I’ve known my wife for 30 years and we’ve been married for 25 years The first 20 years of our relationship were trouble free and very happy. Barely a cross word or two over the course of a year, we spent a lot of time together and spoke a lot. It was brilliant. However over the last 10 years her behaviour has become increasingly erratic and unpredictable. She’s disagreeable, argumentative, gaslighting, verbally cruel and abusive and aggressive . An Emotional rollercoaster and it’s been terrible beyond words. She acts like this not just towards me but to her own family (some of whom have withdrawn contact), colleagues (leading to her losing a job) and even my colleagues and their wives when we are guests in their house. she has a complete different personality and it’s horrific. She had a traumatic childhood so that hasn’t helped. I’ve told her many times that I think she needs to see a doctor and a counselor to deal with the childhood trauma. She eventually did but it didn’t help. I’ve spoken to her mum at length many times too over the last decade. Her mum agrees she’s had a personality change but doesn’t know what to do. Last week whilst chatting about random trivial stuff she suddenly announced that she thinks she has autism and adhd and that she has been masking it her whole life and now the mask has come off and she can be her real self, which is a totally different person to the one I met and married She said she feels liberated now and can behave how she wants to rather than keeping it all in her head but it seems the “real” her is an appalling human and someone most people don’t want to-spend any time with. A big contrast to the “old” her who I met and married. She was sweet, kind, gentle, warm, caring and fun. she thinks this is brilliant. She can be her true self! AIBU to feel confused? I feel like I married a fake person because the person I married was artificially created by this monster masking her true feelings. She was essentially acting out very convincingly how a nice person should behave. Now she feels she can drop the act. what on earth should I do?