To think encouraging kids to "drink" at christmas is a bit stupid?

[jesusofutopia]

My friend told me yesterday she is intending to allow her 8 and 10 year old a bottle of lager each on christmas day she said she intends to make the bottles last all day by watering them down with lemonade to make weak shandys but even so, aibu to think this is bloody stupid?

[BreevandercampLGJ]

My DS (7) is the proud owner of a wine glass, it less than an inch high.

On special occassions,he gets a dot of wine, and a lot of water,(well as much water as you can get in that small a glass) We always provide a normal size glass of water or juice. Invariably the "wine" gets forgotten about and the water/juice is drunk.

Good balance IMO.

But providing alcohol and making the child feel on a level footing for more than a few minutes is a disaster waiting to happen. IYKWIM

[noonki]

In DH grew up in italy and would always get watered down wine with a meal from aged 4.

Normal over there, and imo they have a much healthier attitude to alcohol than the UK.

But just giving it at xmas sends a message that it is a really big deal whereas little now and again takes away the mystique.

[BodenGroupie]

Mine have been allowed wine (at their request) with Sunday lunch since they were around 8ish but only a very small glass. Wouldn't ever have given them alcohol outside mealtimes (I know how pissed I feel if I drink even a small amount on an empty stomach). Most of the time the youngest, nearly 12, doesn't ask and will turn it down if offered. The 15 year old likes it but knows the rules about drinking outside the home, ie no spirits or anything spirit based, like WKD or Bacardi Breezers. She's also supposed to tell me if she's going somewhere where drink will be available and I believe she's honest with me - bit shocked that alcohol is everywhere - scout camp and seems to be required amongst some kids for a good night out.

[mumeeee]

My children have all been allowed a small taste of wine on special occasions from about 10 years old.

[tiredsville]

Hell will freeze over before I give my 8 year old a can of larger with their meal.

[ravenAK]

I wouldn't 'allocate' a bottle each.

If I were drinking beer myself, and had an 8 year old dc asking for some, I'd put a splash in a glass & fill up with lemonade - same with wine.

Avoiding 'forbidden fruit' syndrome v different from almost expecting them to drink a bottle each...

[claireyBANG]

I wouldn't give them a bottle each but would let them have sips or a small amount in a glass if they asked. Although even that can be risky...last Christmas dd had a sip of champagne from dh's glass then pestered my mum, dad, sister and BIL for a sip. I wouldn't let her have a sip of mine cos thought 5 sips was actually quite a lot for a 19 month old, she then went behind me while I was bf ds and downed half of mine .

[claireyBANG]

And I now see that it was illegal to let her have even a sip, whoops.

[44christmaspuddingsinarow]

I really don't like the taste of larger, never really have - much prefer dry martini and lemonade. My dd of 10 has alwys liked the taste of red wine, she has had a few sips - dont like red wine either - much prefer white.

If you are going to drink at home then you are setting an example, if you dont think dc should have drink or smoke then don't do it yourself.

[InNeedOfSleep]

I don't think getting your kids to try smoking is particularly sensible but not as horrific an idea as some people seem to think here...my family regarded smoking in the same vein as alcohol (of the devil) hence my interest in both from a young age and I became a smoker from the age of 15. Happy to report I no longer smoke but not sure what the best approach is; to be completely anti- I would say, will only bring on those rebellious behaviours but actively encouraging doesn'[t seem right either. I would make sure they know about the health risks and bang on about fitness and wrinkles since these would be more concerns of young people than disease (you're infallible when you're young, right?) Personally would be devastated if my DS smokes when she's older but her Dad does so she's statistically more like;y to...

[pingping]

Ummm Shandy you can buy in cans at any age I am sure it won't hurt them. YABU

[44christmaspuddingsinarow]

It is illegal under the age of 5 years - over the age of 5 is legal at home.

[InNeedOfSleep]

oops mean dd, don't have a ds!

[BarbieLovesKen]

I think its completely outrageous to give a 2, 3, 4 5 year old alcohol!! ffs!!

[mosschops30]

We allow dd (12) a small glass of wine on special occaisions, (she had one glass of rose at a big holiday dinner, plus will have a glass of bucks fizz xmas day).
I dont see the problem, she is asked as part of the family but sometimes doesnt want a glass and thats fine, i think its healthy to teach children that drinking in moderation for special occaisions is ok and accptable.

