to not want people to I don't know to touch my baby?

[supagirl]

WHY when I am out and about with my dd who is 1, do total starngers think it's ok to come up and touch her.

Yes, she's adorable, I am very proud of her and happy for you to come over and interact with her, but WHY do you have to touch her????

I am fed up with people grabbing her hands, touching her face, tickling her and one lady even put her finger in her mouth!!!! I don't know you, I don't know if you've washed your hands after using the loo or whatever and you are total strangers to my dd so PLEASE respect her personal space a little!

I have had this with all my LO's and have not yet figured out a way to stop it from happening. Now I am pg again and have people touching my bump AS WELL which I also don't like!

Does this bug other people or aibu?

SG

[LadyAga]

YANBU, I absolutely hate this.

I don't mind so much when people have stopped to chat and have shown a bit of rapport with you and the baby and they give a tentative little tickle on the tummy or the feet. But this is only when they are at least 6mths plus, I can't stand people touching newborns.

But when you get some freak plunging your hands into your pram it makes me want to punch them and I have grabbed people's hands and asked them not to touch when this has happened.

[MrsMotMot]

I'm with DrNorthener, this is a very British 'problem'! I think it's lovely and part of being in a community. Obviously I agree fingers in the mouth is a bit much mind you.

[piscesmoon]

Those of you who don't want people to touch your baby can't then moan that the British don't like children!! You can't have it that they like children on your terms.

[Nancy66]

I agree - very British and very unfriendly.
Adults are drawn towards children and it's a natural, nurturing instinct to want to touch their soft skin or their hair.

Can't see how anyone could be offended by that. It's an act of pure love and kindness.

[SugarBird]

I wouldn't be thrilled with the fingers in the mouth but otherwise I think it's lovely that people want to interact with babies and I always enjoyed people taking notice of my two when they were little (except when they were glaring due to loud squawking, unpleasant smells etc...)

[hongkongzoe]

DD was born in Asia and was regularly cuddled, chatted too and generally interacted with by people in the community and she loved it. It felt really nice that children were such a valued part of the community. I think she's really at ease with others as a result.
DS was born in this country and I feel sad that he hasn't had the same sociable introduction to this world as his sister.
No one has ever touched my bump without permission though.

[TheProvincialLady]

YANBU. Your children are your property and no one else gets to talk to them, touch them, comment on them or use the wrong voice with them.



(I do agree that fingers in mouths is grim)

[BlameItOnTheBogey]

YABU. I never get why this is a problem and am always delighted when random strangers on the tube start to play with DS. Brightens up his journey and takes the pressure off me. I nearly kissed the girl tonight who bent down and started playing with his hands when he was howling and wouldn't be distracted from his misery by my (bad) singing. He immediately perked up at the new interaction. I think it is great and will encourage him to be sociable.

[random]

I cant resist stroking babies hair and cheeks ...seems sad to me anyone would object

[nickytwotimes]

Yanbu.
Chatting, smiling, playing is lovely.
I hated strangers touching ds when he was wee.

Must say though that they don't come near him now he is a snotty toddler.

I do not pet other people's kids unless they are friends.

[TinyPawz]

YANBU....i hate this too....so much so I have actually started to tell old bints ladies to leave her be....very loudly on occasion.

[Noonki]

YABU - (Apart from the in the mouth business) I think it's really sad you feel like this.

[Nighbynight]

YABU, sorry! Its part of living in a community, and your baby is learning valuable lessons about how other people think she's wonderful. I feel very sorry for babies that dont get passed around and cooed over.

[blinder]

YANBU - a baby cant reject physical touch by herself. People think that it's ok to touch children in in ways that they wouldn't dream of touching an adult.

I would never just go and touch a baby, unless I was holding /feeding her for the mum, or had a familiar relationship with the child. Babies should have just the same rights as adults.

It's go nothing to do with living in a community. I'm very touchy-feely but only with people who have given me permission to do so. All babies are not everyone's possession!

[piscesmoon]

'Your children are your property and no one else gets to talk to them, touch them, comment on them or use the wrong voice with them.'

Property!!! How can a person be property of someone else?!
I talk to children, comment on them and probably use the 'wrong' voice, whatever that is.

[abraid]

Twas ironic!

[piscesmoon]

I read it several times-sorry if it was ironic-I'm not too good at reading little faces. However many people actually think that way!!

[piscesmoon]

I see it was-passed over me! Sorry ProvincialLady.

[Wigglesworth]

YANBU having folk shoving their dirty fingers into your babies gob is just awful. I would bollock my own Mum if she did that to my DS let alone a stranger.
I don't mind people interacting with my DS but fingers in mouths, especially when they could have just been for a shite and not washed their hands, is nasty. EWWWWW!!!

[plonker]

Fingers in mouth - ewwwwwwwwww

I apologise now for being a hand-stroker. I always stroke babies' hands ...it didn't cross my mind for a minute that people would like it.

Maybe I should think more ...

[discoball]

OrmIrian/Piscesmoon,

As Supagirl said, she doesn't mind people being friendly etc. - you can interact with a baby without touching it and no, bumps aren't the same as babies, but a baby can hardly make up its own mind, can it?!!! And not wanting people to touch your baby is hardly the same as equating this to people not liking children - lots of people smile/interact with children but would respect a mother/baby's personal space. Sorry,. not budging on this one. You have your views, I have mine - I'm not saying yours is wrong, but we do have freedom of choice!!! Where are you Supagirl?!

[TheProvincialLady]

Pisces I should never do irony on MN, I always offend someone

[disillusionedmum]

Look it's a cultural thing for some people. In some cultures it is absolutely inacceptable if someone DOES NOT show some form of physical appreciataion of your child.ignoring a child's presence is almost rude and unsociable in many societies. hence,it is practicaly unusual for there to be a baby in the midst without touching it or kissing it. I have worked with many Western Europeans in a non European society and I used to feel like laughing my head off seeing the horror on the faces of those Europeans when the indigenous people would touch, kiss or even hug their children!!!

[Nekabu]

And then everyone complains about how child unfriendly people in the UK are ...

Fingers in mouth, no. Touching and talking to, I don't see the problem. If you want these same people to tolerate your child when it is older and being a royal PITA then let them interact with it when it is at the cute stage and they want to.