AIBU to stay in a flexible but extremely low-paid job that suits family life?

[reallyneedsomeadvice]

I'm having to try not to make this too outing but really need some advice. I've been with the same company for 10 years, my boss is absolutely lovely, I'm a project manager in a very niche industry that generally pays loads less than other project management work. After covid we've had a really tough time and my boss had to take a loan out against the company. We're now doing much better but still not making big bucks, if that makes sense.

I work fully remotely from home, Mon-Friday, school hours as we got a little kid, (9am-3pm), additionally to my normal holiday get two extra weeks in August, never have any stress, and so much time during the day that I can do all housework.

However, I earn a pittance ( just under £25k a year ). My husband earns well and we are fairly frugal anyways so it's okay, but I am well aware that this kind of salary is a joke.

Should I;

AIBU) start a riot and demand more pay
YANBU) keep my extremely cushy job and just live on less money

I am well aware that I'll never find a job like this again which fits so nicely with family life! But the pay is crap

If you’ve worked there for a decade without a pay rise in that entire time, that’s a piss take.

You don’t have to go guns blazing, but you can definitely say “can we schedule a chat about my salary, as you know I’m on the same wage that I started on 10yrs ago and the cost of living has gone up considerably since then.”

Then have a chat about it, I’d be surprised if they don’t agree you were due a raise after all that time 🤷‍♀️

It sounds like the perfect job for your current circumstances. I’ve recently downsized my job for the second time and am much happier - it’s interesting, and flexible, but a pay cut, less responsibility and less kudos. I try not to compare myself to others (esp those I went to school and uni with, as some of them have very high flying jobs). Comparison really is the thief of joy.

I'm in such a similar situation and have been speaking to friends about having a low paid job in my late 30's and have been worried about what the future holds. On the other hand i work 5 days a week 1 day in the office which is great as i can choose what day suits me, i can drop off and pick up kids, attend all school events, have them at home when unwell, catch up on all housework and shopping during quiet periods (yes boss knows and is fine) the job is low paid but is very easy and really suits us. My partner earns maybe double what i do and we are comfortable so i've just accepted for at least the next 5/6 this is me

If you factored in tax, commuting costs, wrap around care and at least 2 additional weeks of childcare would the ‘higher salaries’ actually end up much better off? Generally salaries have not kept pace with inflation.

The NHS pays £25k to a large swathe of staff on band 2 including porters, clerical and secretarial staff, health care support workers, etc who work a 37.5 hour week.

The salary might not be great for what you're doing but you're not working full-time.

Salary isn't everything. Honestly it isnt.
Your set up sounds ideal. The older I get, the less stress I want from a work point of view.
You have to factor other things in too.
Yes you could likely get a higher paid job but when you think about wrap around costs and fuel etc as well as childcare in the holidays, would you actually be that much better off financially?
My job is fairly flexible, not as good as yours but I know i could earn more elsewhere. What stops me is the fact that if tomorrow something drastic happened and I needed to be off for whatever reason, it'd be no problem at all whatsoever. Full pay, no worry about not logging on. I've been here a long time and am fully trusted and my boss is amazing. I work hard and go over and above and they help me so much when I need it

What's that pro-rata? About 30k?

I think it sounds ok but I'd want to have a PLAN for earning more in the future, if the company doesn't improve. I'd also ask about a pay rise, and point out that you are on less than you were ten years ago.

Honestly, I would hang onto the job for another couple of years if you can. Yes, it's not a massive salary but your kids are only primary-aged once. Being able to be pick them up from school, and be around for them after school is amazing. The time goes fast...

I say this as someone who worked freelance during school hours when my kids were young. I actually ended up side stepping into a new (and better paid) area of work once they were a bit older. I sometimes compare myself to friends who have amazing careers that are still much more 'ahead' of me in terms of income and seniority, and I feel crappy about it. BUT, then I remember how a lot of those kids were looked after by nannies/childcare for much of the time, and it was pretty stressful all round. I'll never forget a very high-powered friend crying and saying she was 'missing her daughter's childhood' - that sounds extreme, and I know many families have little choice, but bluntly, there were some things she was missing because of the mega-demanding career.

On the flip side, I know a few mums who gave up work entirely when their kids were young (high earning husbands!) Now their kids are older, they are finding it very hard to get back into the workplace - they feel lost and resentful.

IMO - you are doing it right by keeping your hand in, and still having flexibility and a lot of time for your children. More money/a new job can come later...in the meantime, try to negotiate your salary up a little at annual reviews etc!

But she only works a few hours a day. Contracted for just 6, and does housework, so probably only does about 4-5 actual hours of work per day. And has 2 extra weeks of holiday in August. And the company has struggled financially. I expect if OP asked for more money she might find herself being made redundant soon after.

Factoring in the time OP can do other stuff during the working day, I think pro rata it’s probably nearer £40k

You said you were being underpaid. I am asking if you feel thats fair.

