to not want people to I don't know to touch my baby?

[supagirl]

WHY when I am out and about with my dd who is 1, do total starngers think it's ok to come up and touch her.

Yes, she's adorable, I am very proud of her and happy for you to come over and interact with her, but WHY do you have to touch her????

I am fed up with people grabbing her hands, touching her face, tickling her and one lady even put her finger in her mouth!!!! I don't know you, I don't know if you've washed your hands after using the loo or whatever and you are total strangers to my dd so PLEASE respect her personal space a little!

I have had this with all my LO's and have not yet figured out a way to stop it from happening. Now I am pg again and have people touching my bump AS WELL which I also don't like!

Does this bug other people or aibu?

SG

[LadyAga]

Piscesmoon; Unless I am caught in the rush hour commute I think britain is very child friendly and it has never crossed my mind that it is.

I don't like people touching my baby's face or hands. Just because you and others on here don't mind doesn't make the OP unreasonable, it simply shows a difference of opinion. I don't think pro-touchers are unreasonable and I don't understand why pro-touchers think the rest of us are.

[LadyAga]

...never crossed my mind that it isn't , ie I don't complain.

[mamadiva]

I did'nt like it when DS was a baby although most people would stop to talk to us and have a nosey in the push chair whilst going to put their hand in to touch hair or whatever and then yank it straight back out again when the saw his burn type eczema which was normally followed up by 'what happened to him?'

Although he is now 3 and has everyone talking and playing with him last week an old man was prdding his belly with a walking stick in the post office

[2shoes]

yabu apart from the finger bit.
in a couple of years time you will be moaning cos people don't want your child about

[Olifin]

I wouldn't like the finger-in-mouth but otherwise, I think it's lovely when strangers want to tickle babies, touch their face or hold their hands etc..

I agree with all those that say the dislike of touching sounds a very British thing (although I'd bet it's even worse in the States) as they seem very fond of touching babies on the Continent.

I have no problem with it and I can understand the urge- babies are very tactile and 'sensual' (for want of a better word). They smell nice, they're soft and people want to get up close to them, it's only natural.

For those that are anti- what is it about it that you don't like? (Haven't read whole thread so sorry if it's already been said).

[mamadiva]

Olifin- I don't like it because I am a private person and don't like random strangers stopping me everytime I go out the door.

Although I am a weirdo and also hated the fact that people would start telling me that their cousins borthers neices uncles sister had eczema as a baby too and then ramble on about it for no reason what so ever. Was even worse when I used to take my ID twin sisters out! They are 8 months older than DS so I was heavily pg when I would take them out in pram and the looks I got were funny but the amount of people that would stop you for 10-20 minutes to tell you about their family tree and the twins in it was just a piss take!

Actually I am more against talking ain't I? hmm

[Olifin]

Oh dear!

I can identify with you in some ways as I can be VERY anti-social and also have huge issues about my own personal space (even as far as not wanting my own children to touch me sometimes )

Having said that, the older I get, the more I enjoy feeling like I'm part of a community and talking to strangers is part of that. Some of the most interesting conversations I've ever had have been with strangers on buses! I quite like hearing about others' families and hearing their histories; you can learn a lot from it, I've found!

Yes, it can be boring if someone wants to talk to you for ages but I try to remember that they're just being friendly and that, in all likelihood, they're lonely (especially older folk).

[mamadiva]

It does'nt bother me when I'm on buses or if I have time etc but when I am walking around a supermarket with a crying child or children as it is sometimes it does get rather irritating.

I agree that most of them are looking for someone to talk too but again I had a lot of groups of older people coming over to stare as thoug it was some sort of freak show.

[piscesmoon]

The reason that I didn't get the irony is that a lot of people feel like that and it is all my baby etc; very possessive IMO. They don't even like the extended family touching so they are hardly likely to appreciate a stranger taking an interest.
I am very surprised that you find Britain child friendly LadyAga-I didn't find it so in the days of pushing a double buggy around or trying to find a nice pub to have lunch.
It was quite different when having a meal in the rest of Europe.

[steviesgirl]

What's wrong with others touching your baby? Just because they are strangers? They are only fellow human beings taking an interest in your baby! She will be mixing with the human race from this day on, she is one herself remember. I agree the finger in the mouth is not on though! I would have something to say about that!!

But the rest of it YABU about - chill out.

[PlumpRumpSoggyBaps]

I must admit that I was never too keen on strangers touching my babies' hands, but only because of possible germs. That said, I loved that they paid my babies some attention, so just used to carry wipes and give their little hands a furtive swipe when the person had gone.

I was recently approached by a man who looked rather less than savoury- really rough, if I'm honest- but he asked so charmingly if he could 'chuck' ds on the cheek that I said yes. The look on both their faces was worth any momentary angst I might have felt.

However, touching my bump when I was pg- nope. No way. My body, gerroff.

[PlumpRumpSoggyBaps]

And, obviously, no fingers in babies' mouths. That's just yuk.

[discoball]

LadyAga - you talk a lot of sense!! A difference of opinion is all it is!

[FranSanDisco]

My dd 8 yo always holds babies/toddlers hands when she talks to them and they like it. Should she not do it as it offends?

[JustGetOnWithIt]

Babies don't have a sense of personal space! If they did, you'd have to get permission before 'invading' it to put a nappy on or carry them up to bed against their will!
Or feeding them? Can't you see other people's affection for its intent rather than assuming they are a biological threat?

[pulapula]

I don't mind people smiling, touching baby's hand/hair etc (I tend to be a smiler at kids i don't know but a hair ruffler of kids i do know), as i think its nice, unless i've just got them off to sleep through massive amounts of pushchair pushing, then anyone who does anything to disturb them would be in my bad books .

[plusonemore]

when ds2 was a few wks old i was in a charity shop, he was doing that tired-crying-i'm-almost-asleep kind of noises, the woman working in the shop asked if she could pick him up!

Um...NO!

[Momma23]

Have no issue with friends holding, touching my babys. A person i dont know can hold hand, but finger in the mouth no way!
I was at the doctors last week with DD 10 mons and this lady came over and started chatting and more or less trying to get a hold of DD. This ladie i think (personal opion) was not fully there and talk all about herself and how she was having fits and had to see the doctor! I kept a hold of DD and was not letting her go, but i felt annoyed by this.