Not to want to child-proof my home

[GodzillasBumcheek]

...because my relatives are visiting and their kids can't keep off my ornaments/bookshelf/electricals etc?

Why do they think i want them to visit if i am going to be constantly rescuing my things from their child? Shouldn't they be doing the running around (at least some of the time), or have taught them by 18 months not to grab everything in sight; and by three years, shouldn't they know NOT to bash electronic equipent on the floor/throw items towards the telly?

[DaDaDa]

Depends whether you want people visiting to be constantly on edge or not I suppose? Or perhaps you just enjoy the drama as their toddler careers towards your steaming mug of tea?

Personally I'd just move the Sylvanian Families to a safe height so everyone can relax a little, or not have them to visit.

[TeeBee]

Okay, this is what I did when my kids were smaller. I'd warn my family what things they are likely to want to explore. Then just told my family, if you see them messing with anything that you don't want them to play with, just tell them. Hence, they took responsibility for moving stuff they didn't want fiddled with. My children are their family too, we are collectively responsible for bringing up our family. Mind you, I only say that because my family are totally in love with my children and treat them with respect - hence my kids do the same to them and their things. My sisters and my mum are totally allowed to explain what is allowed and not allowed to my kids.

Of course, if my children were being openly disrespctful of people's stuff - trying to trash it, I would intervene immediately. But, to be honest, playing with my nan's ornaments was one of the best memories of my childhood. We always checked with her first if we were able to play with them. There was no issue.

You can't expect children not to explore their environment - its what makes them bright and curious. If you don't want this in your house, change your arrangements or just move the stuff!

[lou031205]

Well, my DD1 is extremely inquisitive. She didn't walk until nearly 23 months, but could climb like a mountaineer. My friends have a set of stairs that come directly into the lounge. We kept a travel stairgate at their house behind their sofa, so that we could screen off the stairs.

TBH, it is still a nightmare going anywhere enclosed with DD1, but she is just a very inquisitive child, and that will do her well for the future.

[GodzillasBumcheek]

OK then, so i should by some peoples standards, remove the television, DVD player, games console, remotes, entire tall bookcase full of books/DVDs, etc, not offer guests a drink AT ALL, and maybe remove the glass partitioning doors in case the lad slams them so hard next time that the glass smashes?

Now obviously i can remove low height ornaments and piles of paper/magazines, but really, honestly, the whole bookcase?

And no, i do not believe she would clean up in the slightest afterwards, as she showed no inclination to do so after she'd visited another relative.

Pointydog - no, i don't have friends that come round with their toddlers, thanks, what makes you think i must automatically know lots of people with toddlers?

[PeachyBAHons]

My best mate had the same attitude as the OP (which is an attitde she in entitked to in her own home)

my ds was untrainable (found out years later due to asd)

I say best mate, it just got too stressful for both of us, after 10 yeas friendship havent seen or spoken to her in what, 5 years?

We did move away in that time but equally she's his godmother and doesnt send cards or return letters

so what Aat length i mean is

its your own home so yanbu but do remember that she might find it really stressful, visiting you may seem less atractive which can be the deathknell for visitors

[PeachyBAHons]

'and maybe remove the glass partitioning doors in case the lad slams them so hard next time that the glass smashes?
'

isn't it supposed to be safety glass anyway?

[GodzillasBumcheek]

I don't know - it's a rented house, so i am unsure what glass is in them, but we leave them open so they won't get run into. It was a concern when all 3 DDs were younger.

[PeachyBAHons]

if its rented it has to be safety- our landlady had to rep[lace all ours to comply with some regs

[Fennel]

I don't expect people to childproof their homes for my children. But in the end, we only visit child-friendly homes as it's too stressful otherwise. So it depends if you actually want people with toddlers to feel comfortable or not.

Mine were never particularly wild toddlers. but still some houses were far too nice for them. Especialy those with little breakable ornaments temptingly placed around the fireplace.

[GodzillasBumcheek]

The thing with getting anything done in rented property is that it all has to be done 'within a reasonable time after the problem has been reported to the landlord' but there is no set limit to what time this is, so it could be left for months or even years, the landlord is within their rights to just keep saying 'yes i will do it when i can', and never do it. We know because we enquired about having our windows replaced a few years back.

[PeachyBAHons]

Ah, our leasing agents refused to take the property on without the windows being done
but our landlady is marvellous I have to say, we're ulcky

[GodzillasBumcheek]

You are lucky! Alot of the rented properties here don't have double glazing - which i thought was a legal requirement now. But that's another thread eh?

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Use your noddle! You dont have to remove the tv or dvd, just the potential missiles that could be thrown at them (remote controls, coasters, ornaments etc). Pot plants could be removed to a different spot for a couple of days. It really has been a long time since you've had small children around you hasnt it?

[GodzillasBumcheek]

Er...toys and books are quite hard...

[KnickersOnMaHead]

Message withdrawn

[HonoriaGlossop]

doesn't sound like you want them to come. Why are they coming?

If you're inviting them it's unfair on everyone not to child-proof a little. I think most reasonable people would go round and move things that were dangerous/easily breakable/precious.

I remember visits to the in-laws when ds was toddling as really stressful - if no effort has been made at ALL, and you spend ALL your time hovering and taking things out of the child's hands, and you don't feel you can even put the child down on the floor, it's hardly welcoming. I think basic politeness would suggest some child-proofing be done.

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

quite hard?

Well, yeah. But presumably the toys and books will be entertaining them somewhat?

And if they are being used as missiles, then, they'll get put out of sight too?

[ratbunny]

I went round a relatives yesterday, and she hadnt childproofed her home. ds (18mo) is pretty good - he will push his luck a bit, but can easily be distracted. He is easygoing and well behaved, and doesnt throw things at the tv. I also took toys, books, cars etc.
He went for some pretty vases a couple of times, and I told him 'no' and he carried on, and I removed him from them. And this was pretty much how the day wnet for me.
The most annoying thing was the boiling hot coffee placed on the table in front of him, which I scalded myself on when he lunged at it.
I must say, I was glad to leave...
So, if you want your friend to relax with you then YABU - even a well behaved toddler will want to check out new sparkly things.
But if you are happy for her to be relieved to get out of your place, then go ahead, leave everything small and valuable lying about.

[wotulookinat]

I agree with Knickers. You know they have a toddler. You don't want to toddler-proof the place, so don't have them over.

[theyoungvisiter]

I agree totally with VVVQV - particularly about children gettign blind to the things in their own environment.

We have not child-proofed a jot with DS - but we went round a friend's house a few months ago (she also has a baby the same age). Within 2 minutes he had opened the oven. Within 5 more he had wrapped the cord of the venetian blind around his neck and gone very pink. Then he fell over and banged his head on their glass coffee table.

He is not like this at home - and my friend's DS negotiates all those hazards perfectly safely.

The point is they will explore and test a strange environment more than their own home - and because you don't know whta the hazards are or where the precious objects are, you can't police them as effectively as in a familiar environment.

[wotulookinat]

visitOr

[theyoungvisiter]

thanks for the tip! I do know how to spell btw - it's a book

[HonoriaGlossop]

WHATulookinat

[wotulookinat]

actually, What are you looking at?

[justbeingpatronising]

Why does the book have a spelling error?