to ask how to stop bingeing

[WaterandSandy]

Just eaten half a Victoria sponge, family bag of maltesers and family bag of peanut M&Ms and that’s by lunchtime. It’s like this every day.
Dont say WLI but any other suggestions would be welcome

Ignore this advice if you have previously had an eating disorder. But I am currently on a 16:8 fast, I eat between midday and 8pm. I am doing this because I am pre diabetic and although i eat 'healthy' I have zero self control sometimes and will graze on choc or biscuits etc. Now I calorie count when I feel like it. But mainly I am hoping it helps with insulin resistance. The thing is now its just made.me more mindful of what I am eating and has stopped the grazing. I wonder if imposing a window whwn you can eat (maybe not as extreme as mine) might help?

Make sure you only have healthy food in the house and find things that distract you in the moment. I have found aromatherapy useful (clary sage is great for stress) and sucking on a sugar free mint or 2. Deep breathing usually helps too making sure your out breath is longer than your in.

Your physciatrist is correct, you can’t use wli with a history of eating disorders, you have had anorexia and now binge eating disorder.

i suspect no one will be able to come up with something you don’t know already op if this has been going on for 45 years

It may be because you have been diagnosed with anorexia in the past?

To answer your query, my BMI dropped from 36 to 25.5. I lost 67 pounds (about 30 kg).

Assuming you’re overweight, I would definitely delve into why your psychiatrist doesn’t believe WLI is suitable for you, I also wouldn’t take their word as gospel, and challenge their thinking potentially unless you feel their justification is sound.

(Apologies just seen about the eating disorder)

Well done, that’s amazing. You must feel so great now especially as you are managing to maintain now.

It does feel quite hopeless. I might go back to starving myself as that was quite easy

I didnt see comment eating disorder and can't seem to delete my comment. Sorry!

OP, can you cut food and go onto meal replacement shakes? Just let food go for a while?

I had to be on a liquid diet for about six weeks and after a week or so, food felt very abstract.

I used to binge and spoke to my GP. She was very understanding and given I also have anxiety, she put me on anti anxiety meds which also helped with binge eating. I can comfortably eat a bite or two of cake now and be done. I can also look at food that would have been tempting before and not want any of it.

Hypnotherapy/remedial hypnosis to deal with the underlying cause and to change the way you think about food, from emotional to rational.

There's a thing called the diminishing marginal utility (DMU) which describes how the second bite of the cake – or slug of beer or drag of a cigarette – won't be quite as satisfying as the first, and the fifth slice of cake/pint of beer may well make you feel ill, but your mind is still chasing the pleasure of that first experience. This can be switched off.

@WaterandSandyapologies. Isn’t binge eating if you’ve had an eating disorder called bulimia? Perhaps you need to discuss it with your doc?

Some of what you describe sounds similar to me
I was talking to someone about it just last week
Evenings are the worst for me.
10.00 am me knows all the right things, makes the good plans, feels in control.
10.00pm me?? Not a chance.
Totally different mindset. And JUST NEEDS TO EAT (IT).

I'm about to start listening to a hypnotherapy thing again.
It has worked in the past, but its almost like I dont want it to work incase I miss the FOOD.

As Dr Xand says “ it’s not you it’s the food” Millions has been invested by companies into perfecting the mouthfeel and bliss point of UPFs. Making these foods so addictive. His book Ultra Processed People helped me. I also cannot have “ junk” food in my house to help minimise temptation.

I would suggest stop trying to restrict your food.

Your "start afresh tomorrow" is an unattainable target, if you consider it a failed day whenever you treat yourself or snack, and you are the type of person who punishes herself with food, so you'll just stay on the binge cycle.

Like PP have said, maybe consider eating three really nice meals a day and building in pre-planned treats as well. That way when you eat a bag of maltesers, you can enjoy them and feel that you deserve them, not that you have broken any rules.

I used to binge a lot before my period and found it helpful to eat more carbs, like porridge on those days. It's not an easy habit to lose.

What works is different for everyone, but I can tell you what works for me.

Don't buy the things you are likely to binge on. They're a lot less tempting when you have to walk to the shop to get them.
Exercise most mornings. I find I'm a lot less tempted if I've exercised because it feels like I am undoing my hard work. I now eat breakfast before running because I've learned to enjoy running and want to get better at it, and I know I need to fuel my runs to do that.
Protein - all the protein. Lots of protein. Lean protein with every meal/snack.
Fill up on high-volume/low-cal foods like veggies.
Eat regular meals and don't let yourself get too hungry.

If you do feel tempted, stop, try drinking something first, thirst is often mistaken for hunger, and if you're full of water/juice/pop, you can't fit in as much food. If you still feel the urge to binge distract yourself - go for a walk/run/jog/march on the spot/wash the pots, etc.

