Bit of background I’m 38, 39 later this summer and DH is 48. We’ve been together 6 years, married summer 2024. This is my first marriage, his second. He has three children from his previous marriage. DD18 (finishing A-levels and hoping to go to Oxford like her dad ), and twin DS15 who will be sitting their GCSEs this year. We’ve only just bought a house together this year after years of renting. Made sure it’s a house that has enough room for everyone. His children have always come to stay regularly, and to be completely honest they’ve never warmed to me. I’ve tried I really have. I’ve made sure they’ve always had their own space, their favourite foods in, remembered birthdays, exams, all of it. But it’s always been very one-sided. Polite at best from the boys, outright hostile from DD. She barely speaks to me and has made it pretty clear she sees me as “the reason” her parents aren’t together (they split before I even met DH) I met DH at a speed dating event yrs after the split. They didn’t even want to come to our wedding in the end they did, but very much under protest. It was awkward, to say the least. Since then things have just settled into a sort of uneasy truce. I don’t take it personally anymore, at the end of the day they’re kids. DH does take it personally I tend to just say leave them to it, they’re old enough to feel how they feel. Anyway the situation. I’m pregnant. Very early days still, and we haven’t told many people at all. I’m excited really excited. DH, however, wants to tell his children next weekend when they’re staying. I really, really don’t feel comfortable with that. Given how they’ve been with me, I just cannot imagine they’re going to react well. I’m worried it will either be frosty silence or outright negativity, and I just don’t feel emotionally robust enough right now to deal with that. It feels like such a special, fragile time and I don’t want it overshadowed. I’m also conscious that this is their dad having another baby. I don’t want them to feel replaced or pushed out. The timing just feels… off. Part of me also worries they’ll tell their mum straight away, and then it becomes “a thing” before we’ve even had a chance to process it ourselves. DH says they have a right to know and that it would be worse coming from someone else later on. He also thinks telling them sooner gives them time to “adjust”. I get that, but I just feel like a couple more weeks wouldn’t hurt. So… AIBU to want to hold off telling them for now? Or am I being unfair keeping this from them when they’re such a big part of his life? I’m nervous, we do want children together. Would really appreciate some outside perspective as I’m feeling quite torn. I feel as though the age difference does play a part in how his children feel about me or maybe I’m overthinking everything.