to be annoyed at being told 'well done' for BF at the 8 week check?

[misscreosote]

Just took DD2 for her 8 week check and jabs (boy can she scream!). HV asked the standard 'how are you feeding her' question, and when I said BF, she said 'well done'. If I was a dog she might have patted me on the head. And then I somehow felt it necessary to justify myself (I don't know why) by explaining about DD1's dairy allergy, etc etc.

Why has this wound me up so much (I am a bit tired admittedly )?? I think its just because BF is blooming normal, so shouldn't warrant a 'well done', and also, conversely if I was FF, then is that 'not well done'? Who is she to be making a judgement. Grrr.

(PS please please, not a debate about the relative merits of FF and BF... Whatever goes is fine by me )

[lovechoc]

HVs are patronising, you should know that by now since this is your second DC! YABU.

[Frasersmum123]

Oh if this is all you have to worry about then life must be very easy.

What would you have preferred her to say? She is congratulating you because you have managed to do it for 8 weeks, lots of people dont (me included with both my DS's)

[Niecie]

I suppose it depends on the tone of voice she used. If she talked you like you would talk to a toddler who used the potty for the first time then I imagine it would be patronising.

If she just said well done as a quick response to acknowledge what you had told her then I think YABU.

She probably would have said 'fine' if you had told her you were ff. Again an acknowledgement of what you told her, not passing judgement.

Asking the question is also a way of opening up the lines of discussion so that you can say if you have any worries. I am sure that she is also glad that you don't.

[Mumcentreplus]

..relax my dear.....she's just using her professional voice is all..

[WidowWadman]

Fwiw, I remember a lot of people saying "Congratulations, well done!" when I told them I was pregnant. I always found thata weird thing to say.

Being told "well done" for breastfeeding after 8 weeks however is nice and just acknowledges that it's not easy to get through the first few weeks.

[scottishmummy]

unclench someone paid you a spontaneous compliment. she didnt judge you she merely said "well done"

[PuppyMonkey]

well done for admitting you were being unreasonable, OP.

[stonethecrows]

Curiosity killed...

Just wanted to say congrats on the twin pregnancy - but BF twins is a whole different ball game - so accept any help offered!! (I say that as a successful Bfeeder of my singleton, and then a struggle to feed by any means at all mum of twins!)

[stonethecrows]

PS OP YABU

[maggievirgo]

Well, it was agony for me, so I was telling myself 'well done' for persevering with it. I would have hated anybody to suggest it was the least I could do and no big deal. It was hard work and it hurts. So I lapped up any praise/recognition that was going.

[GeorgeTheSlitheen]

I'm really chuffed whenever anyone says well done to me

yabu

[giraffesCantRunA10k]

yabvu

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

YABU

HVs can't win some times.

She was trying to give you a compliment.

[chegirl]

YABU but if you are knackered its understandable.

My hv didnt ask me how I was feeding she said 'what brand of milk are you feeding baby?'

I said 'mine' (ok I might not have been that quick but it was something about bf)

She said 'ARE you? Are you sure?'

Now that's patronising

[nakaji]

OMG Just goes to show you can never keep everyone happy.
FFS she gave you a compliment and you are whining. World Health Organisation says BF is better than FF - so she congratulated you for trying to do the best for your baby. What a cow.

[jalopy]

Ffs.

[2shoes]

yabu
but will let you off as you have a diddy baby

[bruffin]

YANBU

Never understand why people need to be told well done for breastfeeding. It is very patronising and unnecessary.
Should be banned on message boards as well.

[HighOnDieselAndGasoline]

LOL at chegirl's HV asking 'are you sure?'

[littlebrownmouse]

My fabulous HV asked me if i was breast feeding my 9lb 14oz at birth baby when I went for my 8 week check. When I said "Yes" she said "well done, not many people manage it, she's putting lots of weight on. is she feeding often?" I answered "yes, every hour and a half" and she said "Well done you, you're doing a brilliant job."

DD is now 4 and I still remember the conversation and the fact that it made me feel really proud of myself. We don't get praised for much we do as parents and I loved my HV even more for taking the time to give me a bit of praise. Small things and all that but take the praise on the chin and walk tall. I'd like to say well done every time I see someone breast feeding!

[gonaenodaethat]

What a bitch!!!!

[gonaenodaethat]

[LovelyTinOfSpam]

YANBU agree with bruffin.

[gingerbunny]

When I took my 6month old for his check, they asked if I was still feeding and when I said yes and that i was hoping to do it for as long as I did with my first son (a year), I got an 'oh aren't you good'.
Think she probably said it because she maybe doesn't get the opportunity to say it much!!

[swineofthetimes]

YABU - move on.