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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daddy's little princes syndrome

56 replies

lucyellensmum · 14/07/2008 14:10

Honestly, he is besotted...........totally infatuatied with her!!! I would be sweet if it wasn't turning her into a spoilt brat!!

Does anyone else have this??

Don't get me wrong, im not complaining he is lovely with her, but he is spoiling her

OP posts:
tori32 · 15/07/2008 13:25
tori32 · 15/07/2008 13:28

lucyellensmum could you perhaps show him the thread? He might then realise how annoyed you are about it and read the responses. This might make him realise that it is not on?

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 15/07/2008 15:25

I tried to talk to him this morning - we had to visit DDs prospective playschool and we went for a coffee earlier. I thought, right, nows my moment (he was knackered last night) but its a brick wall, i got "i can't change the way i am" - well, what can you say to that really. I told him that he is doing her no favours whatsoever but it all floats over his head. Maybe he is right, maybe i dig my heals in when i should just let it go, and sometimes i find myself doing this because of the way he is. But sod it - all day yesterday she was whine whine whine whine whine - this morning at the playschool, was clingy, im not talking to you mrs teacher, im going to cling to my daddies legs, whine whine whine all the way until Daddy brought her a cake!

Daddy has gone to work now THANK GOD and i have my sweet little girl back - what does that tell you!!! grrrr

OP posts:
Original poster
lucyellensmum · 15/07/2008 15:26

my heals??? this computor is ruining my ability to spell

OP posts:
NiceShoes · 15/07/2008 15:31

out of interest do you and DH get on/agree about anything?you post many AIBU about him

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 15/07/2008 15:33

yeah right nice shoes, maybe i should leave him We get on loads actually, so long as i keep the BJs coming and anyway - look at my face, I ain't bovvered!!!

OP posts:
NiceShoes · 15/07/2008 15:36

touched a raw nerveyou do post about him a lot-all yeah but no but nuffink

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 15/07/2008 15:38

what IS your problem?? grow up luv

OP posts:
NiceShoes · 15/07/2008 15:42

just an observation of many AIBU you post, so maybe your problem that you air on MN

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 15/07/2008 15:45

and YOU have a problem with this BECAUSE??

OP posts:
Shitemum · 15/07/2008 15:53

I dont know anything about anxiety disorder but if there are many things that DP is 'not allowed' to do with DD, just the two of them, then this is not going to get any easier for any of you.

I second everyone who says he needs to spend a whole day or two with her and then he'll see that being kind but firm is much more effective in the short and long term than giving in to her every whim and spoiling her.

IME the daddy often behaves like this because it gets nice, quick results and he thinks treating kids all the time is a good thing. The parent that spends more time with the DC knows otherwise but is accused of being mean if they try to explain what is wrong with the daddy's 'system'.

Shitemum · 15/07/2008 15:54

(What I meant by the first line in my previous post is that you need to hand over some real responsibility to your DP).

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 15/07/2008 15:55

no shitemum, thats the only thing oh, apart from take her on an airplane!!!

We are going on holiday soon - and im just going to take a back seat, let him deal with her when she is full of sugar i'll be in the spa pool!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
lucyellensmum · 15/07/2008 16:01

but that means delegating shitemum .

That is a good point though, she does spend SOME time alone with him but not much. That is because when we have time we do like to spend it together (some people have called this joined at the hip syndrome ). I mean, i could let him take her swimming, but I want to go too (spoilt brat).

I've decided to let it go, my Dad spoilt me and i didn't turn out to be a spoilt adult .

I did have to tell DP off though today as we were in the play park and a little boy went to "help" DD down the slide and DP was there with his deep voice, "don't push her" bless him, he REALLY doesn't get it does he - The little lad was honestly trying to help DD, yes, there was a million to one chance she might fall but from EXPERIENCE i could see it was OK. It was NOT ok to tell the little boy off. Thankfully it went over his head, but i had images of an irate mother coming and clumping DP with her bottle cooler bag.

Its sweet really - can you love a child too much do you think?

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ScottishMummy · 15/07/2008 18:43

LEM LOL my fave AIBU you posted was my DH is sexist wont let me lay floor. priceless

i am not lily livered but i have no problemo with "sexist" man who does not want me to participate in building/laying floors/climbing ladders

Shitemum · 15/07/2008 20:48

LEM - you can't love a child too much but you sure as hell can spoil them too much.

Scottishmummy - all the powertools in this house were bought by me, they are MINE all MINE Poor DP hardly gets to knock a nail in without me supervising...

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 16/07/2008 11:49

SM i have had egg on my face before - i have often said, oh, i can help/do that, only to have to get DP to help me lift something or get me down from a ladder cos im STUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKK

OP posts:
ilovemydog · 16/07/2008 11:56

DP treats DD like a princess too.

Do you also get the 'home from work, get pushed aside in the stampede to see DD?'

Quite sweet though. When she hears that door it's, 'DAAAAADDDDDYYYY!!!!!!!!!!'

And when it's 3am, she feels sick/ill, it's,. 'MUUUUUMMMMMYYYY!!!'

Sim43 · 16/07/2008 12:06

I'm still waiting for Niceshoes to reply. The gloves are off!!

ScottishMummy · 16/07/2008 12:10

when dad gets home it's "dadeeeeeeeee" and it is sweet.anything like health/cuts/nappy mumeeeeeeeeee

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 16/07/2008 12:10

Sim, me too - was LIVID the other day, will you hold my coat?

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CoteDAzur · 16/07/2008 12:24

My DH is worse. Goes to her in the morning, and because she refuses to get out of bed, or is slightly unpleasant, gives her a lollipop. Or a bag of peanut M&Ms.

I had so many conversations with him about this, and nothing has changed.If anyone finds an angle that works, do share.

peacelily · 16/07/2008 12:26

LEM, I have this exact same problem, a few months ago after some blazing rows we sat down and I explained with the backing of some well written parenting theory why he was spoiling her and the damage it could do.

I was having visions of a Vicky Pollardesque 15 year old screaming for a lift etc. in a few years time (dd is 22m). With a LOT of perseverance dh is now a lot firmer. He still panders to her too much IMO but we have made headway.

I don't get a look in when he's around they are like the mutual adoration society which sometimes makes me but I'm learning to live with it.

Re; your previous post about having an anxiety disorder and the car I'm not trying to lecture but anxious Mums (I can be one too) create anxious children and I'm sure that's the last thing you want. It really might be helpful for the whole family to let her go in the car just with him, you could try a graduated exposure approach if "flooding" seems a bit traumatic!

Sim43 · 16/07/2008 21:44

Lusyellensmum: Yeh I saw that one the other day too, I though Oh hello whats going on here then, bit of argy bargy going on. She seems to have a problem with you.

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 17/07/2008 09:28

yeah well, her problem - i aint bovvered She is the only annoying person i have come across on MN so that can't be bad going can it. You know what they say, there's always one.

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