Not to want to child-proof my home

[GodzillasBumcheek]

...because my relatives are visiting and their kids can't keep off my ornaments/bookshelf/electricals etc?

Why do they think i want them to visit if i am going to be constantly rescuing my things from their child? Shouldn't they be doing the running around (at least some of the time), or have taught them by 18 months not to grab everything in sight; and by three years, shouldn't they know NOT to bash electronic equipent on the floor/throw items towards the telly?

[HonoriaGlossop]

[HonoriaGlossop]

because it was written by a young child

(arguably)

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Venetian blinds are my nemesis !!!!

[justbeingpatronising]

I would have thought that the publishing company would have sorted it out.

[theyoungvisiter]

because it was written by an 8 year-old and was published with the original spelling (more or less) intact.

It's hilarious - one of those books everyone should read, especially if you were ever an 8-year-old girl.

ahem, apols for the hijack...

[theyoungvisiter]

(just had to do a hasty google to check I had spelled Venetian correctly!)

Why isn't it Venician anyway? Would make a lot more sense. Tcha.

[wotulookinat]

Now you've got me intregued and I'll have to go and read the book!

[HonoriaGlossop]

you must read it, it is brilliant - her spellings etc are mostly really good but some are funny

and her idea of social interaction in late victorian times is just hysterical

also sorry for hijack

[theyoungvisiter]

If you don't want to fork out for the book, here is an online text (it's out of copyright as it's so old)

www.stonesoup.com/writing-by-children/young-visiters/contents-preface/

Skip over the pukesome preface by JM Barrie and go straight to chapter 1.

However IMO, Posy Simmond's illustrations are worth the price alone so I have the version I linked to on Amazon.

[wotulookinat]

brilliant, thanks Glad I butted in now!

[nooka]

It doesn't sound as if you want them to visit to be honest. You will all have a nicer time if you remove the things that it sounds like you already know will be a problem. My ILs are like this. We now visit once (possibly twice) a year, and stay in their house for the minimum time possible. It is very stressful both for us, and for our children. Sadly my children now do not know their grandfather very well. My parents on the other hand have a few no go areas, which the children respect (easy enough to make sure they don't go into one or two rooms) and a few untouchables, again easy to watch one or two things. If your relatives have a 18mth old and a three year old they will be run ragged in any case, and expecting them to be constantly on their guard for all your breakables is unreasonable. You may have a placid "trainable" child (never met one myself) but not all kids come like that, and not all parents want to stop their children exploring their environment.

But hey, if you want to be stressed, and you want them to be stressed, and you want their children to be stressed, then go ahead and leave everything available for destruction! Alternatively meet up with them in a park.

[penguinaballerina]

Buy a few toys for them to play with suitable for their age group. That should make them feel welcome and keep them away from your precious belongings. Then they can play with the same toys the next time they come to visit, or if you have any other young children round. If you're trying to stop them doing something it's much easier (and nicer) to say "Look, here's a teddy" rather than "Stop that".

If you are worried about the cost, toys are dirt cheap in charity shops, you just need to wash them first, dirt cheap is the operative word ...

[KnickersOnMaHead]

Message withdrawn

[FAQ]

would just like to add that PS2's (even the slimline ones) are actually remarkably strong - they even continue to work with 14 month old toddler stood on TOP of it while i'ts being used

[GodzillasBumcheek]

How many times do i have to repeat...

I HAVE GOT AN 19 MONTH OLD MYSELF. there are several relevant age items around. The 18 month old and 3 year old are from different households and visit seperately, so they aren't there at the same time. My 19 month old manages to visit various people and places without causing havoc. She is still very inquisitive, and was actually harder to train than my DTDs.

I can't remove all the things they would find hazardous as this would mean emptying my entire bookshelf. And we have actually got nowhere to put a stairgate.

VVVQV - 18 month old was more interested in trying to remove anything within reach from shelves/table/fireplace than with any toys/books i could possibly find.

As for not inviting these particular relatives round, actually i didn't. I asked if i could visit at the place they were staying, but even though i asked well in advance it was only to discover on the actual day that she would be leaving before the time i had asked to visit, and she decided shw was going to visit me instead.

I usually go to the park with the 3 year old relative and his mum, which entirely removes the problem!

[GodzillasBumcheek]

Slight x-post.

But i repeat - they are not remotely interested in toys.

[beanieb]

OK - so how do you deal with it? Can you talk to your friends about it without upsetting anyone? I totally get what you are saying but I think that people are either going to get it or think you are the worst friend ever - I don't think that BTW. You just need to find a way to say something, or compromise somehow.

[spicemonster]

As other people have said, some toddlers are more inquisitive than others. Mine pulls the books off the bookshelves if he can. I just pull him off and play with him. But that does mean I'm not able to have adult conversations

[geordieminx]

Why dont you just tell the parents in question that you would rather they didnt vist you as you are sick to death of having to move your ornaments/belongings to prevent their snotty nosed kids from wrecking them?

There - job done, problem solved. You can sit in your beautiful home, with your impeccibly behaved child without having to worry.

[elmoandella]

not read it all,

when i go to my friends house i always watch kids like a hawk.

i would be mortified if they broke anything.

i have a friend whose children break my kids toys never mind the ornaments.

i get a bit peaved when she lets them jump on my couch? i dont allow my kids to do it in her house (and neither does she) but she lets them do it in mine

needless to say i now go to hers and dont invite her to mine anymore

[elmoandella]

oh and if i go somewhere that there isn't kids i take a toy for mine to play with.

[GodzillasBumcheek]

That's what i was wondering...(they are relatives - sister and adult neice), but how can i put nicely "i would rather meet you somewhere else because your son wrecks my stuff and we can never talk when you are visiting because i am having to constantly remove things from your toddler's destructive clutches"?

[Bumperlicious]

YABU in expecting too much from a child, and (implicitly) blaming your relative's parenting and being smug about your own, when as many posters have attested to, parenting or 'training' doesn't account for much.

However you ANBU if said relative does not a least try and temper the behaviour and/or tidy up afterward.

We have semi baby proofed (moved DH's precious flat screen TV back out of reach, gate over kitchen doorway, blind cords out of reach). But this is really so that I can let DD (13months) have free range without me having to follow her around. In other ways we don't baby proof but just put up with the carnage, she loves getting at the magazines and papers, and the recycling basket. No harm done, just a job to tidy.

I do find it stressful going to other people's houses and having to keep a constant watch on DD. She is only 13months, not quite reasonable but walking with a vengeance. It's just nice when people are quite relaxed about their stuff and anything they aren't relaxed about move out of the way. Happier for everyone really.

[GodzillasBumcheek]

How the hell do you move a telly out of the way?

[spicemonster]

Why don't you just suggest meeting for a picnic in the park? If the weather isn't very nice, we've found Wetherspoons quite pleasant and cheap for a kids meal (although my DS does try to destroy stuff he's happier making friends with random drunks )