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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to formally tell HR I think new employee is too slow and potentially a liar?

277 replies

simbale · 19/04/2026 07:14

I work closely with a new employee. They joined from another company and it was known that they didn’t really have the right experience for the job, but hoping they can learn fast.

This employee is a nice person, but they are just so slow. We have tight deadlines and she never wants to tell me an exact time she will finish something if I ask “when will X be done?”. She just says “hopefully by tomorrow” rather than “by 11am tomorrow”.

Recently I had to work really late to finish a work product because my boss was chasing me for it, but the new employee had sat on it because she didn’t know how to do it and was “busy”.

I recently found out that she has been telling another manager of my level that she couldn’t take on more work for him because she is super busy with my work. She told me the exact same thing the same day, that she couldn’t take on more work for me because she was super busy with his work.

I don’t know it, but it sounds like she is playing one off against the other to avoid work. AIBU to put this in formal feedback with HR?

I obviously don’t know for sure, and she seems very eager to learn when I have time to train her.

OP posts:
CornishPorsche · 19/04/2026 11:44

She's had just four hours of training in 3 months? That's absolutely appalling.

Ficinothricegreat · 19/04/2026 11:48

simbale · 19/04/2026 08:57

The four hours was 1:1, she has had loads and loads of training videos or presentations otherwise.

When she started she was quite chatty and excited about the role, but now she just seems withdrawn and that comes across in the standard of her work.

I have spoken to her on multiple occasions about how she needs to be faster and improve her work. We don’t have formal policies on responsiveness but at her level she should be checking with people.

The only time she has admitted to struggling is when she told me she was getting reasonable workplace adjustments put in place so she can take a bit longer sometimes. But this just sounds like another way to avoid meeting expectations.

So she has an issue, say ND which warrant (by law) reasonable adjustments. I’d be careful you don’t get into trouble OP because it might turn out you’re bullying her as someone with protected characteristics

Dinomum79 · 19/04/2026 11:48

Sounds like an awful working environment! Four hours is not enough guidance . Demands to go faster should come after training and settling in . 3 months is it long . You also don't sound approachable if she needs help so is maybe taking ages trying to figure it out herself . Poor woman. Please be kind !!

Dinomum79 · 19/04/2026 11:49

Sounds like an awful working environment! Four hours is not enough guidance . Demands to go faster should come after training and settling in . 3 months is not long . You also don't sound approachable if she needs help so is maybe taking ages trying to figure it out herself . Poor woman. Please be kind !!

RegalDiamondMonster · 19/04/2026 11:51

I don't think asking someone when they will be finished is the right way round - surely it's more normal to say ' I need x done by date y', and then regular check-ins to make sure they're on track/any questions etc?

I also think this is a structural problem- she clearly needs good and clear management (and much more structured training), not competing colleagues asking for her help with no guidance on what/who to prioritise etc.

PurpleReindeer2 · 19/04/2026 12:00

I'd love to hear her side of this in regards to the lack of training and levels of expectation.

HoppityBun · 19/04/2026 12:03

I have more sympathy for your situation @simbale than other PP. What I think this thread shows is that:

  1. there is information missing from your posts, about performance objectives, that you will have to provide whatever course you choose to take
  2. you will have to evidence your points about training and performance with a clarity that you’ve not given here
  3. if you are thinking of reporting to HR because the issue is the probation period, you should involve your own LM
  4. your own training and management responsibilities to this person aren’t clear here. In any further action, you will have to match these to what you are stating are the shortcomings on the probationer
  5. you will have to specify what can and cannot be done to improve this person’s performance, with timescales
  6. it isn’t clear why you describe her as possibly a liar. That’s an allegation of dishonesty that should be avoided in all but the most blindingly obvious cases
whatwouldlilacerullodo · 19/04/2026 12:10

You sound like my worst nightmare. I have ADHD and even with medication I can't be that fast all the time. I'm very good at other stuff, though. Working with you would make me anxious and withdrawn. I have no idea if that's the case of your colleague but remember that things that are easy for you may not be easy for her. And vice versa.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 19/04/2026 12:18

You seem to have a very proprietorial attitude about this employee and want to take on the role of being her line manager without the responsibility of helping her, or training her. You just want to stab her in the back

Be aware that once you flag up her inadequacies, you've engaged yourself as part of the process to improve her or move her on (to unemployment) and it's very likely you'll be told to train her and monitor her, so you'll have to spend time on her that you don't seem to have or want to give.

