AIBU to consider a private gynaecology consultation while waiting for NHS referral?

[Sunglade]

I've already been referred to a gynaecologist at the local hospital due to long term pelvic issues and more recently fertility issues (been trying 10 months, but the symptoms added to this make it more concerning- endometriosis is strongly suspected with bowel involvement).
I'm wondering if it's worth getting a private consultation and whether or not they can refer back to the NHS for treatment? I know I should wait my turn but the list is 3-4 months long just for the initial appointment, and I'm worried that I wouldn't even get to see the consultant after such a wait.
I know no one can give definitely answers, but does anyone have experienced of this or anything similar and were you able to speed up your process by paying for your initial consultation with a private consultant?

We've just done exactly this for my child with ear problems. Paid £270 for a 20 minute consultant appointment, skipped a 6 month wait and have now been referred for surgery on the NHS.

Is it fair ethically? Probably not. But this is the way the world works- money gets you places. Good luck OP.

May I ask was the consultant you saw the same as the one you were waiting for on your waiting list or were you now sure? Glad that things have worked out faster for you, can't imagine how stressful it must be having a child needing to see a specialist.

So glad to hear you've had a big improvement since your op.
Did you book a private consultation as well or just the MRI? And which provider did you use?

This makes sense. I have noticed that my symptoms may point to needing specialist endometriosis care whereas my referral is for general gynacology. My worst fear is that I wait and don't even get to see a consultant as that sometimes happens with the NHS.

Hi OP,

I have no idea which consultant we would have seen as it was just a referral for an ENT consultant. I contacted my GP and asked for recommendations for a consultant privately for the issue and they gave me a list of specialists locally- this might be an idea for you to try?

I then looked on the website for the private hospital (a Nuffield) and the consultants have extensive profiles for their specialisms, training and medical interests. I called the hospital and enquired regarding a couple of consultants based on GP recommendations and what I had read and booked in. We were seen within 10 days. I double checked that I could be referred back to the NHS too.

If you can afford to do so I genuinely would. I am a big supporter of those who work for the NHS but the system itself just doesn't work, and this provided us our solution.

If you can afford it and as it also involves you TTC I would just want to know even if I couldn’t actually do anything immediately treatment wise. I have had a long time with my heart issues but that’s because I have had other tests and it’s been escalating and was also accidentally discharged from a list, had an MRI today with contrast dye. that’s the third and really big test I have had in a year Privately all that would be quite a few thousand, mind you we have just paid out for the cat to have an operation and that was 2k. But if I need heart surgery as mentioned by another poster above that’s more like 30k.

Thanks for sharing ❤️ I have been looking at specialists locally already and seen one that is also the head of the NHS department locally. When I called the private hospital to ask if they'd refer back to the NHS, they sort of said something like 'the consultant will write to your GP'. Is that the sort of thing that happened for you or were you referred directly to the surgery waiting list?

My DH recently had a huge operation using private healthcare. He had an ‘urgent’ nhs endocrine referral sent in December, received his appointment for late May.

In the meantime he used private health care through work, first seen in January. He had a multitude of scans and tests, was diagnosed with a tumour in Feb and said tumour removed in March. I’m a nurse and a great supporter of the NHS, but the waiting times are diabolical.

My DH will keep his NHS appointment as this condition is hereditary so our children will require investigation. His ongoing care which will now be lifelong will drop back into the NHS. It’s been pretty seamless.

Are there any options to join a health care scheme through work, some accept existing conditions albeit more expensive? My DH bill is currently £16k, we haven’t paid more than £1k for his cover and £22 for discharge medication.

Sorry to hear about your issues, it makes it extra stressful when the process of getting help is complicated doesn't it? If only it could be smoother, we are all ill after all! 😩
I'm hoping that by having the private consultation, I can speed up the process because there isn't much mystery to what this is now..I know I'm not a doctor but chronic pelvic pain involving the bowels, heavy periods and difficulty conceiving is usually only one of a few things.

Although over 25 yrs ago, I saw my NHS consultant privately to get the ball rolling, but then went on to have laparoscopy privately because being self employed it meant I could chose when it was done.

I went on to have a combination of NHS and private treatment for fertility. It was a bit of a rollercoaster and after several miscarriages we decided to stop and get on with life. We decided not to do IVF because the problem wasn’t getting pregnant but staying pregnant. IVF doesn’t always address this.

But then 12 months after giving up I found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t an easy pregnancy but my beautiful DS is now 21 and is now at uni.

I don’t want to be one of those miracles can happen posters, they can but they are not guaranteed because it’s a tough journey and even though we were successful the 8 years of trying were not easy.

Before jumping on the fertility merry go round make sure that you have a plan. You don’t have to set a time limit but it’s worth looking beyond fertility and making sure you can see a life together with or without children. We planned to buy a camper van and travel, and it helped us through the darker times when everything seemed hopeless. It puts a lot of strain on your relationship so taking chunks of time off to relax, travel and take the pressure off is essential.

And of course financing it all can be challenging. We built up a fund, lots of budgeting to save money to pay for private treatment. When we decided to give up we used the fund to have a brilliant holiday. I found out I was pregnant 6 weeks before we flew out to the Caribbean. I do think that stress plays a bit part and taking the pressure off I suspect had a positive effect for us.

