How can I make my quiet voice louder?

[eightjust8]

I am naturally quietly spoken and people struggle to hear me, if I really try to talk up it sounds unnatural and like I’m shouting at someone.
I find even strangers who I ask a question to will always ask me to repeat myself and I see them leaning in and trying hard to listen.
My voice is just quiet and I don’t know how I can become loud. OK not loud but be heard.

I’m never heard if I talk in a crowd and if I’m behind someone saying excuse me I’m never heard, I try to talk up but it’s still too quiet.
I often say something to someone and they don’t respond because they don’t even realise I spoke.
I really would appreciate any techniques or advice please as I hope there is something I can do about it.

A speech therapist? Ask your GP.

My husband is very softly spoken. Drives me mad as I can't hear him and lip read him a lot. He has vocal nodules and told he had reflux but stopped taking omeprazole after one month as it hadn't worked. This was before I met him. The first time my daughter met him she said "he's got vocal nodules" ...she's a trained singer. His dad was profoundly deaf but could hear me better as I would lower my range and articulate better so he could hear me...my husband would shout and he couldn't project his voice properly so his dad couldn't hear him even when he shouted
You need to get some vocal coaching and maybe record your voice to see what it sounds like.
I get driven mad by radio presenters who drop their voices at the end of sentences as I have a little high frequency loss and I can't hear them

I was like you for much of my life. I eventually accepted that when I spoke up even though it felt like I was shouting it was normal speech for everyone else. It took me a while but it is now normal for me. It is refreshing not to be constantly repeating myself.

I feel like this too.
I can project my voice well on a podium or stage but I can’t raise my speaking voice. When I do it feels similar to shouting, not because I think I’m shouting, but because I lose the ability to do all the subtle parts of conversation like emphasising a syllable, intonation, etc.

Following for tips

Yes I can do public speaking with no issues, but trying to maintain a louder voice for everyday makes the muscles in my throat ache and my voice crack.

I was brought up in a children should be seen and not heard house.
My Dad wanted complete silence when he was home so he could read the paper and listen to the news so I had to go upstairs.
I was literally terrified of making a sound because he’d shout shush and it made me jump.
I crept in and up to my bedroom where I kept a pint glass in case I needed a pee because there was a creaky landing and he’d shout what you doing up there it sounds like a heard of elephants on the landing so once he went to bed I didn’t dare disturb him by going to the bathroom.

No hair dryer when he was home and I’d suck my food because he hated crunching.

But… I’d never associated my quiet voice with that but it makes sense as I do tend to whisper when we’re in public in case anyone hears.
My mum always told me to be as quiet as I could so I didn’t disturb Dad, so I just learned to be quiet. Ironically when I talk to my Dad now he gets irritated because he can’t hear what I’m saying.
Maybe that’s why I am so quiet now, I spent so long trying not to be heard, not to sniff, stifle sneezes and coughs and quietly whisper anything to my mum before going upstairs to be quiet.

A free option would be YouTube looking for how to make your voice more commanding or at least listened to!

I have a very high-pitched voice that tends to get ignored so I have to consciously lower it. Took some practice.

Gosh, that's an extreme level of control on your dad's part. Do you still feel like you have to be silent around him?

@eightjust8, how sad, regarding your latest update.

This site may be useful, it also has techniques you could try at home.(towards the end of the article)

This is terrible op. I think you need to get some counselling to help deal with this, your df was abusive even if there wasn't any physical violence. To not dare go for a wee is awful .

Try counselling to deal with awful childhood experiences which is impacting your voice today, then group work would help with learning projection techniques and as others have said try a speech therapist to give you tips on upping your volume without strain. Good luck.

He still hates noise, he can’t tolerate the sound of children playing outside so he keeps the windows closed, if they bounce a ball it will drive him to distraction or a motor bike should go past.
I don’t see much of him these days, I talk to my mum on the phone regularly but she will go upstairs to talk so not to disturb him while he sits and watches telly all day now he’s retired in silence only speaking to bark orders at my mum who waits on him hand and foot while he snaps at her.
She’s very quietly spoken too and rarely speaks, I think she knows whatever she says is wrong anyway.
I don’t visit much because nobody can speak, if we sit down and my mum whispers as much as do you a want coffee, he shouts either a loud shush and we jump or some sarcastic comment like can I hear this then or will you be quiet!
Horrible man when I think about it but I’ve never thought about it before.

Can you go pick your poor dm up and the pair of you go somewhere for coffee?
He is abusive and controlling and the cause of your issues now.
Please get your mum away from him for a break and both of you go and be loud somewhere!

It’s fear lovey - you were properly frightened as a child. This is terrible behaviour on his part.

OP - it does sound as if your childhood / your dad are major contributing factors. So sorry you went through that.

So what do I do about it then? I don’t want to be quiet forever. I don’t need to be quiet anymore. I just need to know how to be heard with a voice I never learned to use.

Have you talked to anyone about your childhood and its effect on you? That's probably the best place to start, though things like singing can be very effective too, from the point of view of allowing you to experience using your full voice.

You get counselling to address the lasting effects if your awful controlling father, you and your dm meet up away from him and chat, try a voice coach for some advice and tips on voice projection and in the mean time socialise in quieter venues where you can be heard. Best of luck.

No I haven’t I don’t think it ever occurred to me it was because of that as a child I just accepted that was my dad and how dad was, he always said he didn’t want children so I blamed myself for being an inconvenience so I grew up quiet and trying not to be any bother and now an adult people pleaser.
Strange thing to tell a child really but he’s always been very blunt.

He sounds awful and I feel so sorry for Young You that you could never express yourself and lived in such fear.

If he didnt want children he could have left, then at least you and your mum could have lived peacefully without walking on eggshells.

Awful man. Poor you. Your poor mum.

I also suggest therapy as a first start. That'll help you get over the psychological side of feeling you need to be quiet, then a speech therapist for actually physically learning how to speak louder.

See if you can get an appointment with a speech and language therapist that specialises in the voice. I've heard of some therapies in place for adults who have lost the volume of their voice due to certain conditions such as Parkinson's (Lee Silverman Voice Therapy -LSVT) and I'm wondering if some of those techniques might help.

Me too.

Telling a child they weren't wanted is highly abusive, cruel behaviour. Your father should have loved and cherished you and thanked his lucky stars he had you. The fact that he couldn't do that was his failing, not yours.

Love this

I am the same. If I try to speak louder I get a sore throat