She sounds overwhelmed and you sound overbearing. Just be a decent colleague and train her and support her.

lazysundaymorning0 · 19/04/2026 12:20

I’m in a fairly new job and I have had 4 MONTHS almost 1-1 training. I still have someone sat near me that I can ask questions to

ServietteUnion · 19/04/2026 12:29

simbale · 19/04/2026 08:57

The four hours was 1:1, she has had loads and loads of training videos or presentations otherwise.

When she started she was quite chatty and excited about the role, but now she just seems withdrawn and that comes across in the standard of her work.

I have spoken to her on multiple occasions about how she needs to be faster and improve her work. We don’t have formal policies on responsiveness but at her level she should be checking with people.

The only time she has admitted to struggling is when she told me she was getting reasonable workplace adjustments put in place so she can take a bit longer sometimes. But this just sounds like another way to avoid meeting expectations.

God, in her shoes I'd be withdrawn too. She's probably stressed and depressed, and I bet she's checked out and jobhunting too. This all sounds completely unreasonable and unkind.

whattheysay · 19/04/2026 12:33

I feel sorry for her.

Newusername0 · 19/04/2026 12:45

You sound very spiteful and unprofessional. Probably bitter that someone who wasn’t so experienced managed to walk into the job you’ve been doing for 6 years. Complain to HR, tell them exactly what you’ve said here and ready yourself for when you get one back!

weegielass · 19/04/2026 12:50

If it wasn't for the fact I've already resigned, and left, I'd think you were my employer. It honestly sounds the exact same.
I'm currently putting a case together for discrimination with the help of my union who say I have an excellent case. (other legal firms said the same)
Do better, and do better fast, or your employee could do the same OP.

Pessismistic · 19/04/2026 12:56

The first thing you need to do is call her out on her lying tell her this doesn’t work in this company you cannot lie to management to get out of work you need honesty from employees if your to be asked about her before probation ends tell her you are not convinced she is right for the job hopefully she will either improve or decide job is not for her. Either way you can’t have an employee dictating to 2 managers.

rainbowunicorn · 19/04/2026 13:00

You sound awful OP. The poor woman is probably withdrawn because of you. She has had reasonable adjustments put in place for a reason. If she is doing work for more than one manager then it is not a lie to say that she can't take any more on. Maybe she feels that with her current level of skills and understanding she is at her capacity. You need to really improve your attitude to this. If she isnt getting proper training and you are making it quite clear she is an inconvenience then how do you expect her to learn? If you dont have the skills or time to adequately train and mentor the poor woman then take it up with your line manager. Just because you know how to do a job well does not meant you are any good at teaching someone else.
I hope this employee realises how lacking you and the company you work for are in managing new employees and finds something else soon. It sounds like quite a toxic workplace.

CautiousLurker2 · 19/04/2026 13:00

It sounds as though she is unhappy in her job and that maybe a 3month check-in in with her manager is now due.

I’m not sure that telling her ‘she needs to be faster’ is very constructive, though. If you are delegating work to a newbie you need to a) make sure that what is required is very clearly set out and state that if she has issues she is to come immediately to ask for assistance/clarification [and then give that freely and willingly without telling her she is too slow] and b) set deadlines: this needs to be done by 2pm tomorrow - can you do this? Would you like me to check in with you at 10am tomorrow see how you are going? Etc.

A 3month review with the line manager may facilitate not only communicating expectations to her but also address any concerns she has in the way she is being managed by you and your counterpart. I’m afraid you MAY be part of the issue.

ScaryFaces · 19/04/2026 13:04

She was taken on in the knowledge she would need to upskill to do the job

She has not been given any formal training (4 hours plus some videos is next to nothing)

Sounds like she’s not been given any clear targets or feedback either

She’s being given work she’s had no training on and has no idea how to tackle

The person assigned to train her (you) has barely given her any time, is setting arbitrary deadlines, not giving her clear expectations or feedback, and likely from your tone, is unapproachable and being snappy and short with her

She has no line manager to support her

She started off chatty and enthusiastic but is now withdrawn

She has mentioned reasonable adjustments to you but you don’t know why or for what, so you’re assuming dishonesty (!)