During the 8 yrs of trying I had 3 laparoscopies, two involved extensive removal of lesions, 6 months hormone blockers which put me into a medical menopause and various fertility drug courses to stimulate ovulation. I was on first name terms with the sonographer by the time we finished. Coincidentally she did my first pregnancy scan at 6 weeks and was able to find the heart beat. We were both in tears because she’d seen me through so many failures.

I would like to say I have fond memories but to be honest I try not to look back.

So I didn’t actually pay! I was referred to Spire (I think) via the NHS originally and they did my ultrasound and consultation
he said he couldn’t operate as no colorectal surgeon and sent me back to the NHS list, then I got referred to a BGSE centre who did the MRI

Yes I think the value of paying for the private consultant appointment is that they will be able to narrow down what the likely problem is, get you on the right lists for that quickly and make sure you are classified with the right priority.

Fertility services are often separate so you can be referred re fertility concerns which is often quicker and gynae once app comes round. Yes they might be connected but fertility also do more specific tests and don't have all the day to day gynae stuff. This is what happened for me in North east and fertility app was reasonably quick.

That's so wonderful that he was seen and treated within the time it took to even get close to his initial appointment. It's definitely worth it when things are more urgent..
I don't have health insurance, I think my fiance's work offer one but I'd no idea where to start to be honest..

That sounds like many years of rough times, I am so sorry. How wonderful that your baby finally arrived though, that's amazing!

Thanks for sharing your experience despite it being so complex and difficult. It sometimes helps just hearing that people have dealt with something similar.

For me, I'm at a point where I've sorted of only just put the dots together. To be honest, I strongly suspected it might be endometriosis when I had big flares throughout my 20s because they died down a bit and went back to being painful only during periods I just learned to live with it. I have noticed though the bowel and sex related pain have crept up more in the last few years. Now I'm having this huge flare again where I'm in pain a week after my period, this combined with the lack of a BFP in 10 cycles of trying has sent me spiralling but I know that there is something there.

Thank you for sharing that. I'm going to keep in mind that once we pass the 12 month mark we can be referred for fertility support specifically. I hope your referrals went well.

Yes. Too many people end up facing death waiting on public appointments.
If you can afford it do it. I’m not well off at all but prioritise private treatment when I can.
I waited two years on an mri that I could have had done for 250 euro within weeks.

I think I'm going to book a private consultation today for next week. I contacted my GP surgery about this, just asking for support with this as I'm obviously a bit unsure, and all they've done is book me a phone appointment for the 1st June 😕 so I'll have to call them today and just say I'm making the appointment as I'm in pain and extremely distressed.
Thank you so much to everyone who contributed to this thread so far, it's been really helpful to hear what's worked for you and it's so eye opening that so many people have to navigate such complicated and stressful systems just to get the care they need, not to mention the expense for some. It really isn't fair for any of us.

@Sunglade yes, I actually got to cancel the fertility app as I found out I was pregnant the week before!! 18m trying though (I had underlying hormonal issues).

Exactly this - def go for a private appt to get the ball rolling. There are ways and means to go between both private and NHS for investigations etc

I think you are wise to rule out problems with the plumbing ( a lovely old gyni referred to it this way) before starting any fertility investigations. Since you are only 10months ttc they would probably send you off to try again for a few more cycles. Further delaying diagnosis of physical or endocrine problems. Better to start treatment now for endo than it being diagnosed after two years of fertility treatment. Women with endo are thought to be more prone to miscarriage. Surgery for the disease opens up a window of opportunity to get pregnant. Unfortunately despite the number of women being diagnosed there is no cure as yet.

Not only do we have a monthly cycle but evidence suggests we also have a slightly longer 6 month cycle resulting in a super fertile cycle every six months. The evidence is often obvious when you look at family birthdays.

Lots of siblings and cousins ( children of your mother’s sisters) have birthdays close together or six months apart. I’m one of 3 girls , two born in April and one born in October. My sisters DD was born on my birthday and my DS was due on her birthday in October.

I work in healthcare and frequently see the same pattern repeated in families over the years.

My DH is one of 4 boys, two born almost exactly five years apart in July and two born Oct /Nov. It’s possibly down to planning but since we tend to plan the gap between children rather than the time of year they are born it’s sort of dictated by when you fall pregnant with your first child. All my miscarriages followed our family pattern even with fertility drugs.

We worked out our maternal super fertile months were January and July. It’s worth having a looking for trends among close female relatives. Both my sister and I followed our DM

That's so interesting about there being a particular cycle on which women are most fertile. It does make sense that it would vary month to month but to hear there may be a distinct pattern is fascinating. I wonder if in some ways endometriosis might follow a pattern in that it can be much worse some cycles perhaps when hormones surge or for another reason.

It's been so hard TTC with this going on in the background. Because I've only just joined the dots properly, especially because my symptoms start days before my period so I know early when a cycle has failed. This month has been particularly bad with pain lasting over a week after my period. Ugh. Still waiting to hear back about a request I made yesterday at the GP.

So I've had a bit of a faff with this whole thing. Mixed information from both my NHS GP and the private clinic about what is and isn't possible.
I'm leaning towards booking a private consultation even if they can't refer me back to NHS for treatment/ follow up (this is what I've been told), just for someone to listen to my issues and give me an jdea. They would at least give me a discharge letter for my GP, so at least I'd have something on my record about whether this is likely endo or something else. Maybe they would be able to suggest I get an MRI scan, I think that would be best case.