If that doesn't work, try a low-cal protein shake.

If you really, really cannot resist eating something healthy first, allow the binge, but make sure you eat some fruit/veg or salad first.

I also find that telling myself I can have what I'm craving if I still want it tomorrow often works. It stops me feeling deprived and usually by tomorrow I no longer want it.

The NHS is woefully lacking in help for binge eating disorder. If you can afford private treatment, I’d suggest doing that.

One cause of binge is restriction, either perceived by being on a diet or actual restriction. Intuitive eating can sometimes help if it’s not a full blown disorder. If you google intuitive eating there are some free resources and also low cost books.

I have got into similar bad habits for a variety of reasons. My main way of breaking the cycle is by simply not having these things in the house. If I can’t access it, I can’t eat it. I wouldn’t, however, just not eat if I have a craving (mine is always for sweet stuff). I’d have a handful of grapes or an apple instead, because I get that sugar hit that I’m craving. Also, eventually allowing yourself one small treat a week. For example, if I go out for tea I might have a pudding.

• Meal plan so you have a nice evening meal to look forward to. Try one new meal each week.

• Meal prep lunches each day so you have something nice to eat. Before a binge eat that if you must.

• Do not buy anything bad in from shops but have things you can see a treat. Hide any naughty things from view so you dont see it 20 times a day.

• Think of it as a 1 year journey of micro changes rather than a quick fix

• Don't count calories to start with. Let yourself have unlimited savoury foods like like cheese and almost wean yourself off sugar by not restricting food

• Dark 85% choc in the house, lots of fruit, make a fruit salad to keep tucking into, make a healthy cake with no sugar (use dates) - you might eat it all in one go to start with but think long term.

• Medjool dates are a great way of having something naughty, but great health benefits and no refined sugar

• Start journalling. I was sceptical but it really helped me work out triggers. If I eat high protein and no carbs for breakfast, I'm so much more likely to not binge later. Carbs I only eat in the evening if I can

• Do something nice for yourself each morning - one of the following: face massage, paint nails, nice makeup, a bath etc - this makes me want to continue taking care of myself each day

• Read the Chimp Paradox. Helps explain why we binge eat

• Move your body for 10 mins each morning via a walk. Decreases chances of me binging

Starter for 10 - this has been a long long journey for me, and I've now got a relationship with food whereby I see it as a fuel, and I love veg/fruits as an alternative snack. Good luck OP

But fair.

Start by giving yourself smaller amounts- i used to leave chocolate at work! And take home a small amount so im still getting the treat but on a smaller scale. Also I find low calorie hot chocolate helpful - options! Its so hard I know xxx

To add to my long list- on my phone I have a treat list. I'm healthy all week and I'm allowed anything I want between 2 and 4 on a Sunday each week.

During the week when I'm craving everything I write it down in my list to look forward to on Sunday. I can't eat everything I've written down but it helps knowing I can have it later in the week.

I used to binge as a comfort mechanism. Then I swapped it for going for a run. The more I ran, the less I craved junk. It is hard to start off with, but the thought of feeling better for a whole day because I am healthier and not binging got me through. Also I found the pain of running strangely therapeutic, like a good stretch.

Now I have a much healthier relationship with food. I want to eat food that nourishes me. The sugar high you get from binging crashes after half an hour and the brief high is just not worth the perpetual low.

Invest in yourself. Get a personal trainer who will hold you to account. I found it helpful to understand that food which is not required for nourishment is wasted whether it’s in the bin or in my body - so it’s better off in the bin.

You can do it!

I think it's not uncommon to have had issues around both food restrictions and overeating. It's having an unhealthy relationship with food in general and they use similar strategies for over/under eating.

I think it's much easier to actively decide to do a positive thing rather than to have to spend all day trying continuously stop yourself from doing something not good for you.

Two ways you could do that

1. Actively replacing one habit with a new one. So every time you want to open the junk food, go for a walk round the block instead, for example. Or some other new habit. Create a different association or coping mechanism default for yourself. Something which might actually make you feel better for doing it, but is easy to do and not unpleasant.

1. Reframe healthy habits in your head as little luxuries you are treating yourself to because you want to make yourself feel better not worse. Some kind of self-care, exercise, meditation.

It sounds like you use food to punish yourself. I think you can either try and change the behaviours or the thoughts behind it, ideally both.

I think that's quite a hard thing to do, so you could just try some little habits and easily achieveable targets - e.g drink more water in a day. It's been proven one good habit often leads to more. Psychologically, if we do something like go to the gym, we make a better choice after that because we don't want to undo the good thing we've done. It's like reinforcing a positive circle instead of a negative one.

I once heard it helpfully described as 'do the opposite of what you instinctively want to do' if you have negative habits.

But it's definitely easier to do something positive than not to do something negative.

Good luck.