Donating to charity instead of sending Christmas cards

[Askingforafriendtoday]

Probably get slammed but why do people need to excuse ( as I see it) not sending Christmas cards by saying they are donating to charity? If you cannot be bothered/are too busy/cannot afford to send Christmas cards don't send them and explain why if you wish. If you want to/can afford to donate to charity do, if you don't/can't, don't. I find the justification really annoying. I love receiving Christmas cards, they help decorate the house beautifully, glittery, golden bits catching the light, and I'm interested in people's news if I'm not in regular contact with them. Charity Christmas cards are a good idea too, all chariyies only get a percentage of donations as it is.

Totally agree. I donate to charity AND I send Christmas cards. But I don't send nearly as many cards as I used to because I am too lazy to write them and too impatient to spend ages in a post office queue waiting to buy stamps (as some would go overseas, so I can't just buy books of stamps for the UK). But I don't start trying to justify it, I send people texts/WhatsApps to say Happy Christmas and freely admit I was too lazy! So were they in most cases, so they don't get offended :)

I agree with OP. I love sending cards - always buy charity cards (donation to the charity and also provides employment for someone to produce the cards), deliver as many as possible by hand but those that are posted are helping the Royal Mail to keep afloat. I took get very irritated by the fake and sanctimonious "I'm donating to charity" .

I agree with you and personally feel it’s just lazy

many people say they don’t want to write to Jane from John in a card and see it as a waste of time

i see it as providing employment for someone who produces the cards, supports a charity as I buy charity cards and shows people, even if it is to Jane from John that they are thinking about them

Not 12th night yet, and you could even keep them up until Candlemas!

I find it weird too, partly because for most of my crowd, given the cheapy cards they used to send and their earning power, I'm certain they could afford to do both, but also - it's just odd to say I've decided to spend my money on charity rather than spend it on you. I'd be totally OK with someone saying "I really don't want a Christmas present, if you really want to spend money on me please donate to X charity" as that way they are only depriving themself as it were. Some of my relatives really love getting cards and having them up, it seems harsh to be basically saying "I know you really like them, but regardless I'm not going to get you one because charity is more important".

The subtext of the charity messages is that there is some sort of obligation to send cards, so if you opt out you have to make up the financial loss in some way, or you are cheating the system.

There is no obligation. It is nothing to do with 'being bothered'. Sending cards is a personal choice, as is whether to record the names of refuseniks so you don't send one in return, or to post virtue-signalling messages about how you will still spend the obligated sum on something good.

Also, not sending cards has nothing to do with not supporting charities. The two things are separate. Cards are a commercialised 'tradition' that is far newer than Christmas, and charitable donations can be done at any time of year. Maintaining contact and nurturing friendships is about more than scribbling 'from Ellen, George and the kids xx' on a bit of card, too. I send them to older relatives who are never going to shake off the idea that the number of cards they get is directly related to how much they are loved. Otherwise I don't send them, and I don't care who gives what to which charity - that's up to them.

If people donate to charity instead of sending me a card that's fine - but I won't be bothering to send them a card either!

I never send Christmas cards. I would never use that as a reason to give to charity, though. I don’t put up Christmas cards either. I open them and then they go straight the bin, like any other post.

This has made me a bit sad as I have just done this as I thought it was a better use of my money. I hoped that my friends would understand but maybe they are thinking the same thing! I did an ecard instead from Don’t Send Me a Card and I thought it was really cute and specified the charity that I had chosen. I will probably still do it again next year but not because I am showing off about donating to charity or don’t care about my friends and family!

It’s not anti charity at all. It’s anti being performative about donating to charity.

That's the exact outcome that people want. Those of us who don't send bits of card 100% do not want to be given any.

Actually, that’s a good point. I was going to say “but what about the cost of postage?“ But, perhaps because I don’t have enough friends, the cost of postage was around a pub lunch. I’d much rather give up a pub lunch than lose contact with friends, howeve distant, and with relations. There is the argument that if you only keep in touch with them at Christmas, then what’s the point: I think there is a point.

To me, especially as I get older, maintaining connections, however distant and from the past, is important. We like to know that we’re thinking of each other. We like to know that we remember.

So you'd like people to send them to you but you don't want to send to them?

Now that really is a stretch. But I suppose if 20 quid at Christmas instead of cards is the only time you give to charity then, well, crack on.

I think it is mostly the older generation keeping up this tradition.
Most of the 30 and 40 something people we know put this message up on their socials a few years back as a way of explaining they weren't snubbing anyone and to phase out cards. The majority of us now don't exchange them (or have carried on with the message).
I now give out a few in person and send them back to one friend and one elderly relative.

I’ve had cards from people in their 20s and, I hadn’t sent them any.

Children also give them to each other seem to to enjoy it. They’re also prettiest due to using Christmas cards to raise money, I’ve noticed.

I think it really does vary and I’m not sure that you can divide it up by age.

The one thing I really don’t see the point of these days is picture calendars that you hang on the wall. I’ve been sent a couple and I appreciated the thought, but I just don’t use them anymore.

When the price of stamps went up, my Christmas cards were going to cost £20 to post out. I donated food to the dogs & cats home and the hedgehog lodge. I prefer to do that as it actually means something to these animals. Most people don’t care about the cards. Last Christmas I did send 3 cards as those people were bothered!

I find it strange also. For a few years now I’ve not done cards and I’ve said “we aren’t doing cards this year” end of.
My in-laws still send cards despite us saying we aren’t bothered and don’t put them up. But if they want to continue wasting their money that’s fine.
we get each other one and our daughter.
I don’t mind special ones but I don’t see the point in a cheap card being bought and sent that literally says “merry Christmas”

Exactly my feeling! I couldn't quite work iut why it irritated me so much but you've hit the nail on the head! Thanks!

£10 plus postage doesn't buy and send many cards. Some people love receiving cards as I said and are interested in people's news. The charity will receive a small proportion of the £10.

Actually I recycle them for years

Personally I hate it

Just donate to charity without virtue signalling about it on social media.

You thought wrong then

It's good for the charities, so I'm not going to knock it.

You thought wrong then