cheeky to ask my mum about her dress sense?

[ScullyD]

My mum has always had a decent dress sense. She’s early 60s now and has always worn different colourful outfits etc.

except for the last x6 months or so she wears the same oversized shirt and black stretchy pull on trousers every time I see her. She also suggested I get a pair too ‘because they’re so comfy’! This is what my gran started doing aged circa 80.

every time I see her in photos with friends she’s in the same bloody outfit while her friends look stylish. She’s a 14-16 and feeling a bit overweight but she was always stylish regardless.

should I say anything or not? I don’t want to hurt her feelings but she looks like she’s given up and she’s a good looking woman too.

My mum always wears the same thing and its dementia for her. Hopefully not in your case as your mum is so young.

Are the clothes clean? Is she clean?

If the answer to both is yes then I’d leave it.

Would say so yes. Still showering etc as normal.

We spend such a lot of our lives trying to please others and following protocol. There does come a point where you think you just want to be comfortable - to be you.
Leave her be. She's experiencing freedom!

I’m in my early 6os. I certainly wouldn’t wear uncomfortable clothes or shoes because they looked better these days. But I still love shopping and making an effort to be nicely dressed. So do friends the same age - even if they are not that interested in “ fashion”
Are there any other changes in your mum. Is she looking after her hair/ nails/ personal hygiene. Is she keeping her house clean to her usual standards. Has her personality changed - for eg - has she been more outspoken/ less tactful than usual.
If it’s just the clothes and she is completely her usual self in other ways then there’s maybe not much you can do. If there are other changes it’s more worrying . Dementia doesn’t always start with only memory problems

It’s one thing to be comfy on the house in trackies etc but if she’s going out with her mates, whilst she doesn’t want to be uncomfortable it’s nicer if she’s smart like her friends.

Maybe she’s lost her way with style, take her out shopping and offer some ideas.

Any other changes? It could be depression based.

Or it could be she doesn’t have any money for any new clothes. I cleared most of my wardrobe out last year as it was negatively effecting my MH. Much easier now. But I can’t afford to replace things very often. Your mum may be the same.

What's wrong with a woman choosing comfort over style?
You absolutely should not say anything, she can wear whatever she likes and should be free from judgement from others, most of all her own daughter.

If you have a close relationship and discuss clothes and fashion then I’d say it’s a bit odd not to mention it. Not to scaremonger but I remember looking after a lady with a huge tumour on her breast that she’d been hiding under lose clothes because she was afraid to get help. I’m quite sure that’s not the issue here but something has changed so have a chat.

If she suddenly just loves those clothes then fine.

I suspect once I retire I will just wear comfy clothes and have a reduced wardrobe. This is one of the benefits of age and not needing to be stylish and fashionable unless you really can be bothered. I will be leggings and hand knits most of the time.

Maybe she finally appreciates comfort.
Let her embrace it. Get her some more clothes, more bright and cheerful but same level of comfort for her b'day if that bothered!