The poor woman. What an absolute nightmare. No wonder she’s withdrawn, she’s probably utterly overwhelmed and dreading every minute she has to spend getting work piled on her that she has no idea how to do while you bark “Faster! Faster!” at her. It’s like an anxiety dream come to life.

CheeseAndTomatoSandwichWithMayo · 19/04/2026 13:06

I agree with @ScaryFaces

It sounds like a hellish workplace.

ForCosyLion · 19/04/2026 13:12

Telling each of her managers, at the same time, that she's busy with the other manager's work is seriously cheeky! Talk about trying to pull a fast one.

Notalotanota2026 · 19/04/2026 13:14

simbale · 19/04/2026 07:55

I have told her several times that she needs to be faster. She needs to aim to respond to my emails she gets within one hour, for example.

Your approach seems completely wrong.

ScaryFaces · 19/04/2026 13:15

I would also add as a trainer your approach is poor - you've said she needs to be faster and more accurate, likely what's happening now is she's trying to do both at once before she's skilled enough to do either. You need to work on one thing at a time and the thing to work on first is accuracy - once she's more confident and practised, the speed will come, but it's pointless being fast if you're not getting it right, and pointless to try and rush someone who's still learning the basics as of course their accuracy will then suffer.

Ask yourself honestly, would the time you're having to spend correcting her work be saved if you just gave her a little longer to complete it in the first place? It is not reasonable to expect someone who's been there 3 months to be as fast as someone who's been there 6 years, and certainly not reasonable to rush them unbearably then criticise them for making mistakes.

You're also complaining that when you ask her how long something will take, she's not precise enough - have you actually explained to her clearly that you expect an answer like "before 11am tomorrow" and not just "tomorrow"? Because there's nothing actually wrong with the way she's answering your question, she can't know you want an answer to the minute unless you tell her.

And expecting her to answer your emails within an hour is rubbish, that's just micromanaging and is probably just creating distraction and more anxiety for her. And you're not even her line manager, so unclear why you have the authority to demand this.

I've been in this exact same position, expected to learn "on the job" from someone who had absolutely no interest in training me and saw me as a nuisance, treated every question I asked and every minute she had to spend with me as a huge imposition, it was horrible. If you really don't have time to train her, you need to raise this with your line manager - not as a criticism of her, but framed as the reality - as a new starter with high training needs, she needs more support than you have time to give.

Manxexile · 19/04/2026 13:21

@simbale - "... We have tight deadlines and she never wants to tell me an exact time she will finish something if I ask “when will X be done?”. She just says “hopefully by tomorrow” rather than “by 11am tomorrow”..."

How on earth could you reasonably expect her to give you the exact hour that something will be finished by tomorrow if you ask an open ended question like "when will x be done?"?

Ask a more reasonable question like "Will X be done by 11am tomorrow?" or "Will x be done by noon tomorrow?" if that is what you want to know. Ask an imprecise question and get an imprecise answer. Ask more precise questions if you want a more precise answer.

"... Recently I had to work really late to finish a work product because my boss was chasing me for it, but the new employee had sat on it because she didn’t know how to do it and was “busy”..."

Have you told her about this or are you planning on keeping her in the dark until you complain to HR?

"... I recently found out that she has been telling another manager of my level that she couldn’t take on more work for him because she is super busy with my work. She told me the exact same thing the same day, that she couldn’t take on more work for me because she was super busy with his work..."

Is it at all possible that both might be true? ie she can't take on more work from either of you because of tasks you have both given her?

You sound a bit of a pain to work for...

rainbowunicorn · 19/04/2026 13:56

ForCosyLion · 19/04/2026 13:12

Telling each of her managers, at the same time, that she's busy with the other manager's work is seriously cheeky! Talk about trying to pull a fast one.

How so? I do work for several different managers in my role. If I have work to complete from each of them and one asks for me to do something else on top I will say that I have no capacity at that point. Thats Not a lie, that is managing my workload.

anniegun · 19/04/2026 14:00

HR are not there for your whinging. Talk to your manager like a normal person