AIBU to rip out a beautiful garden in potential house?

[Mum2HC]

Looking at new house - only one we like. Owner is an older couple who have spent years creating a garden worthy of an National Trust property!! The issue is we do not enjoy gardening and do not want to have to pay a gardener to keep all the flowers in check. Would it be awful to take out half the gardens flowers and replace with grass? It is 0.8 acre so a very big garden and our children would much prefer all turf to play football etc. It would feel almost criminal to do it but we don't want the upkeep - they also have a large rose garden which we would rather take out and have a vegetable garden. Is this all just too much?! It is the only house we like in our ideal location. It must be a full time job to look after it!!

If you can't afford the gardens you can't afford the house. Everything needs maintenance.

I have a large garden. Honestly, if it's planted with perennials, looking after that can be much easier than lawn. Lawn needs to be wateted, mowed etc. The right mature beds just need a bit of pruning and mulch.

No I personally think it’s horrendous and it will turn your neighbours against you. I’ve watched the destruction around us of stunning trees and gardens and it devalues the whole neighbourhood. It’s a plague quite honestly. People ripping out gardens to park 5 cars.

Buy a brand new house. One of those bland grey things and you’ll probably be very happy. Why be so destructive?

In a nature crisis, where wildlife depends on every scrap of nature left, it really would be almost criminal! People who buy beautiful homes and then rip out historic features and established gardens are just... what kind of person destroys beauty? Dont think this is the right house for you.

No but it would be sad to remove so much beautiful habitat. Also if you don’t like gardening why would you have a vegetable garden? It’s more work than the flowers!

Your title sounds kind of clickbaitey and your logic is confusing, but I'll reply with genuine advice because it might be useful to someone!

So you say you don't enjoy gardening and won't pay a gardener - so...
who is going to dig out the rose beds and prepare and plant a veg garden and water it everyday - or set up a watering system for it and then harvest it?

Who is going to dig and level beds and prepare for turf and then water and care for that turf as it is established? Is there space to store a bigger lawnmower for the larger grass area?

Who is going to compost all the grass clippings/excess veg/?

You? Or the gardener you won't pay? If the former, you obviously have the knowledge to look after an already established (and therefore easier) garden. If the latter, you could portion out the lump sum needed for the big jobs and afford to pay a smaller amount for a gardener once a week - for the first year at least.

Easier to weed a bed or prune roses - little equipment needed. If the beds are well established, they won't need watering.

Best bet is to look at how many hedges there are. These can't easily be removed and are labour-intensive.

Also remember you could get a gardener in 2-3 times a year to do a major prune and lawn feed and advise on planting- you don’t have to have a gardener every week. No one I know has one through the winter at all. It doesn’t need to be a major expense.

If you buy it don’t just rip them out give them away to neighbours or old owners.

I have spent years making my garden look lovely I’m taking all my trees and my roses with me when we move next year.

A veg patch but hate gardening😅
Believe me, a decent sized veg patch, I had an allotment [ at least 50ft] is far more time consuming to look after. Weeding, watering, [too much you drown the roots, too little plants won't thrive], pest control [I used organic methods], thining out plants, replanting crop rotation, companion planiting to deter pests.
It all takes time, with the garden alone, it's not the one for you.

People don't think twice about ripping out the interior of their new houses and knocking down walls. When you buy a house it's yours to do what you want with - even if it has a new kitchen and bathrooms, if they are not to your taste then out they come! There's something about a garden though that speaks to the hours of ongoing love and care and the fact that it's home to all kinds of wildlife. My mum has such a garden, but as she gets older it's getting harder and harder for her to maintain it. Funnily enough the biggest maintenance headache is the lawn which needs mowing weekly from March to November (we always joke you can measure climate change by the fact lawn mowing starts earlier and earlier and goes on later into the year!) If you are concerned about maintenance, I would question whether you want nearly an acre of garden - whatever you plant in it! This is likely why the older couple are selling - otherwise which passionate gardener could bear to leave such a beautiful garden?

I can’t believe people are seriously suggesting buying a different house. Buy the house and do whatever you like with the garden and don’t think another thing about it. You’re under no obligation to a load of plants or to the previous owners. Ridiculous. People with the time and resources can plant their own flowers in their own gardens. That garden is totally unsuitable for children and families are more important, as another poster said.

Honestly, I don’t think it’s the house for you even if you did turn it to grass. It will take at least an hour of mowing most weeks to keep the grass short for your football mad sons to play on. You may need to invest in a ride on lawnmower for that size of garden.

But if you do go for it, re consider a gardener.
I’ve got a bigger garden with some flower beds and a grassy hump that has a fox family living in it and wild flowers that I just let grow as they please every year. I pay a gardener £75 to come in every fortnight for 4 hours (south east). It keeps on top of it and I don’t need to do anything to it apart from some odd pruning now and then.

I have found some pictures on the internet of similar gardens - this is the level of flowers I am talking about!
Many of the flowers shown in your pictures are perennials or self-seeders. They look after themselves.
Please don't destroy a garden due to ignorance.

