excited. The mother started shouting at them! "I've told you we don't buy secondhand! You don't know where it's been! It could have fleas...!"

Yet she was selling there!
YANBU. But some people are just ridiculously anti-secondhand, it seems...I do wonder where such extreme feeling stems from!

[colditz]

It stems from dimness, mainly.

I heart second hand things - I can usually buy quality WAY out of my league than if I bought new.

[GenerationGap]

when I was about 7 (a long time ago) my grandad filled an old biscuit tin with a second hand Sindy doll and loads of outfits that he bought from a second hand market stall. It was my best present that year and I can still remember my delight at some flowered flaired jeans (1970s) and a yellow evening dress. Looking back it gives me a warm feeling to think my grandad saw these things and thought I would like them. I had only ever got one outfit at a time before and I had a whole box full and another doll!!!