At the end of the day its your choice.

Stick with it.

Flexibility is priceless.

As long as you keep an eye on your pension, then to me it sounds like a good balance.

If you are generally happy and it suits you, then don't worry about what other people are doing - that way lies the road to madness!

Not to make it a race to the bottom, but I bet I earn less than you do! I do it because it works best for my family and tbh, I enjoy it.

The only thing would be if you are hankering for something more from your career. Atm I'm not, but occasionally I do wish I was doing something really (in my eyes) heroic, like nursing or paramedic. But realistically, I'd miss my children too much to retrain! Per hour my pay isn't bad either, but it is school hours and term time only which is why it's to poorly paid. A lot of my colleagues who are parents are similar to me. Quite well educated and middle class but sticking with a low paid job as it works so well for their families.

HOWEVER, you should, professionally and not with all guns blazing, ask for a pay rise.

I think it sounds great. I’m a teacher and work full time, get to work at 8, leave at 4:30/5, sometimes later. Don’t take a break and have 20 minutes for lunch as always have loads to do. Do at least 2/3 hours extra at home a week. It’s stressful. I get great holidays but I’m often run down.
Prioritise what works for you.

Your job sounds like gold op. Quite rare actually. Stick with it til your son is in secondary school. Staying that length of time won’t show stagnation, it’ll show commitment, that the company values you and you can demonstrate growth in how you developed the role during changes such as covid etc plus it supported you family life while your child was young. All good, all positive. Don’t compare to friends. I earn more but spend the extra paying for extras because I don’t have time to do it myself!

£16 per hour for project management work is not great BUT the cushy nature, 7 weeks holiday and fully working from home does offset some of this. Have you asked for a payrise?

I work a part time job from home which I had been underpaid for a number of years. The pay was £7k. I wrote to the boss calmly and reasonably setting out why I thought I should be paid more and he agreed and I got a £1.5k payrise. Don't assume you can't ask. Just be polite and reasonable.

Allowing for 30 min lunch break you are doing 5.5 hours a day, 27.5 hours a week. It's only 3-4 days a week so you have to think you are effectively only working 70-75% of full time. 25k for 70% FTE is more like 36k FTE and when you take into account that you get 2 full extra weeks off in August it's not such a joke anymore if its outside London.

My initial job after the youngest started school and after having been a SAHM for six years was 25 hours a week, so no need for childcare as I was back home in time to collect them from school. The pay wasn’t great, but boosted the family finances. But the most precious aspect of the job was the time I was able to spend with the kids after school.

^ this, school hours only is gold. Don't underestimate how many parents would love to WFH and only work 6 hours a day around school.

But also think long term, so for now this works but working for less hours and less money can impact you much further down the line with your pension pot so consider your Dh upping his pension contributions through work. That way his employer could potentially increase their contribution. If your marriage ends this pot would still be considered part of the marital assets so he isn't just building it for himself.

Having said that, long term does your DH consider all monies family money? Do you think he is the type of person to retire with access to his pot whilst you continue working because you cannot afford not to for your share of the household bills? Just something to consider. You are the one making the sacrifices for your child.

Consider upping your pension contribution through work although with the business only just recovering perhaps consider a SIPP. Or both and ISAs. Don't lock all your money away in pension pots.

You only have 5 more years before your son starts secondary where they are much more independent and you can look to move to another company and get paid your worth.

this is what I was going to say. If you worked 40 hours a week at the same rate your pay would be £33k which isn't bad. Plus the extra 2 weeks holiday is worth an extra grand on its own. If you worked further away you could be spending another 5-10 hours a week unpaid and £50-100 on petrol.

Maybe just keep an eye out for the type of jobs that are around locally that you might fancy, how much more they actually work out as, whether you're qualified for them or, if not, what additional training you would need etc., as a plan to get better paid work at some point in the future.

I’m retail and mostly love my job but am starting to panic about both retirement and when the kids need any proper financial help as adults so am job searching.

It's the bits you can't quantify that make it a good job.

How much would you pay to attend your kids assembly.
How much would you pay to not sit in traffic every morning & evening for 20 mins +
How much would you pay to do your jobs over the week, not save it all to the weekend.
What's it worth to pick up the kids and not have them in childcare.
How much would 2 extra weeks leave cost (you can buy leave some places, so that is quantifiable!).
How much would you pay to have a job you enjoy with a decent boss who's not micromanaging you and hassling you about targets?

To quote Jesse J. sometimes.
It's not about the money (money, money).

I'm shocked at the replies here, a PM is typically a well paid gig and you're on minimum wage.

For those hours I'd expect double, bare minimum. You are being royally shafted by your employer.

I do very similar work and am on 3x what you get, for reference.

Well I work similar although paid a bit more so I would of course say stay in the role.
If your husband has a decent salary I wouldn't change jobs.

This job sounds awesome ! Flexi jobs that work around school runs are like gold dust. I’d keep it for another few years at least