[OrmIrian]

My eldest will have a tiny glass of champagne at christmas.

[earlyriser]

Thing is we were allowed weak alcoholicdrinks from a youngish age (pre teen?) like martini and lemonade (must be lots of mn brought up on the 70s!) or a snowball. Just gave me a taste for it though and i was still necking bottles of cider (or vermouth and sprite) in the park as a teenager. So it doesn't necessarily instill restraint when the drinks given are sweet and yummy!

[ManIFeelLikeAWoman]

Throughout my childhood, I was allowed alcoholic drinks on special and social occasions.

I am now a recovering alcoholic.

I do NOT think those early social drinks "made" me an alcoholic. But, by the same token, nor did they prevent me from becoming one.

In other words, I can't see any problem with giving a child alcohol. However, nor can I see much point to it, as the most common reason - it'll remove the mystery - is obviously far from fail-safe.

PS AA meetings on the Continent are, equally, full of people brought up with "Continental" attitudes to alcohol too.

[disneystar]

absloutely no way would i give my children a drink even my 17 year old isnt allowed my 20 yr old doesnt either
i have one of 8 7 4 and 5mths as well
i dont drink neither does my dh
whats the big deal with alcohol its not taboo here just not needed or liked
we have alcohol free wine for special occasions and yes they share this
i have read that some parents give them it watered down
WHY?
its not needed
i have 7 dc 3 drinking age 4 younger
oldest does drink and makes a total pratt of herself shes 23 only when she goes out
the rest do not
i sometimes think my dc are to grown up i was driving somewhere with my 7 yr old and we passed a group of drunk/tipsy teenagers he came out with hey mom look at those how pathetic is that
what can i answer to that

[disneystar]

44christmaspuddings good answer if you dont want your dc to drink or smoke dont do it at home
exactly my dh and i do neither and would not allow our dc to do it either

[bellavita]

Being from an italian background, my brother and I were always allowed a drink on family occasions, I do not think it is a bad thing, we have turned out ok.

If my boys (11 and 9) ask if they can have a sip of what we are having I let them try. In fact I had a glass of rose on Saturday night and DS1 asked if he could try it - he took a sip and said euurghhh that was disgusting mum.

[nooka]

Sounds an odd idea to me. The children would probably prefer lemonade in any case, and a bottle each I think is way too much (also is the watering secret? that sounds very risky to me, as the children may think they are drinking a lot, and help themselves in the future with bad consequences).

I offer my children a sip if we are drinking wine, and make sure they are having something nice to drink too. It used to annoy me as a child when my parents had wine and we had water - felt very unfair. On special occasions I buy something special for the kids, usually fizzy, like non alcoholic bucks fizz. So far, as 8 and 9, they much prefer their special drinks to ours, although ds does claim to like red wine (this may be entirely presence though).

When they are a few years older (probably past 12) then I will probably offer them cider as their special drink.

[Gracie123]

There is a reason that we have legal drinking ages. The fact that you feel 'tipsy' or even drunk is your bodies response to a POISON.
A child's liver is not capable of processing these as well as ours are, and giving your child alcohol under the age of 21 significantly increases the amount of liver damage incurred.
That fact that our kids all go on benders at 18 is unfortunately unavoidable culturally in this country, but as a parent I certainly wouldn't encourage it.
My FiL tried to give my 3 month old exclusively breastfed baby guinness at a family dinner. Needles to say DH gave him a roasting. Good thing he didn't tell me until a LOT later or FiL may not have been allowed to see much of DS....

[23balloons]

I am amazed at the responses on this thread. My 6 & 8 year old have never even tasted lemonade or coke let alone beer. their favourite drinks are milk & water. Ribena is a treat!

[TheLadyEvenstar]

"That fact that our kids all go on benders at 18 is unfortunately unavoidable culturally in this country, but as a parent I certainly wouldn't encourage it."

Errrr i never went on a bender and never have done.... I have been to all nighters and had very little to drink. I was allowed alcohol at a young age and I never had the urge to drink massivly as I grew up.