to have no sympathy for people who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant...

[wannaBe]

Im not talking about people who have had contraceptive failures, but about those who don't use contracepteion and then find that after they've had sex they are pregnant. I mean it's not rocket science is it?

Friend thinks she may be pregnant. She has a 5 month old baby. Says she will be devastated if she is pregnant, and in the next breath "the dr did give me a prescription for the pill but I couldn't be bothered to take them."

Well sorry but if you have unprotected sex then chances are you will get pregnant...

[wannaBe]

well quite. And even if you did have one drunken night, there's always the morning after pill.

Contraceptive failure is of course a different matter.

But yes, if you really don't want another baby then you would make damn sure you didn't have one. Not using contraception must surely mean that you do actually want another baby...

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

I think people think it is a lot harder to get pregnant that it sometimes is as there are so many stories of people who can't conceive.

I agree with wannabe really. If you have sex, and don't use anything then there is a chance you will conceive.

[TheFallenMadonna]

I wouldn't take the morning after pill.

I like to think I wouldn't have sex without a condom either of course.

I don't think it's as simple as an unconscious desire for a baby that makes people careless though.

[HerBeatitude]

AnnVan I do feel sympathy for your acquaintance.

Anyone who is that mental deserves sympathy. And some serious therapy as well, it seems crazy to me that the NHS doesn't pick up that she's obviously demented and needs some serious help.

The idea that she's "run out of NHS abortions" and therefore has to have the baby is horrifying. Poor baby. Why does it make sense to force her to have a baby if she's not competent enough to have an abortion? How can having a baby require a lower level of competence than having an abortion?

[BalloonSlayer]

Do people have a limited number of free abortions on the NHS then?

I never knew that!

Live and learn...

[TheFallenMadonna]

There's a limit to NHS terminations? Why?

[FAQinglovely]

wannabe - none of us ever dreamed that not only would we only have to have sex once to fall pg with our first, but also our second and third would also be just one moment of passion! (DS3 was NOT planned, MAP taken after night of foolishness.......the rest is documented well on MN.......)

I mean come on - how many people (even those of us who know how babies are made) are lucky enough to get pg 3 times with only 3 nights of unprotected sex (not all in a row - approx 3yrs between each of them )

[FabBakerGirlIsBack]

Me.

But all 4 were planned.

[poshsinglemum]

My cousin got pregnant on the pill people. She was gutted but came round.

However, as I have said before- why blame the woman? Surely a man is more than capable of insisting he wear a condom. It is his cock after all!

[FAQinglovely]

phew another one with super sperm and eggs .

Honest to god I knew was possible, but thought it couldn't possibly happen the 3rd time - especially not as I'd taken the MAP approx 10hours after the moment of foolishness

Needless to say DS3 is an absolute cutee

[marenmj]

Maybe sympathy is the wrong word? Obviously I would feel for my friend if she was preggo and didn't want to be (my particular friend is surprised and thrilled), but there's a big difference between a surprise baby and not wanting to have a baby and getting pregnant.

DD was a surprise baby, but then, we weren't trying to prevent pregnancy either. We had a bit of money stashed away, liked our jobs, had reasonable diets, and wore clean underpants every day. We needed to keep it interesting

[AnnVan]

AFAIK the limit is for cost reasons. so you can have 3 on the nhs, after that you have to go private. Limited resources and all that.

[FAQinglovely]

[LuluMaman]

there is a difference between a contraception failure and not taking it properly or not taking it at all

and yes of course the man should be equally responsible and insist on a condom etc.. but as the woman is teh one ultimately who will be pregnant and give birth or have to have a termination, i think taking extra responsibility is wortwbhile

[poshsinglemum]

I got pregnant after the morning after pill but I was thrilled. It is NOT an effective form of contraception.

making babies really isn't as simple as that.

[FAQinglovely]

"making babies really isn't as simple as that. "

you don't say

[MorrisZapp]

My two pet hate phrases are 'fell pregnant' and 'came along' as in 'well we were going to wait to start our family but then DC1 came along and our plans changed' as if babies have a habit of arriving unplanned and with no warning.

At the end of the day, if somebody is dealing with an uneanted pg then I do generally sympathise with that.

What I do scratch my head at is the many friends of mine who managed to avoid pg throughout their teens and 20's and then 'fell pg' in their 30's. Hmmmm.

I have my suspicions but I guess it's their own business why they couldn't admit they actually wanted to get pg!

[Hulababy]

Not sure I'd feel sympathy for someone who decdes to have unprotected sex and then finds out they are pregnant. I would offer support if they were a friend obviously, and could empathise with their situation perhaps, but sympathy no.

I am sure even as a young teenager I knew that unprotected sex = chance of pregnancy. If you don't want a baby you use contraception or don't do it.

Obviously if you get pregnant whilst using conraception that is different.

But then this is coming from someone who hasn't usd contraception for almost 5 years and still remains not pregnant.

[FAQinglovely]

Hula - I can understand that - and that's why I'm never going suggest wine and whisky drinking again (on the same night ).

Blimey sex was infrequent enough as it was, unprotected unheard of.......but added those 2 in and we were both so blotto that neither of us thought to do anything about it .

[expatinscotland]

what Hula said.

[sleeplessinstretford]

i have been pregnant 4 times, first time on the pill using it properly, second time i was an idiot-just out of long term relationship and thought i should stop taking my pill as that way i'd be sure to use condoms if i decided to shag someone-readers,they don't work, third time i was on the pill but had been sick and so took the morning after pill (that doesn't work-at all and is currently sat beside me drinking a beaker of milk) and the 4th time, on the pill AND breastfeeding (had been prescribed antibiotics by a dentist which stopped it working)
i am either super fertile or the pill doesn't work (what's the bet when i go for another next year and actually physically TRY it wont work???)

[AnnVan]

I've been pregnant twice. The first time, we were using condoms, but still conceived. After I mc'd We adopted a 'laissez faire' policy to contraception. Ahem. Or rather, we just stopped being quite so bothered about not getting pregnant. So although we didn't consciously plan to have DS, we weren't exactly trying not to either
My housemate got pregnant twice because she was hhigh and didn't use contraception, and the third time because she wasn't taking her pill regularly, and her bf wouldn't use condoms because 'they hurt'.

[dizzymare]

I'm unexpectedly pregnant, used contraception, expecting twins and you are being unreasonable

[EldonAve]

There is no limit to free terminations on the NHS

[Paolosgirl]

Dizzy - the OP wasn't talking about contraception failure, rather a complete lack of contraception. As in our case