Why do people say it’s not safe for kids to play outside anymore?

[Waitingforthesunnydays]

People always say things like “it’s not like it used to be, kids can’t go off and play outside on their own these days”, “In my day we’d be out playing all day, the world’s not what it used to be”, “You can’t do that these days, it’s just not safe” etc etc. AIBU for thinking the world’s no more dangerous than it was in the 70s/80s/90s and it’s just and excuse for parents not to feel guilty about letting their kids sit home gaming all day? I get that we are now more aware & educated about the dangers (although in the 80s weren’t parents obsessed with “stranger danger”? - there were ad campaigns about it everywhere) but it doesn’t mean it actually IS more dangerous. Or am I missing something? Is the world somehow more dangerous in this respect now? I grew up in a rural area in the 90s and as a kid I’d be out morning till evening every weekend roaming for miles with all the village kids. Nothing bad ever happened and we were never in any kind of danger. I live in a rural area now and I’d love for my kids to have the kind of childhood I had but for their friends’ parents it’s all about structured play dates and organised trips to play centres etc. so even if they wanted to go knock on their mates’ doors to ask if they want to come out and play (they’re 9 & 11) the parents wouldn’t appreciate it or let them out at all.

I didn't know any kids that went around with knives, every year since I moved here from my very old fashioned sea side town there's been a school kid stabbed, murdered by other kids or gangs.
If it doesn't feel safe parents won't allow it will they.

This is for the US and from a biased source but their numbers show crime down:

https://letgrow.org/crime-statistics/

My dd is 7 and i know she will be desperate to play out in the summer. A lot of her friends did last summer. We live on a newbuild estate and there are cars everywhere and lots of access points in and out of the estate. It's already playing on my mind. But like others, at her age i'd have been out all day and night.

Traffic, lower acceptance of risk. It wasn't unusual to fall of a wall and break a bone when I was young. Totally acceptable risk of playing out. It would be frowned on now.
Also the age range of playing out is more limited now. Under 8s would raise concern, over 13 would get complaints about Abso youth. So kids don't build their independence and learn to fear teens.

Cars everywhere, strewn all over pavements. People have fewer children. Makes the ones they have got even more precious.

Op have you read The Anxious Generation, there is a great chapter about this.

They ague that stranger danger to children is far greater from online use (the hidden stranger on the net is far more of a danger than the unknown face in the neighborhood).

Communities used to be stronger so more adults and children knew each other and groups of roaming children often did have someone's parent, sibling, aunt or uncle on them at some point.

Known but unrelated adults were more inclined to intervene - both to correct bad/dangerous behavior and to assist if there was a problem. Now people are afraid to approach children in case they are accused of something.

Its a fascinating book about how children are loosing their play time to computers and what effect that is having. I would recommend a read.

Social media doesn't help. There was an incident near me last year. The junior school yard and field backs onto an large open recreational area with grass and wooded areas.

We had a group of waxwings randomly visit.

There was a man creeping about in the bushes with a camera. There were loads of posts on social media about him as he was obviously spying on the children in the school yard and taking pictures of them.

In reality, he was a harmless birdwatcher and was just taking pictures of the waxwings.

Also, demise of the extended family is a factor, IMO. When we were kids, all the female neighbours were known as "Auntie" this or that.

No more coppers on the beat.

Its never been safe ever.
But we was taught to be mindful and know our surroundings, and always be with friends.

This is really interesting.

i went to a lot of effort to try to give my kids a free range childhood.

there’s a channel 4 fact check on child murders and abductions.

interestingly, it seems quite a lot of abductions are a parent who doesn’t have custody taking the child (ie if you are a 2 parent family this is not a risk)

https://www.channel4.com/news/factcheck/factcheck-are-children-less-safe-now

I don’t think it’s more dangerous - I think in my generation we got ourselves into much more dangerous situations because we were out all the time and being young and naive you don’t see this at the time.

I think parents have over the years become much more wary and stricter with their children, I think it’s possibly cause of the level of access to news and social media is so much bigger than it ever was so it gives the illusion of more danger when in reality it’s probably not much different you just hear about it more.

When you think in the age of technology that we’re in - you can track your kids and have allsorts of tech things set up which help with safety issues. Yet in comparison to older generations who had none of that or perhaps just a mobile, they go out a significantly less amount than the earlier generations.

