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AIBU?

F£$^%&g chuggers!

83 replies

babyignoramus · 22/07/2009 16:06

I was in town with a friend today. DS (5 months) is normally v. good natured but was screaming his head off having a bit of a whinge. I am heading to the shop my friend wants to go in, obviously in a hurry to get there so I can hide in a corner and whip him out of the pushchair to see what the matter is. 2 fecking chuggers tried to stop me with a screaming child. Do I look like I am able to stop and talk now you idiot?? Then when I leave the shop, having exhausted all possiblities and decided to take him home another one tries to stop the people in front of me effectively completely blocking the path - again I've got a screaming child and am clearly trying to run for the bus that has just stopped.

I hate them I hate them I HATE THEM!!

I feel better now. As you were.

OP posts:
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chegirl · 22/07/2009 21:03

Sorry, just went off for me dinner, wasnt being enigmatic or anything

Well ok if you insist.

Some of you may know that my DD died from cancer 3 years ago. She spent about 70% of the two years she was ill in hospital. The main hospital we were in was in central London.

The hosptital was very well known for having a children's oncology unit. Children from all over London and the home counties came for their treatment there. Cancer charities would have certainly been aware of this.

At one awful point my DD was in for 6 weeks. She had had a terrible reaction to chemo and was on the brink for many weeks. Apart from the risk of losing her there was the dreadfulness of what was happening to her. The reaction she had was truly horrendous and she suffered a lot.

I always stayed with DD when she was in hospital but I did have to get out everyday at some point for food etc. During this time I was being accosted by chuggers almost every single day. They were collecting for a cancer charity ( I really dont know which one). They were on the same street as the hospital so they wouldve known it was there and probably chose the location on purpose.

They would approach me and say their 'Do you KNOW what its like when a child you love gets diagnosed with cancer?' 'Do you know how many children get diagnosed with cancer every day' 'Do you care about children with cancer?' and the one that finally finished me 'HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR CHILD WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER? MISS (they always call you Miss so you feel flattered I suppose), MISS HOW DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD FEEL?'

So I fucking told him how I fucking felt and how he would fucking feel if he and his fucking clipboard came anywhere near me again and he better tell his fucking friend that a mad woman was on the loose so they better fucking watch out.

(excuse all the fucks but sometimes no other word will do).

What hurt me so much was the knowledge that this was happening to all the parents who stepped out of the hospital for 5 mins breathing space.

The above is not the only time this sort of thing has happened and it doesnt always end in the same way. A lot of the time I just walk away and sometimes I cry. Sometimes I tell them politely but am usually met with glazed looks or some glib reply (Oh so you DO know what its like).

Wankers.

Bet you wished you never asked now

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BuckBuckMcFate · 22/07/2009 21:13

chegirl, dont be

Firstly, so sorry to hear about your DD

And secondly, Fuck away!!! What a horrible tactic for them to use to try and get people to sign up. Surely logic should've told them that a high percentage of the foot traffic in that area would be people with relatives in the hspital or people going for treatment.

Big RAHHHHHHHHH on your behalf!!

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Katisha · 22/07/2009 21:16

Chegirl and

I get accosted by chuggers at the top of Tottenham Court Road and I am usually walking Very Fast to get to Euston. I generally just shout the time of my train as I stomp by...

The thing is that they must get results or else they wouldn't be doing it, surely? And yet who is going to stand there and hand over their bank details in the street?

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DesperateHousewifeToo · 22/07/2009 21:19

Chegirl, that must have made a terrible situation even more unbearable for you.

I hope those particular chuggers learnt a good lesson in showing empathy that they can use in the future when they are more mature.

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TheCrackFox · 22/07/2009 21:21

Chegirl that is terrible and I am so sorry about your daughter.

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chegirl · 22/07/2009 21:28

Thank you all

I couldnt have been just me could it? Lots of poor people must have been harrassed and upset by those twonks.

Katisha Well there is another children's unit at the new UCH (we went there after the other hospital closed down) so they are obviously still at it . Lets hope any illness specific charities are not using that particular pitch.

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Katisha · 22/07/2009 21:33

Yes they are still at it although I tend not to hang about long enough to see which charity they are.

It went away for quite a while but recently has come back. And also in Regent St near Oxford Circus. It must work for them but there can't be anyone that likes it surely?

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junglist1 · 22/07/2009 22:00

See chegirl your story proves they are like fucking robots. I bet there was no apology forthcoming when they realised you GENUINELY cared about cancer

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chegirl · 22/07/2009 22:28

No,just more vacant head tilting. I was half expecting smoke to start coming out his ears al la Stepford Wives.

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GentlyDoesIt · 22/07/2009 22:29

Chegirl, you're right, so many people are currently being affected by the kinds of issues that many charities are dealing with.

I think too often that chuggers are young people who are less likely to have experienced bereavement or serious illness. Sure there will be some that don't fit that description, but I imagine that many people at 19 won't have considered that saying "Do you know what it's like to lose someone you love to X?" is likely to yield a reasonable hit rate of people who can reply "yes, actually, I'm in the middle of it."

There will also be the odd 50+ year old who is happy to use this tactic, but IME the vast majority of that age group prefer to shake a tin modestly because they are more aware that everyone comes with their own story.

I know I was a bit self-righteous at 19 (still am in many ways )

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GentlyDoesIt · 22/07/2009 22:32

sorry Chegirl, the first sentence of my last post was pointlessly banal! I sounded like a newsreader from Brass Eye there

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cheesesarnie · 22/07/2009 22:37

eurgh i hate the word 'chugger'!

i always tell them im already giving to whatever charity theyre representing.liar,liar pants on fire.

or that i will give to their charity but i wont be able to feed my children. smile nicely and walk away.