Aah, just seen your pics - no wonder you’re daunted, OP. And yes, it would definitely be criminal to rip a garden like this out. As I said, though, you may be surprised at how little you need to do to if you observe the garden for a year. A lot of what’s shown in your photos is established shrubbery, perennials and woody herbs. Anything that needs cosseting won’t last if you just leave it be.

An alternative to employing regular gardeners is just to use them on a less frequent basis to do the heavy lifting (reshaping, clearing, removing rubbish etc) two or three times a year. A team of two good gardeners can get a lot done in half a day.

Before doing anything at all you need to get professional advice on the best way to achieve what you want without going full scorched earth. Or honestly just wait and buy a different house.

Edited bc realised pics are not the actual garden!

I bought a similar house and have been doing just that. Condensing borders, ripping out whole beds, adding more structure and more lawn. It’s my house and I’ll do what I want!

If you turn it down, there's a very high chance the next buyer would do the same so 🤷‍♀️
If you want to assuage any guilt you could offer the current owners any plants they want to take to their new house (my dh would probably help them if they were elderly) also as pp have suggested plan your garden, decide what you're keeping and spread the word with neighbours, local gardeners and the local Facebook group that you are offering established plants. It's also a good way to meet your neighbours and people in the community. Plant sharing is very common in my village.

Your house, your decision.
But it doesn't sound like the right property for you.
Agree with previous posters, a vegetable bed is a huge amount of work, particularly as you state you don't want the maintenance of an established garden.
But, if astro turf, paving and raised vegetable beds are your thing, that's your choice.
But I imagine there'll be some tutting from the neighbours when you rip out all the established plants and rose beds.

Have you actually looked into what it would cost to keep it ticking over? My garden only needs a couple of hours a month (I pay a gardener to do it). In summer I don't mow the lawn more than once a month and it looks fine. You don't have to keep it looking absolutely pristine.

If you're not prepared to do this, buy somewhere else.

I would still buy the house but feel a bit guilty. You have to make the house and garden work for your family though.

It’ll be up to you of course but it makes me sad just thinking about it.

We have a 0.5 acre garden and have chipped away at it. My only advice would be what the estate agent state agent said when we bought and then duly ignored - the kids are only in the garden for a few years. School, clubs and tech driven lives mean that the garden is ultimately about the adults’ needs and wants. It is you who will spend 20 years tending it and enjoying when they move on from ride along toys and climbing frames. We have loved ours through all it’s incarnations, but the kids are at uni and we are now in late 50s and thinking about retirement. So, looking at ours and (as beautiful as it looks) we are dreading being tied to its maintenance for the next 20-30 years. In hindsight a smaller garden would have been a better choice.

On that basis you have to ask WHY you would want 0.8 acres beyond your children’s short term needs in the long term. If it is because you personally love the garden and see yourselves using it in your 40s, 50s, and on into retirement, then perhaps just clearing some of it, getting some advice on which are the easier/lower maintenance plants to keep whilst opening up a lawn area for them for now is worthwhile.

If you look at it and feel overwhelmed at the thought of maintaining it, I really would advise looking for a property with a smaller simpler garden that still provides privacy etc.

Reposting so people can see the level of flowers

Yesterday I watched the new David Attenborough programme about wildlife in British gardens. Have a watch of that before you ripping anything out. The amount of wildlife that is struggling due to people taking out native plants and the eco systems it destroys is so sad. Blue tits in particular lose most of their chicks to starvation as they feed them
caterpillars which are in very low supply due to people clearing out gardens.

I think it would be bordering on criminal and also a massive job in itself to take out.

I don’t think this is the house for you.

I

This. I have 3/4 acre plot with a lot of garden on it, albeit mine could be described as semi-formal. There are weedy, wild areas, a few fruit trees, hedged borders, a bit of lawn & hedged borders. I certainly don’t spend hours a day on it, (more like 2 hrs a week) and a well-established garden takes less maintenance. A professional (qualified garden designer or landscape architect) could advise you on what low maintenance bits to keep, where best to situate a lawn, and any other family friendly bits you want to add. I would budget for this. It would be well worth it.

Monty Don is quite open about the fact that very few people will take on his garden and continue to maintain it in the manner he has, and that much of it will be ripped out and changed. So i think most reasonable gardeners expect this.

Maybe learn a bit about topiary/ hedges as they only need maintaining once or twice a year and give a garden mature form that is worth keeping.

If it is as beautiful as you say, consider advertising for a few volunteers at the local retirement flats as many residents will have reluctantly given up gardens to move and may be happy to help and have a project. Just look at the number of people waiting for allotments.

Back to Monty, even Monty has reinstated his lawn in recent years, that he had originally had when his kids when kids and now needs again for his grandchildren. It is okay to have grass, so long as it is real.

Don't give up your dream of the perfect home in the perfect location for someone else's dream of a garden, they had their time there.