I was born in 1990 and personally I loved my time ‘hanging around’ outside in secondary school. It made me street smart and more able to look after myself or at least have social awareness and lots of different experiences. I was very rebellious and always up to no good but I think that’s part and parcel of growing up.

Recent generations are really missing out and losing social skills due to the digital age and being able to be in contact with friends etc without leaving the room.

Hadn’t thought about what you said about a young child potentially breaking a bone while out playing being frowned upon. I think a big difference might be back in the day it would be an unfortunate but fairly standard consequence of childhood playing and wouldn’t raise an eyebrow at A&E. Now, it’d be “what the hell were they doing alone, unsupervised, I’m calling social services”. You’d be seen as an irresponsible parent much more than you would be in the past

I recently read a very good book (Stolen Focus, Johann Hari) that went into this, and how parents are much more fearful of their children playing out and about, even when evidence points towards things being safer now. It means that children miss out on real development opportunities that cannot be replicated on video games and under the watchful eyes of their parents.

My older dc were all able to be quite feral, which has served them well. My youngest is able to do that but none of his friends go out like that, so he goes on video games in order to socialise with them.

Cars.

I've always thought it to be a huge irony that one of the reasons parents give for driving their kids to school is that "there are too many cars on the road".

In 2024, car drivers caused over 1500 deaths, and almost 30,000 people were seriously injured. About a third of these people were pedestrians.

That's about three times the murder rate. Just let that sink in. A murderer gets front page coverage. A car driver kills and, well, it's just accepted.

So, objectively, car drivers are the biggest threat to life after disease.

Sources: (1) https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/reported-road-casualties-great-britain-annual-report-2024/reported-road-casualties-great-britain-annual-report-2024, (2) https://www.statista.com/statistics/288195/homicide-rate-uk/

The cars thing fair. But the other? Doesn’t make sense? If it’s thanks to the internet you believe that - then surely playing out is safer than sat inside online?

Lots of children are extremely protected and not allowed to develop in age appropriate way. Eg driven everywhere door to door. Not encouraged to interact with anyone. Road sense can be shocking as they have never been out without an adult even a secondary school age.
I volunteer with a youth group for age 10-13 and I’ve had children frightened on public transport as had never used it, upset when people have interacted with us when out inc people in uniforms/working at attraction. Mums not wanting children to go around village in a small group to do an activity. Children not used to asking for things in shops or cafes or paying for things, expecting adult to do it.
When we go on trips it’s often the small things they love and gain confidence from eg choosing a meal deal and paying for it yourself. Can I get the smoothie in the meal deal - I don’t know you ask man on the till. Ordering a milkshake in a cafe.
It’s very noticeable post Covid how restricted some children’s lives are.

Not only at secondary school actually - my whole street used to be out playing on bike or rollerskates or kerby when young! Hardly ever see it anymore

This.

Likewise adults. They don’t go out and just sit outside much anymore. Everyone is much more indoors so there is less natural surveillance.

Also people less likely to help each other for fear of being accused of xyz.

My poor dp ended up in a right pickle when he saw a 3 year old cruising the streets by themselves and had to follow the kid loudly shouting at everyone… do you know them?!

The dad had left the door open and eventually turned up but he was also quite suspicious of my dp who made a quick exit 🫣

Kids are far more at risk in the house on line, at school on line, at friends houses on line, than outside playing near your house.

Children are also not as street smart as we were in the 80s, they also seem to lack common sense.

Yes I agree with this so much!! And it’s so hard as parents are constantly judged and berated no matter what they do.

But I really think the younger generations are missing out on so many skills - if they’re not given the independence to learn and make mistakes (in a controlled way) then surely that’s even more dangerous in the long run? Eventually they will have to navigate these things so why not teach them and ensure they’re knowledgeable and confident.

I think a huge part of children not playing out unsupervised is that the parent(s) have had something bad happen to them. CSA is unfortunately more prevalent than we like to think and for a lot of my female friends had inappropriate comments, touching or worse done to them as children.

Yeah and they’re not street smart cause they don’t go out and then not allowed to as don’t seem old enough so the cycle continues.

You have to experience something to get good at it or confident or learn

Really?! That’s really sad and not something I personally have experienced or heard off people I know. I wonder how common this is