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chegirl · 22/07/2009 22:52

Not banal at all gently

I was also hidiously self righteous as a teen

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GentlyDoesIt · 22/07/2009 22:55

Thanks chegirl

I might as well have said "Many people are currently being supported by the charities that support them" Trust me to churn out the golden nuggets of wisdom!

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Woooozle100 · 22/07/2009 23:08

chegirl that's awful. Seems a bit naive that they stand outside hospital and don't expect to pick on someone living the hell of their cause - their aproach is just especially inappropriate and insensitive

Would react exactly like you - specially from the sleep deprived stress filled bubble that is hospital (I spend a lot of time on them fold up beds)

When collector first came to my door few years ago, I really didn't understand how it all worked and was quite perplexed that she didn't want my one off donation

the theme from chuggington on cbeebies is on my internal jukebox now- chugger chugger chugger chugger chugger chugger chugger

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chegirl · 22/07/2009 23:34

But that you have to go through the stress of being in hosptial with DC.

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AvadaKedavra · 23/07/2009 12:43

bloody hell, that's awful chegirl I do hope they learnt from it. Doubt it somwhow though

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hoping4thebest · 23/07/2009 13:26

fil told me to put arm out like a policeman stopping traffic and say loudly and firmly "no thankyou". This works.
Also,
"I am on my lunch break, where do you have your lunch so I can come and talk to you about getting a smear/ bowel movements/ how big my dh penis is etc?"
Lean in close to their ear and whisper
"I know ALL about you and I suggest that you back off right now!"
"My dad warned me to stay well away from guys who don't take no for an answer."
"Sorry, I am not allowed to talk to strangers"

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kando · 23/07/2009 13:51

chegirl and

We have them in my local town too, standing in "line formation" all the way up the high street! If they try to approach me I usually start talking to dd3 which seems to put them off. Otherwise, I just ask them if they have a website and I'll do it that way. They really are a PITA though.

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Morloth · 23/07/2009 14:03

I think I have the fuck off look down as well. Usually eye contact along with a firm "No" works well, sometimes though you just have to go for the rolled up newspaper (or whatever you happen to have in your hand).

Anyone knocking on my door without a good reason gets a "Go Away" and the door being closed on them.

You English types are far to polite for your own good. Try being ruder, it is a lot more fun.

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MissM · 23/07/2009 14:26

I hate chuggers with a vengeance. the other day they accosted me and a friend, both carrying tired and grumpy 3 year-olds so we could get to a train in time and pushing buggies. Hardly the best people to approach surely?

But I dislike them even more after reading Chegirl's experience. I know this is asking a lot, but did you ever consider writing to the charity concerned and telling exactly how insensitively placed their chuggers were? Probably not at the time I realise.

My brother died of cancer recently, and a few weeks before he died I got accosted by a chugger who clearly had cancer, raising money for a cancer charity. He was about the same age as my brother and I was in a terrible state afterwards. I could see his reasons for doing it, but was a bit at the charity's motives.

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MissM · 23/07/2009 14:31

Oh and the other reason I hate chuggers was that I was approached by one raising money for the very charity that had just made me (and 100s of others) redundant on the day I got my redundancy notice. Poor guy, wasn't his fault, but boy did I let him have it!

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Wonderstuff · 23/07/2009 14:45

chegirl, very cynical tactic on the part of the fundraising company.

I was a chugger for a few months, used to phone people too. We were always trained about the charity, and had to make our own pitch when face to face and had a script on the phone, written in consoltation with the charity. The Cancer Research one asked about peoples experience, it was very sensitive and assumed the donator had a personal experience. It was drummed into us to do our upmost not to piss people off, and to maintain a good reputaion for the charity. Always accept no and be very polite. 'Chuggers' raise lots of money for worthy causes (although our company had most success for dogs trust ) If it didn't work they wouldn't do it.

I actually was proud of my job, I raised lots of money for some great charities. Tin shakers raise very little in comparison.

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chegirl · 23/07/2009 17:50

MissM I am very sorry about your brother, how absolutly devasting for you and your family. Being faced with a young man with cancer must have been extrodinarily difficult for you too

Wonderstuff this must be a hard thread for you to read and you are brave to be so honest and out yourself as a chugger . I dont doubt that most chuggers go into the job with at least a vague sense of doing something worthwhile. I have seen the jobs advertised and they make a big deal of 'making a difference'.

The trouble is that they seem to be disliked and the method tends to at best annoy and at worse distress.

I know charities have to make money, I spent most of my working life with one charity or another. I also understand the need to make emotive adverts (I have a thread going about one that particularly upsets me). There is always going to be a problem balancing the needs of the charity with the needs of the users of the charity.

For eg. I remember a newly diagnosed friend being very upset by the MS soc's advertising campaign. It made her feel her life was not going to be worth living. But if you paint life with MS as wonderful and problem free who is going to give you money?

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Wonderstuff · 23/07/2009 19:09

ex-chugger
I think that the industry needs to be tightened up and that charities need to be more involved. Chuggers don't work for charities, but private companies that charities employ.

I also think that it hasn't been long since giving to charity involved putting a few pence in a collection box and now we have gift aid and direct debits and charities are sometimes multi-million pound organisations. Some people aren't comfortable with this.

Balancing drawing peoples attention (and money) to an issue and not upsetting them or invading their space is always going to be difficult. But we can't go back to rattling tins.

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